The Lake Mead house had been cleared quickly within 24 hours of the phone call being made. Paul and his assistant packed the Blade and Bullet's inventory and put it into temporary storage, and the display cases were removed and stored as well. Before leaving for his impromptu paid vacation, he left a note with an urgent reminder to skip steps 3, 6, and 9 when using the staircase. At the bottom, he wrote down a phone number to call should someone have the misfortune to forget.

Some living room furniture was brought in, including two couches, several chairs, and a desk. Additionally, at Dr. Mitchell's direction, a single bed was brought for the living room so traversing the stairs wouldn't be necessary for Amira.

The plan sounded simple on paper. Take her to the house in Nevada for a few days and keep her there until the librium was out of her system, then start her on something better and then bring her home to LA a whole new woman. Still, as the two vehicles made their way up the winding road toward Crescent Cove, everyone on the team knew the task at hand wouldn't come close to easy. Everyone, that was, except Amira; who stared out the back passenger window of the car, whispering some inaudible phrase that she'd been repeating for several miles. 

The lead van held four men of Amira's detail who would serve as rotating perimeter detail during the stay, plus the gear. The second car was the core team; including Spencer McGregor, Dr. Garrett Mitchell, and Tyki Mikk's lead Security man, Franco, who was on loan for this assignment specifically because of the friendship he and Amira had forged after Corrado's death. When Dr. Mitchell had requested a third set of hands and someone that would be trusted to help with her care, Spencer had immediately recommended Franco and was not too surprised that he was granted the time and was more than willing. A nurse would be joining them as well, coming in three times daily to help with other routine matters.  

It was late afternoon by the time they arrived. Franco took Amira inside the house while Spencer gave everyone else a quick tour of the house, including the stern warning about the stairs. The three bedrooms upstairs would be shared on rotation, with everyone getting six hours of rack time every time they came off a shift. The nurse arrived shortly after that. She was a woman in her early fiftes, of medium height and solid in stature, but clearly well practiced in her profession and confident. Within minutes, she had the bed made and Amira into more comfortable clothing. Without being asked, she then began assembling the IV pole and arranging saline bottles and various medications that had been brought along. Garrett stood back a few feet and watched with amusement for a while, then decided it was best to stay out of her way and headed for the desk to make some notes.

Franco walked over to Spencer, who was standing near the front entrance.

"Hey, Spence- you think it would be alright if we took her out to see him? You know, out by the lake?"

Spencer blinked a few times, then looked back at Amira, who was pacing back and forth in the living room area and talking as if she were having an argument with someone.

"Maybe. Best ask the Doc, though. Hell, I'd forgotten about that when I came up with this whole plan."

He rubbed his hand through his hair, frustrated that he'd let that detail slip his mind, and started heading toward Garrett, who had one eye o his notes and the other on Amira.

"Garrett, Franco had an idea and it made me realize something I had forgotten."

Garrett put down his pen and looked up at the two.

"Oh? What's that?"

Spencer lowered his voice a bit and sat down on the arm of the couch near Garrett.

"See that big oak there by the lake? Off in the distance? That's where Corrado Conti is buried. She hasn't been out here since the funeral."

Garrett's eyes widened with surprise and he sat straight up, following Spencer's gesture out the picture window.

"You mean her partner? The one that took the bullet for her?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

Spencer nodded.

"Yeah. This was his place. Amira bought it after he died."

Franco spoke up next.

"I thought maybe we could take her out there. Maybe she'd recognize the place. Maybe it might calm her down like."

Garrett pondered that for a few moments, then shrugged.

"Can't hurt to try, really. I can't do much until everything is unpacked, and it looks like she's just getting agitated. Maybe a change of scenery could help."

A few minutes later, Garrett, Franco, and Spencer were standing in a loose semi-circle a few feet away from the base of the oak tree near the lake. Amira stood not far away, facing the water, as still as stone save for the breeze that blew strands of hair over her face. The marble headstone with Corrado Conti's name carved into it was beside her, and the sun was starting to settle across the lake. 

"I haven't seen her stay this still this long in weeks." Spencer whispered to Garrett.

"Hard to say what could be going on in there. She may recognize it- she may not. Either way, we should stay close. It's been nearly 24 hours since her last dose of the librium, and the withdrawal symptoms will set in soon."

Cool air moving across her face was different from the still, ambient temperature she knew every day. The sound of watter lapping gently somewhere below her was not the sound of footsteps in some hallway nearby, or any number of voices in a room or in her head. She knew this place. This place was in her memory; in her soul somehow. 

