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| The Devils Words | Started by: Intervention on Feb 03, '08 17:34 |
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A guy in a black and white pinstripe suit walked out into the corner of New York city street trying to gather a large crowd, he steps up onto the window lean of outside the biggest casino in the city, he starts shouting from the top of lungs so everybody could hear... The Devil came to me last night, early in the morning he woke me up out of a huge slumber and had a full scale conversation with me, I was so freaked out and he was calmly speaking away, just like I was his good old friend who he has a chat with all the time. Still in shock I asked him a few questions about what my life so far and what he wanted me to do... After getting over the fact that this wasn't just and old joke from the guys down at HQ, I asked Satan if he thought I was the best Mafioso he has seen throughout my family tree, he told me I have definitely set myself a far higher goal than those before me. Then I went on and kept asking about the rest of my family living down in hell with him, he told me about my father and grandfather but then went on to say how he wasn't some wise man who would sit and answer questions all night, he told me he had come to ask me something. I looked into the devils eyes and wondered if this would help me become a better Mafioso, or if he would give me some sort of super power to destroy my enemies and make anyone do what I want, he told me that he wanted my soul, I asked him if he went around doing this a lot, he replied, Yeah it's kind of my thing... I asked what would I get in return, he told me I would reach every goal I set for myself, food would taste ten times better, women would feel ten times better and I could pretty much have any woman I wanted.... Knowing I was going to go to hell anyway I kindly agreed, although I believe there was some kind of catch, maybe my lifespan won't be as long, maybe I'll be treated even worse down in hell when I get there, I didn't really care the outcome seems good to me, I'll report back whenever I find out exactly what is going on with the whole Devil situation... Tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do, after I signed my soul over he just vanished, but the food is tasting good, And so far so good on the poontang situation and that's only the first day since signing over my soul......... Oh yeah... I had a question to ask, has this ever happened to anyone else? |
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Well once i woke up to an angel standing over my bed, he told me i was slowely walking down the wrong track, after thinking for awhile, i slowely reached under my bed for my gun and shot off his halo, telling him to turn the fricken light off, cause i was trying to get some shut eye. Other than that nothing.... I would love old Satan to come visit me someday, teach the true meaning of what it is to be evil and why that old bugger God won't leave him alone, its just not fair... |
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| Reply by: MetalSkeleton at Feb 03, '08 18:28 | |
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FlyingWig step's up to vent his demon's I once had an encounter, i was walking down the street and i spotted a 7-11, feeling thirsty, i decided to go in and get a spot of the ol' Coca Cola, as i ambled around the isle's, i noticed that the attending shopkeep was on his own, feeling the weight of my trusty side arm in my inside jacket pocket, i thought, "YES, it's too easy, i can pull out ol' arthur ( Ar'fur is my name for my gun, as in every time i pull it out and aim, i have half a chance of hitting - hence Ar'fur!)" Suddenly, i small fellow, no bigger than my thumb , pops up on my right shoulder, he is dressed in white and is sporting a halo above his fine mop of blond hair. " Don't do it!" "The shopkeep is only 19, he will piss himself and be scarred for life at the sight of your gun!" In an instant, another small fellow pop's up on my left shoulder, he is mainly red and has curious little horns on the top of his head, and a rather menacing pitch fork in his hand Could this be both side's of my conscience or is it that coke i accidentally ingested earlier? " Go on do it!, the guy is used to being robbed, another gun in his face is not going to make any difference, one more maybe he will give up and join you!" I bet you can't guess what i decided! |
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| Reply by: FlyingWig at Feb 03, '08 18:54 | |
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SuperSao stands around listening to all his peers talking of their encounters with the supernatural. Actually I have talked to the devil. He's quite a nice guy. I too had to sell my soul but the things he promised me sure are working out. he told me that i was going to be the best super hero ever. So far he's right, who else is better than the Super Sao. Oh well. Anyway, the devil actually came to me in the middle of the day. He said it's rare to catch him out that early, but he just got out from a friends house where he was drinking and hadn't been to bed yet so he decided to make an early business stop. I have his phone number if you'd like to call him? |
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| Reply by: SuperSao at Feb 03, '08 19:23 | |
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| I actually play golf with Satan, he's a decent enough guy. I just don't let him have the scorecard. One time, after I had beaten him in 18 holes, he challenged me to a fiddle contest. I got a solid gold violin if I won, he got my soul if I lost. Of course, I didn't take the bet. "Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh about 500 pounds and sound like crap?" He got mad and left. | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 03, '08 19:24 | |
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I've never spoken with the devil personally; however, I was talking to my lawyer one day, as we were trying to avoid some jail time, and the devil appeared, and this conversation soon followed. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." My lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked. |
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| Reply by: Mr_Obvious at Feb 04, '08 00:14 | |
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| I've never met Satan. I did talk to God once, though. Met him on the subway. He told me the meaning of Life. Then, He gave me a cookie. | |
| Reply by: Malcolm_Reynolds at Feb 04, '08 00:21 | |
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I just looked at my right palm. Some would call it "Madame Cinq Doigts". First, I said to myself, something was wrong. I smelled it. The smell of the sulfur was not strong enough, and I wondered why... Then I realised I couldn't smell, because the odor of those rotten corpses I dwelved with in the cemetaries of the cities ruined all my smelling abilities. Or taste. And then, I told to myself, why should I pay so much attention to the details? The answer is simple: we all lie in details... Now let me hug you, so you can feel the smell... |
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| Reply by: Seven7 at Aug 28, '14 03:29 | |
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