2 AM - City 

Hello there, fine folks of this world. I am going to sell myself on not only my skills but also my downsides, because if there's one thing that I come with - is many downsides. First of all though, you may be asking yourself, who comes out into the streets this late at night and begins a random conversation on the side of the street? You may also be asking yourself, where's your beautiful house? How did I get here? Well let me answer all of these questions and more:

It all starts on a rainy day in the city of New Orleans, my father was a jazz playing saxophonist and my mother was a milkman, the first lady milkman in the business. She broke barriers. She also broke a lot of milk bottles, but it wasn't because she was a woman and I will kill anyone that brings that sorta sexist attitude around me, which is one of my many qualities: I am not a sexist, and its 1950 or whatever so that's a pretty big accomplishment.

So, wait, what does that have to do with anything? I don't know. Can I catch an invite?

He puts on his glasses to really complete the look of man who deserves to be a family, and he waits there on that stoop. He may be waiting a really, really long time... or will he?!

You don't want to be staying in the past for too long as you will miss what is happening in the future. It is 07.33am and not 2am . . .

You can always have an invite from me but I will double check with the person who deals with the applications first though as I am pretty sure we have a section where you must tick Rayvan, I mean Rayban or Oakleys.

Normally the people who wear Oakleys don't last too long but we could keep you safe, especially if those glasses are fake!

Say hi to your mother for me, she always looked after me when she delivered milk to my house. I was usually last on her round and she always left with a smile on her face.

Well, I invited you. I have you now. You're all mine. I will cherish you and praise you and hold you and treat you tenderly. Every minute, I will attend to your needs and wants and make you feel loved and cared for and you will have such a great time and it'll be so much fun and there will be activities for us to do, so many activities and things to keep us occupied and satisfied and there will be balloons, a lot of them, all different colors and there will be candy and snacks and ice cream and sprinkles and there might be boardgames too, we can play them all, and there will be card games and other things like we can play tag or manhunt or something and look for each other and then we can read spooky stories to each other and hold a flashlight to our faces and make it look extra scary or we can make shadow puppets on the wall using our hands and there will be great times ahead.