"That wasn't bad for your first time shooting. With a little more practice, you might actually hit the target rather than the thing the target is sitting on."

Corrado flashed Amira that troublemaking smile, and she returned a playful scowl and reached for the bottle of wine sitting in the grass between them.

"I know I am the one that asked you to teach me how to shoot, but I have to admit that I think I like the blades much better. They are not as loud."

She took a drink from the bottle. Amira was developing a taste for wine after all. Her first drink had been a rather unpleasant experience, but Corrado had managed to help guide her palate to something she found more pleasing. 

"Tell me again- what was that small one called? The one that is curved?"

"A karambit. Filipino in origin, I believe. It's excellent for concealment, and when used properly can kill a man before it's even seen."

Amira looked out over the water, thinking about everything she'd learned in the last few days.

"There is so much to learn. So many things I never thought I would need to know. Things I never kenw there were to know."

She shrugged and passed Corrado the bottle with a small smile.

"But you were right about the sunsets here. They are magnificent."

Corrado watched Amira as she took in the gold and red colors as they melted into the lake. She looked so much like her mother it physically pulled at his heart.

"Well, you're always welcome here- for the training and the sunsets."

She could hear his voice loudest over all the others in her head. It was as if he were standing right beside her. So much so that Amira looked up, startled, trying to see where he was. She saw the lake, and the sunset. It wasn't a dream? She was there? Amira looked down. There was the shore, and the water. Her heart beat hard and fast. If she heard him, and she was there- he must be there. Right? She looked around again, but moving so fast made her stomach turn. 

"He's here-" she managed, looking back over her shoulder briefly. 

"Find him. Before he disappears again. Before he's gone again." The other voices began growing louder. Amira shook her head rapidly and looked back at the house, then at the lake again. Her head was spinning, and her stomach wanted to throw up everythying within her- but she had to try. It was the only thing that would make the voices quiet now. And the only way she'd see Corrado again. Beacuse she heard him- hadn't she? That means he was really there- wasn't he?

Spencer looked up just in time to see Amira take a stumbling step forward. He grabbed Franco's arm and both men took three fast steps to reach her just as she sank to her knees at the edge of the water and vomited. Garrett was just a step behind and held back her hair.

"This is how it starts. Nausea and sickness is almost always the first of it. Best get her inside and on the fluids. I am really hoping the saline will help flush her system more quickly, but only time will tell."

Ten minutes later, Nurse McKay had shooed all three gentlemen out of the living room and was busy making Amira comfortable. So, they all stood in the kitchen around a pot of coffee that was percolating. Franco was leaned against the counter, trying to balance his empty coffee mug by its edge in the palm of his hand. Spencer was staring at the floor over crossed arms, seemingly deep in thought, and Garrett was sniffing an open can of powdered creamer trying to determine whether it was usable or not. 

"So how bad does it get?" Spencer piped up.

Garrett looked up from the creamer.

"Hm? Oh- that's me. Well, it's a bit hard to say, really. Without knowing exactly how much of the stuff she'd been given; how often and for how long, the symptoms of withdrawal can vary. People who have only taken benzodiazepines for a few weeks might have a headache and feel a bit off for a few days. People who have been addicted to it for years and try to detox from it without medical intervention have died."

Garrett saw Spencer's fists tighten and quickly added

"I said 'without' medical intervention. I came prepared, remember? Look, I'll be honest. It's not going to be pretty. I would expect more of the nausea. She will likely have an awful headache for most of the time. She will most likely have periods of anxiety and panic attacks- heightened for her given her pre-existing mental condition. Those may require restraint, and you all are going to have to be alright with that and realize it's keeping her safe."

He could see both men reluctantly taking that into consideration.

"Look, nothing within the realm of normal expectations can't be handled. I've prepared for the worst. I'm well trained, and we'll have McKay nearby if needed."

As if on cue, the nurse poked her head into the kitchen.

"She's asleep, for now, and the IV line is in."

"Thank you, Ms. McKay." Garrett turned back to the other two. "Listen, I know I'm the new guy, and that I've talked to Ms. Dayan for a total of maybe fifteen minutes; but I can see that she's more than a job to you, and to her boss. Frankly, from what I've heard, I hope I get the chance to learn for myself what everyone else seems to know. So I'm going to do everything I can- for her and for all of you, alright?"

The coffee pot began to spit drops of coffee over the top, making tiny sizzling noises. Franco nodded once, then turned to take it off the heating element. Spencer eyed Garrett for a few seconds, then stood up.

