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| 60 seconds of fame... | Started by: SingWhenYoureWinning on Sep 23, '07 23:14 |
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It is time for SingWhenYoureWinning to Stimulate>/me> your mind with this HappyMod tale. It is about young man named StripheCorelli, his good friend Gatsby and his favourite sidekick pet DiscoDuck. It all started one Sonny afternoon in spring. StripheCorelli and his friends were on a college trip to Manila that The_Mathmatician had arranged. It was to learn about the great Exodus that was caused by Madmaxmillionz, Kontessa and the evil overlord, WebSpider. A task had been set by the Ginger- haired teacher to find a series of clues, all linked to the takeover. BrunoD and MrYayo, Striphe's arch nemisis' had already snuck off from the back of the group to play RidgeRacer. This made TheMathmatician a really Angryman. He promised that upon their return they would be going to see the head mistress Marie for a severe caning. Suddenly, out of nowhere lurzan swung down from the trees and grabbed Striphe's favourite pet DiscoDuck. He made a vow to send the dancing duck back to his own people, to his own planet of Neptune and with a swish of his cape... awaaaaaaaaaay he went! Been a while since I tried that... :p WebSpider | Kontessa | MrYayo | The_Mathmatician | Manila | lurzan | Sonny | Gatsby | BrunoD | DiscoDuck | HappyMod | Exodus | Marie | Angryman | Ginger- | SingWhenYoureWinning | Madmaximillionz | Stimulate | Neptune | StripheCorelli | HeyHeyHeyGoodbye |RidgeRacer |
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| It's been so long that I even missed someone off. HeyHeyHyeGoodbye... sorry :p | |
| Reply by: SingWhenYoureWinning at Sep 23, '07 23:26 | |
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Thats still great tho, Keep that stuff coming made me laugh. Vanishes into thin air. |
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| Reply by: Tank-Mage at Sep 24, '07 09:19 | |
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| It would be nice if someone else had a go at this. It's tough, but you'll find it fun. | |
| Reply by: SingWhenYoureWinning at Sep 24, '07 11:32 | |
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I decided to take a wack at it. Turned out to be insanely fun, and I rather turned mine into a bit of a novel. I hope at least someone reads it and enjoys it! I feel duty bound, folks, to tell you a tale that has been passed down in my family for generations. A story so powerful that some of my more mentally ill-adjusted ancestors, like my Grandpa Xavier, swear it came straight out of the bible (like from the Old Testament... probably the book of Exodus, or something like that... those relatives were crazy at any rate). It spoke of a man called BrianArao: a hard-core, rough-exterior cop with a heart of gold. Born and raised in the small town of Colton, from the earliest ages this man wanted nothing more than to be a hero- much like his animated movie idol Buzz-Lightyear. He eventually got this wish, gaining world-renown and lots of money. And we're talking a lot of money. Ahem. Yet this story is not about how BrianArao, more affectionately called TheMoose due to his size and girth, came to be the amazing cop he was. No, this is a tale of something else entirely. ...Trust me: it's much more exciting than it sounds. A long, long time ago- though definitely after the days of KingArthur... maybe it was just last Tuesday, actually- BA and his faithful, ex-beauty salon owner side-kick tina- had decided to take a late summer vacation to Fiji. Now dear Brian had decided that this would be his chance to finally tell tina- how he felt about her. He had been besotted with the woman, who had eyes so ocean blue, she was said to be a descendent of the Roman God Neptune himself (the God of the Sea, dontcha know?), ever since the previous winter and the horrid fire at the Gorgoroth orphanage. That's another tale though, that really doesn't have anything to do with... anything. Don't get me side-tracked. After spending the entire spring together, hunting down Freddy_Four_Fingers and his evil band of zombie_wolf beings, some relaxing was in order for Sir Arao and his stunning