Hold the brine! Did my ink-sacs malfunction? Capo? Me? The charismatic starfish of the crime world? ASimpleCivilian has apparently seen something in me that even I haven't discovered yet. Who knew that my slick-talking encounters and ink-flavored smoothies would earn me such a squidtastic promotion?

But wait... Is this some sort of prank? Did he actually mean to promote someone else, and my name just got scribbled in by fault? Like a happy accident? Cue the underwater fanfare! Time for a nervous, but jolly tentacle tap-dance on this cobblestone road.

Maybe I'm the real deal? A true calamari kingpin in the making. But, but managing a gang of rugged sharks and sneaky eels might be way beyond my inkling capabilities. Better check the message again..

Damn it, my eyes are going all wide and watery. I can picture it now, I really can, me wearing a sharp fedora, trying to boss around the thuggish swordfish whilst trying not to trip over my own tentacles.

"Hey, you! Yeah, you with the sharp nose! Stop that salty mischief right now!"

Hopefully, this can be my moment to shine!Or, at least attempt to shine, maybe just glow, a little. Considering I'm so far from the ocean, I really am deep in. Who knew, huh? Maybe me being a Capo isn't so outlandish after all.

Ian saw his old aquatic associate waving his many limbs about in the street and walked over to see what he was spouting. Smiling at the slippery new Capo, he4 shook one of his many tentacles.

"Well done Squid. ASimpleCivilian knows his onions... and his sea life. He clearly seas you turning into the kind of wet asset I had a feeling you might, back when you skulled up to my HQ. You may have thought you'd end up as Wise Guy Calamari, but no, here you float, emboldened and made and more. Good work!"