"You better. Otherwise I'm sending you into the next meeting with Mr. Tyki."

Both men chuckled quietly behind Franco's back.

Saturday

"Hey, Spence- breakfast."

Spencer jumped awake when he felt something land on his lap, and quickly sat up from the semi-reclined position he'd taken on the couch some unknown number of hours ago. Franco had dropped a newspaper onto his lap, and he moved it aside and rubbed his eyes roughly before looking over at Amira. She lay on her side on the bed, only the sheet at her waist, and her dark hair stuck to her face with sweat. There was a small desk fan pointed at her.

"Jesus, she's burning up."

Garrett was sitting at the desk with his feet propped up on the end of the other couch, looking half asleep himself.

"Been running a fever since four this morning. Not unusual. I've got her on acetaminophen, and the fluids should help."

He sniffed the air and opened one eye.

"Is that bacon?"

Franco's deep bass echoed from the kitchen rather jovially. 

"Somebody did some grocery shopping before we got here. This place is stocked. We coulda fed the whole damn crew."

Spencer wandered into the kitchen to find Franco manning the stove as if it were an operations command post. Indeed, he had enough food cooking for everyone on the property. 

"I had no idea you were such a talented chef there, Franco."

The large man scoffed a laugh. 

"I damn well better be, or they would have tossed me overboard. That was my job in the Navy."

Spencer turned his head with surprise, having poured himself a cup of coffee.

"No shit? You were a Squid?"

Franco laughed and flipped a fried egg in a frying pan.

"Potato Operator First Class, Sir."

Nodding, Spencer held up his mug.

"That explains why the coffee is so good. Navy knows how to do coffee."

Garrett made his way in at that point and yawned. Franco took a plate from a cupboard above and started scooping food onto it.

"Eat up, Doc. You look like you could use some chow and some rack time."

"Not going to get any argument from me."

"Make it stop...make it stop. Please...please make it stop...."

In her mind, all of the voices were either whispering or screaming the same thing; and all it was doing was making the headache worse. It felt like some kind of heavy balloon made of lead was taking up the space in her skull, and trying to grow even larger to force its way out. If she could sleep, she wasn't aware of it; but if she woke up, the pain kept her from going back to sleep again. 

The voices grew louder still. Amira moaned and stirred, waking from what was already a fitful sleep. Her own voice joined the ones in her mind.

"Make it stop- please. Please...it hurts...."

She pressed her hands against her head, as if trying to keep her skull from bursting open; but there was no way her mere fingers could do that. The pressure was too great. How could she stop it? The voices were screaming now. There was too much pain, too much pressure. Nothing was stopping it, nothing  making it go away like before. Opening her eyes, the light was too bright. All Amira could see was dark figures she couldn't recognize against the light that hurt her eyes. Who were they? Could they hear her? Would they hear her? Or...were they hurting her? She couldn't see. How could she know?

Fear began to take hold now. She couldn't see clearly; all she could feel was a searing pain in her head and all she could hear was the screaming in her mind. She began to tremble. Couldn't someone help her? Hear her?

"Help...me...please..."

Within moments, she felt arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly. She couldn't move.

No, that's not what I meant- my head...

Someone took her hand. She began trembling harder as the voices in her head were going mad, howling that she was in danger; but there was nothing she could do about it because she couldn't move and she couldn't see, and she couldn't seem to do anything but make pointless groans.

Then, from somewhere near her elbow, there was an icy rush. Now what? Amira shivered, then blinked a few times; and before she realized the voices were gone-

blackness.

Garrett watched, and didn't move until he saw Amira's form go slack against Spencer. Her breathing slowed to normal, and her eyes slowly closed as her head rolled to one side. 

"Don't put her down yet."

Reaching up, Garrett took a pulse from Amira's carotid artery, then nodded.

"Alright, it's fine."

With that, he stood and helped Spencer move her back down to lay partially inclined on the bed, checking to make sure the IV hadn't been upset in the excitement. Once she was settled, they walked out the front door into the afternoon air. Neither said much for a while. Garrett could see his friend fighting the urge to reach for a pack of cigarettes. 

"That really wasn't bad, you know. She had a panic attack- most likely from the headache and not realizing where she was. She was trying to talk, she had tremors- she was in there, Spence; she's just fighting a lot of things at once."

Spencer didn't respond right away, but stared out at the lake with his hands in his pockets for a while.

"I've seen her fight and hold her own. Just not without her blades, you know?"