companion (who was mourning the loss of her brother Wil-Castellano, whom she lost to said zombie wolves). "This was a perfect idea," tina- remarked happily from behind her designer PauloDiBurdeno sunglasses as they checked into a lavish hotel called the Olybrius, tugging slightly at the hot-pink leash she held in her hand. A small yelp could be heard from her loveable Labrador pooch, Maggie as she tugged once more. "Here you are, Sir," said the pleasant woman behind the desk, pulling BA's attention away from tina- and her dog. With a large smile she handed over the room card. "My name is -Skylar-, be sure to ask me if you need anything at all. My assistant Jay_C will be along shortly to help you with your bags." So far, things were looking more promising than they had in the more recent months. They got to their rooms, yadda yadda yadda, took a nap, blah blah blah. All this is... well, really irrelevant. Fast-forward to that very evening, when BrianArao and tina- decided to meet at the local bar, the "feverstoner" for drinks. The only noise in the dimly-lit room that very evening was nothing but the low rumble of other patrons talking and the bouncer BrunoD chuckling at some joke the bartender JackDrucci was telling. Maggie the puppy was sadly tied up, outside lapping bottled water from a white, porcelain bowl under the watchful eye of Yuri-Orlov, the local old-guy who sat in a rocking-chair all day mumbling to himself for some reason- leaving Mr. Arao and his lovely friend all to themselves. Alright, Brian thought as he took another sip of his Sea Breeze, sneakily taking a sniff at his armpit to make sure his Bodman deodorant was working, I'm going to tell her. Tonight. No ifs, ands or buts. Ha... butts... Nick, the local disc-jockey, slowly switched his stereo system over to the newest song by the band Kreed, (oh, my apologies, 'Creed'), a rather empowered rock ballad entitled "SingWhenYoureWinning". Everything was quite serene. Little did our two heroic crime fighters know, however, that hiding behind the Fake_Plastic_Trees a group of diabolical mobsters were planning the very deaths of the stars of our tale. Villains so evil they made Satan himself shudder at the mere mention of them. Tad_O'Connor, Danny-Dyer and Ginger-, known to most as the three power-houses behind the "Irritable Irish Mafia", sat in waiting, talking amongst themselves. "We'll get them," proclaimed Tad, the seeming leader of the 'gang'. "We will avenge our brother WebSpider, whom those retched do-gooders put in jail last year for stealing computers from the local schools. We'll make that crime-fighting Suited-Menace pay! Start phase one, immediately!" "Alright boss!" echoed Danny, also known as Big_D. And with that back-plot filling semi-speech over, the three fled out the front door into the night. Back at the table, and quite some time later, BrianArao had started to nervously clear his throat, trying desperately to gain the eye-contact of tina-. When finally he mustered up enough courage to say something to the woman, the waitress Adalina sauntered over, smiling broadly. "Another round of drinks?" she asked the two. "Naw, I'm getting rather tired," replied tina-, much to BA's dismay. "I'm going to get going." "Well, uh," said BrianArao, standing up from the table rather quickly, "Let me walk you back to your room." The two paid for their drinks and walked outside in a comfortable silence. "Maggie," tina- whistled upon exiting the bar. There was a slight chill in the air- no noise was to be heard. Something was wrong- and both of our heroes could sense it. They weren't stupid. No really, they weren't. Maggie lay some feet away, completely still, her white water dish turned over on it's side. "Maggie?" tina- asked cautiously as she approached her pet. "Holy Shinobi! BA, Maggie is dead!" the woman shrieked, pressing her hands to her face in horror. After quickly and expertly examining the scene, our brilliant cop BA declared, "She was poisoned!" After much investigation, questioning of the patrons, and a few more Sea Breezes on the house, Antonio, the owner of the bar finally related to our heroes that yes, there were some suspicious characters floating around. "In fact," said Antonio, pulling from his back pocket