There was no way of knowing what time of day it was, or was supposed to be. The light shining into the little apartment was so bright, it almost gave everything a sort of ethereal glow. 

At the stove, a blonde ponytail swung cheerfully as a familiar voice hummed a snappy tune. The red checkered apron was almost wrapped around her small figure twice. A dish towel lay over one shoulder. A pancake flew into the air, flipped, and landed right back on the pan. 

"Ha! Got it that time!" 

Kenzi grinned proudly and turned the lady pancake onto a waiting stack. She lifted the plate and brought it to the table where her big brother sat, a glass of orange juice  and cup of coffee near by. She placed the plate of perfect pancakes in front of him and gave a little flourish of the hands. 

"Voi la! Just like you used to make them."

Taking the towel from her shoulder, she tossed it over the back of a chair. On her way to sit down, she passed Billy's wheelchair and mussed his hair teasingly. 

"I like the gray. It suites you."

Billy shook his head and fixed his hair.

"I hate it. Makes me feel old. Damned chair too. What the hell happened? You're still young and beautiful!" He sniffed at the pancakes and couldn't help but to dig in then.

"These are delicious Kenzi, you remembered the vanilla." he winked at her as he poured syrup on them.

"I know this is a dream you know, but it feels real, and I don't want to wake up. Then again, I still can't feel my legs and make them walk, so I don't know how much of a dream it really is right?" He shrugged.

Giving him a playful scowl, Kenzi sat back in her seat. 

"Of course I remembered the vanilla. And the same fancy French brand you always insisted on using."

The scowl melted into a contented smile. 

"And you don't look old. You look distinguished. There's a difference." 

It had been decades since the last time Billy and Kenzi had seen each other. That horrible night lay far in the recesses of mortal memory. Lifetimes had passed for Billy since then. 

Momentarily ignoring the comment about still having no use of his legs, Kenzi  pulled the band from her hair and let it fall down to her back. 

"You've been due a visit from someone for a while now, but these things take time to arrange. Most living people think the dead have nothing to do but float around the afterlife, but it's actually a pretty busy place. Especially for guardians."

She watched Billy enjoying the pancakes. 

​​​​​​"I've enjoyed watching you grow up, big brother. No one has a heart like you."

​​​​​​

Billy stops eating and puts down the fork.

"Hold on a second." He wipes his face with a napkin. "What do you mean guardians? And seriously, there's no way you've been watching me. I lived in the woods for fifteen years. That had to have been boring to watch." He chuckled but then leaned forward.

"You watch the kids grow up though? You know Brigitte reminds me of you a bit, the blonde curls, the always happy outlook. I'd never let her get a motorcycle though." His face fell as he shook his head.

"You know, I always blamed myself to a degree for that right? If I hadn't gotten shot, you wouldn't have been out so late. If you had just stayed, you wouldn't have been out. I know it wasn't really my fault, but there's only so much you can do before it circles back to blaming yourself again, at least a little bit."

He sighed and reached out to touch Kenzi's hand.

Kenzi lifted an eyebrow exaggeratedly. 

"Sure didn't sound boring."

She smirked and then continued. 

"I have watched everything, Billy. That's my job."

Kenzi took Billy's hand as he reached for hers. 

"There was no reason for you to blame yourself. What happened...had to happen. My purpose wasn't on earth, as it turns out. My purpose was you."

The befuddled look on his face made her giggle, so she dropped the cryptic babble. 

"I'm your guardian. Not an angel - not yet, anyway - but it's a lot like people think. I have no control over your fate as a whole, but I have the opportunity to nudge things in a particular direction. Remember when you got shot dicing? How the bullet just barely missed that major artery? The shooter was pretty good, but a mosquito bugged him just before he shot. His aim was off."

​​​​​​She shrugged. 

​​​​​​"Oh, and when you and Tegs were in Italy, that cat that seemed to be following you around?" 

Kenzi grinned. 

Billy jaw dropped. He could not believe what he was hearing, this was a hell of a dream.

"Ok, well, um. Thanks? I guess? Does that mean you know I've got another little girl coming too!?" The excitement in his voice was palpable.