Garrett leaned against one of the square concrete pillars that held up the porch.

"You'd be surprised at what the mind can do. If you think her mind is weakened because of the condition she is already dealing with, you're wrong. She's already fighting and surviving. The fact that she's not catatonic and drooling in an asylum tells us that. That's a strong woman in there. We've just got to get her out of the woods. After that, it might be a long walk back to what looks like normal, but she won't be alone."

Sunday

Two miles was barely halfway around Crescent Cove, and an easy run- even for a man of Franco's height and muscular frame. Slowing to a jog and then a walk, he found Spencer sitting on the step at the front door of the house, just finishing a cigarette. To his surprise, he could hear the muffled sound of shouting coming from inside. Franco furrowed his brow with confusion and jerked his head toward the house.

"What the hell is going on in there?"

Spencer dragged the tip of the cigarette over the pavement to snuff it out.

"Mom and Dad are fighting." he said, dryly.

"Doc and the nurse? Oh, this I gotta hear."

Franco leaned up against the column across from Spencer and stretched out his shoulders.

"So, from what I gather, McKay thought we should try to wake Amira up and try to get her to eat something. It's been, what, a good 16 hours since the last time she's been awake and without any issues? Garrett thinks it's too risky yet to have her eat just yet. McKay seemed to take issue with his opinion."

"Yeah, but he's the Doc, ain't he?"

Spencer looked up to Franco, stifling a smile.

"And I quote: 'With all due respect, Doctor Mitchell, are you an MD?'"

Franco's eyebrows jumped and his mouth dropped.

"Ohhh, she's got balls. I like her!"

A few seconds later, the front door opened and Nurse McKay walked out the door without acknowledging the two men. She went straight to her car and drove off. Spencer and Franco looked at each other for a moment, then both sputtered a laugh.

"Well, I better go shower off."

"Yeah, I'm supposed to call Mr. Tyki Mikk and report in anyway. No time like the present, I suppose."

Once inside, Franco headed upstairs. Spencer checked in on Amira, who seemed to still be sleeping fairly peacefully. Garrett was pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Spencer walked in to pick up the phone.

"Have a nice chat with--"

Garrett stared daggers at Spencer.

"I will make your death look like an accident."

Spencer chuckled and shook his head, and watched as Garrett took his cup out the front door to blow off some steam. It had been a long two and a half days for everyone already. The pressure was bound to build up eventually. Picking up the handset, he dialed the operator and gave the number for the direct line to The Firm HQ in Los Angeles. Within two rings, Vinny answered.

"Hey, Vinny, it's Spence. Yeah, calling in to report. Is Mr. Tyki Mikk there? Good, yeah I can hold."

For some reason, Spencer's palms began to sweat. It was pretty dumb, it wasn't like the man could reach through the phone and rip his throat out; but he sure gave the impression that he could. Spencer shifted his weight and stood straight, forcing himself not to pace. Then, a familiar voice came on the line.

"Spencer, what news do you have for me?"

"Good afternoon, sir. Things are going fairly well. Dr. Mitchell seems to be optimistic with the way things are going. Ami- Ms. Dayan is still coming off the librium; it's been rough but Dr. Mitchell says nothing unexpected. He thinks she'll be ready to--"

There was a sound like something crashing. Spencer stopped talking mid-sentance as he heard it, at first not registering where it was coming from, and then his brain caught up and he realized it was coming from the living room. Immediately he dropped the phone, where it clattered to  the countertop as he bolted that way. As he came around the corner, the first thing he saw was the tray of Garrett's meds and supplies overturned and scattered around the floor. Next, he saw Amira nearly falling off the bed; her body contorted and shaking in violent spams. 

"Goddamnit, GARRETT!"

He reached her and managed to get his arms under her to try and get her back onto the bed, but her whole body was stiff and hard to move at all. 

The front door opened with Garrett taking a sip of his coffee. He looked up and suddenly blanched. 

"What the--"

The coffee cup landed on the floor and Garrett flew across the room and hit the floor beside Spencer and Amira. He pulled his pen light from his shirt pocket and pulled back her eyelids; with some difficulty as she was convulsing.

"She's seizing- what the hell happened!?"

"I don't know- she was asleep when I went to call Mr. Tyki- then I heard a crash and found her like this."

"Try to get her onto her side in case she vomits."

Garrett looked around him and grabbed the first pillow he could reach.

"Put this under her head...but don't try to restrain her- just...don't let her hit anything!"