a crumpled white piece of paper and handing it over to BrianArao, "I found this not too long ago. I guess it makes more sense now... you know, your dog turning up dead and all." To this, tina- burst into very loud and unbecoming sobs. With a furrowed brow BA read the message twice. Upon the paper, hastily scrawled, were the words, 'Dat dog is deader den a doorknob. Meet us in yer room at ten o'clock if youse want to find out who we are. Love, Otho, Gero and Mont. But those aren't our real names. Those are aliases'. Taking a quick glance at his watch told him it was well past midnight, and with a shrug he took a look at tina- and the rest of the bar patrons, who were waiting with baited breath. "It's later than they expected us, and they may have a JonnySniper waiting for us, but it's worth the risk to find out who was behind this. Let's go, tina-!" He quickly turned on his heel, leaving the locals to deal with the dead dog. Confused, the woman followed, wondering exactly what a JonnySniper was. Cut scene: back at BrianArao's hotel room. Slowly our hero used his keycard to unlock the door, drawing from his pocket his steel caliber Tank-Mage. "tina-, this may get ugly," he whispered as he pushed the door open wildly. "REVEAL YOURSELVES!" he screamed, pointing his gun in several different directions. The room was empty. "Oh. Perhaps they meant your room?" BrianArao remarked to his companion as they turned and traveled across the hall. tina- slowly unlocked the door with her keycard, and one the silent count of three they burst the door open. Immediately tina- dove to the floor shrieking and BrianArao let free a fury of bullets into the room. Suddenly- Well, actually, know one really knows what happened. That's usually the part of the story where my crazed relative falls asleep. I assume they all died and BA never got to confess his true love, because I'm morbid like that. You can make up your own ending at will. BrianArao | WebSpider | Jay_C | Yuri-Orlov | Antonio | Nick | -Skylar- | Kreed | Otho | Gero | Fiji | Danny-Dyer | Mont | KingArthur | Shinobi | Tad_O`Connor | BrunoD | Suited-Menace | Freddy_Four_Fingers | TheMoose | Adalina | Exodus | Ginger- | Maggie | Tank-Mage | Buzz-Lightyear | SingWhenYoureWinning | JonnySniper | Neptune | Big_D | Olybrius | zombie_wolf | Bodman | tina- | PauloDiBurdeno | Satan | JackDrucci | Fake_Plastic_Trees | Colton | Xavier | Wil-Castellano | Gorgoroth | feverstoner |
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| Reply by: Maggie at Sep 24, '07 14:16 | |
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lmfao, very well done! I'm impressed that you managed to do it and even more impressed on the length of it lol. |
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| Reply by: SingWhenYoureWinning at Sep 24, '07 17:45 | |
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This is a story about a stripper named "Evil_Hot_Bunny". EHB just finished the night at the "Shasta Wopajo", and made a cool $1,000. The night had been pretty normal, she only dealt with on upset customer all night. Mr. "Angryman" she called him in her head, had ruined her favorite set of heels. He was getting a bit frisky and swiped at her feet on stage, well all he managed to do was rip of the heel of her new $250 "HighInch" Nike heels. The bouncer "TheProfessional Homie" made short work of Mr. Angryman. He picked him up, gave him a complimentary beer bottle to the head, and showed him the door. After she arrived at the bus stop, she realized that her legs were killing her, she found this odd as they weren't hurting on the way to the bus stop. She figured it had something to do with the "Pardox" that standing is more tiring than walking. As she waited for the bus at the corner of "Madison" and "Kreed", she met an interesting fellow named "Mr_Krank". It turned out that Mr. Krank was "The_Mathmatician" that proved women were evil. Krank showed her the equation: Women require time and money; women = time x money .... and as we all know time is money time=money. So we have women = money x money = money^2. And we also know that money is the root of all evils so money = sq rt (evil). Women = sq rt (evil)^2 meaning women = evil. Even though this "Rhett"oric made sense