Kenzi nodded, her grin matching the excitement he exuded. 

"Yep! You're a very lucky man, Billy."

She leaned up, resting her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. 

"I know it may not seem that way right now, but believe me, everything has a purpose. The thing about life is that there's a balance that humans can't see most of the time. It's give and take, stop and go...lose and gain. You thought you lost me, but in losing a sister on earth you gained a guardian that could do a hell of a lot more to help you. You think you just lost the use of your legs. You think it makes you somehow different than big Billy Mastrosimone; and if you're stuck on what you lost, you are going to miss what you have gained."

Billy cocked his head to the side.

"Are you trying to tell me that I would not have gotten to keep my baby if I wasn't willing to give up my legs? I thought God was just trying to tell me I needed to slow down for a while. I thought maybe..." He sighed the sigh of a man who was not quite broken, but was slowly being chipped away at. "I thought that maybe once I learned the less He wanted to teach me, that I might walk again."

"No, you goose! That's way too dark. The balance is situationally related. Like...ok, you are at a bus stop, and you see an starving kid. You open your wallet and all you've got is a fifty dollar bill. You think that's an awful lot - you just wanted to give him a five or a couple of singles; but you can't stand to see a starving child. You give him the 50 bucks. You think you lost fifty bucks, but the kid gained a few meals. You nailed it, though, with the lesson. The universe has literally told you to sit down, take it easy, and use what you've learned to help other people make their own way."

She cut her eyes to one side, then another, then lowered her voice slightly. 

​​​​​​"You might have lost the use of your legs, but you gained quite a number of years that would have been stolen away by a stroke  while on a business trip to the Napa Valley, which would have left you speechless, unable to do anything for yourself, and unable to to do anything at all but watch life go by without you."

Kenzi sat back again. 

​​​​​​"I wasn't supposed to tell you that, but I think you can handle it."

Billy just nodded slowly.

"That's kinda creepy that you know that."

He looked to the pancakes then.

"Is any of this real, or is it seriously just a dream?"

"Everything is what you make of it. There are a hundred ways I could have come to you, but I know you will enough to know that a face - to - face over pancakes would make the most impact. Clearly, I couldn't have just shown up for breakfast. Well, I could have, but it's frowned upon."

Kenzi sighed a little. 

​​​​​​"I miss you, Billy. Tegs, too. Even though I keep an eye on you, it's not the same as getting to be there. I was pretty mad at first. I felt like I got cheated out of everything - a wedding, a happy life, a family of my own. But I've made peace with that since I learned how things work on the other side. I know now that my purpose was different."

What seemed like a normal, in-the-flesh visage of the young girl suddenly faded slightly, becoming slightly transparent. 

​​​​​​"Damn it. I have to go soon. It's there anything else you want to know?" 

Billy watched as Kenzi faded in front of his eyes. He couldn't help but wipe at his face as it began to betray him completely.

"Are you gonna come back?" He barely was holding his voice together. He didn't realize just how much he missed his sisters until just now.

Kenzi rose from her chair and appeared beside his. She smiled so sweetly, her sparkling blue eyes just as bright as ever. 

"I'll always be around. Always have been, and I don't plan on stopping now. You've got a lot of life and love left in your years. Just don't get too caught up in what you think you lose, ok?" 

She wrapped him in a big hug, squeezing as tightly as she could so he knew it was real. 

​​​​​​"And think of me when you're eating pancakes. Oh, and teach Brigitte how to play chess. She's a natural."

Kenzi's form blinked and faded again. 

"I love you, big brother."

For a split second Billy knew he could feel Kenzi's breath on his neck and feel her tiny heartbeat as he held her. And then just as fast, it was gone.

"I love you too kiddo. I miss you." He did not wake as quickly as he wanted to. This dream had turned into a nightmare, and in his dream, he managed to kick the table, forcing himself to wake with a start. He hadn't remembered what that felt like for weeks. And suddenly he could remember what pain in his foot felt like.

"Not what you lose." He nodded and closed his eyes again, hoping to go back to the dream.

Billy, huh?  Long time since I heard of him.

Anyone know where his kin can be found?