this infuriated her. She knew what she had to do. After arriving home, she went to use the phone to call "The_Fixer_". She knew he'd take care of this cocky "Talented" Mr. Krank. She picked up the phone, with no dial tone; she cursed at the faulty phone. Why oh why did she buy the off brand "Telemachus", she should've spent the extra $5 on the AT&T phone. EHB went next door to borrow the neighbors phone. "Maggie" saw EHB approaching and let her in. They exchanged pleasantries, Maggie went on about how she walked in on her husband "TomCohen" having an affair with his secretary "Kontessa". He never thought his wife would catch him at the office, but it really shouldn't have surprised him as he worked from home. EHB finally was able to call The Fixer, and set up an appointment for later that day. As she left she said "Tank-Mage", she had really meant to say Thanks Maggie, but unfortunately she had just taken a bite of a random peanut butter sandwich. She went home and fell fast asleep. After waking up around 1:00 pm, she knew she had to hurry as she had to do today. She had a haircut at "-Clipper"s at 3, a doctor's appointment with "Dr_Premeir" at 4, to make sure the warts wouldn't be coming back, and The Fixer at 7. At her hair appointment her stylist "Antonio" talked about all the gossip in the tabloids. Apparently Mr. 47, Harvey Birdman, and "BrunoD" were involved in some sick love triangle. Antonio did a great job as always, and she left in a hurry to make her 4 o'clock. In the street, she ran into "Tad_O'Connor" a soothsayer that said "Beware the ides of march". EHB replied "It's April idiota." TOC said, "Well, Beware of the "WebSpider" deary." EHB didn't know what that meant but as she turned around she walked into a huge spiderweb, she freaked out at first, but then realized it was really just a minor nuisance as she wasn't a fly. She made it to the doctor's office right at 3:59. Dr. Premeir had her take a seat, and asked about her sexual history. She started naming names, and mentioned "IL_Duce". The doctor asked her, "You've been having an ill deuce? And handed her a bottle of Pepto. "That should get things back to normal for you." She was going to correct the doctor but just gave up, as he started rambling onto something else. She got her penicillin and left. She finally met The Fixer, and he already had the plan made up, they would split into two "Tribes". The "Stimulate" tribe would consist of EHB and "StripheCorelli" and the "dmndirtyapes" tribe would consist of The Fixer and "Cam_-Bit". Cam_-Bit was upset hearing he was in this tribe, he said it didn't make sense. The Fixer said "Well, the extra - in your name doesn't make sense either, but you don't hear me complaining do you?" CB was quiet from there on out. The plan worked perfectly the stimulate tribe lured Mr. Krank to the rendezvous point "MonteCarlo717" buy leading a trail of flash cards to that spot. The dmndirtyapes squad was there waiting at MonteCarlo717, with enough ammunition to wipe out a small army. Sure enough as Mr. Krank got to the last flash card he read "2x2=?" and The Fixer answered "Bang!" They proceeded to blow him to smitherines. Unfortunately this story has no moral to it, other than don't try to impress strippers with math, I suppose. WebSpider | Antonio | Kontessa | Kreed | Cam_-Bit | Rhett | The_Mathmatician | Paradox | Tad_O`Connor | BrunoD | Angryman | HighInch | Maggie | Tank-Mage | -Clipper | Madison | Stimulate | StripheCorelli | Homie | Telemachus | dmndirtyapes | Dr_Premeir | The_Fixer_ | Talented | IL_Duce | TomCohen | Montecarlo717 | Shasta | Evil_Hot_Bunny | Wopajo | TheProfessional | Mr_Krank | Tribes Generated in 0.233 seconds—8 MySQL queries. |
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| Reply by: dmndirtyapes at Sep 27, '07 00:17 | |
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| my father was the fixer and was honored to be the killer in the story .. yay for my family line | |
| Reply by: Rinaldi_Manovanni at Sep 27, '07 00:38 | |
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! You can cure me with Pepto :P |
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| Reply by: IL_Duce at Sep 27, '07 02:04 | |
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