He got up and moved toward the mess of vials and things strewn across the floor. Spencer looked both helpless and frustrated.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for something!"

Garrett picked up bottles, read them, and tossed them aside one by one until he finally found what he was lookingn for- then started looking for a clean syringe. Finally, he made it back to Amira and Spencer. He found the arm her IV was in, but the line had been pulled out and was bleeding. Cursing, he moved to her other arm, which he held steady between his knees and injected something into her arm and carefully pushed in the plunger. In a few seconds that felt like forever, Amira stopped convulsing. Both Spencer and Garrett sat back, breathing heavily.

"What was that stuff?"

"Phenobarbital. It's a barbiturate- antiseizure medication and antianxiety medication. I brought it in case she had severe panic attacks. I was hoping this wouldn't be the case- but I'm glad I had it."

He sighed and started examining her for any other injuries, then the two of them got her back onto the bed.

"You should get Franco. We'll need to get her cleaned up and watch her closely for a few hours to make sure she doesn't have a second one."

Spencer stood up, noticing his hands were shaking slightly. Garrett noticed it, too.

"Steady, Spence. That...that's the worst of it. We get her around this, we're out of the woods."

Monday Evening

The first thing that Amira became aware of, before she even managed to open her eyes, was that her mouth was incredibly dry. She needed water. The next thought was realizing that her head hurt terribly, and she didn't want to open her eyes- but she would have to if she were going to get water. The bathroom wasn't that far away, and Yael was probably already gone to work; and even if he wasn't she didn't want to yell for him because it would only make her head hurt more. 

But, something wasn't right about that. Yael- was too distant of a memory. Amira forced her eyes open. She had to blink several times to get them to focus before the images began to make sense. She was in a room she knew; but it wasn't a bedroom. It was late in the day, and lights were on in the room. There was someone sitting on a couch across from her, reading a book, and someone in a chair beside her with his eyes closed. That's when something astounding hit her. Everything she'd thought of since she had first woken up had been her own thoughts. Amira closed her eyes again, barely allowing herself to breath while she listened. There was almost nothing but the sounds of the room, and something like a high-pitched squeal in her ears. It was annoying, to be sure, but--

Many things came flooding back all at once. Amira's eyes popped open again. She looked back at the figure dozing in the chair that was right within reach. His sandy blonde hair looked like it hadn't seen a comb in a week, which was unusual for the soldier who was normally very particular about his appearance. Amira stretched out her arm toward him, finding in doing so that her muscles were very sore; but she managed to swat him on the shoulder. 

"Spencer- hey-"

Her voice was raspy and cracked as she spoke. Spencer's leg slid off the knee it was crossed over and jolted him awake, and he looked over at Amira as he sat up, then bolted upright to see her looking at him. Garrett had heard the voice as well, and a slow smile was growing on his face as he put the book face down on the couch and watched.

"Jesus Christ, is it good to see you awake."

He suddenly realized that she'd looked straight at him and said his name. His eyes widened a bit and he sat on the edge of the chair. He didn't really know what to say, unsure if she really knew who she was talking to or if it had just been a lucid moment.

"How do you feel?"

Amira cringed a little and shook her head gently.

"Like shit. I need some water."

She looked past Spencer to Garrett for a moment and gestured to him with a nod of her head.

"Who is that?"

Spencer stood, almost bouncing out of the chair.

"That's Dr. Mitchell, really smart guy. You're going to like him."

Looking to Garrett, he asked.

"Water ok?"

Garrett stood up and took a step toward the bed.

"Let's start with ice. Crush it up some, let's make sure she can swallow alright first."

Spencer nodded and made a bee line for the kitchen. Garrett smiled gently and took Spencer's place in the chair. He softened his voice, having noted her reaction to Spencer's more excited and somewhat louder voice. 

"Hello, Ms. Dayan. I'm Garrett. Spencer hired me about a week ago to see if I could be of some help with your illness. I'm afraid I am to blame for your currently feeling like shit- but I can assure you that you are in much better condition than you were less than 24 hours ago."

Amira reached up and rubbed her eyes, then tried to push herself to sit up. Garrett stood and helped her with that by turning a crank beneath the bed that raised the head of the bed.

"What did you do, get me drunk and beat me with a baseball bat?"

Garrett laughed softly and took the stethoscope from the pocket of his slacks.

"No, we stopped that method of detox a few years ago. Too many lawsuits. Do you mind if I take a few vitals?"

"That's alright."

Amira sat still and let him do what doctors usually do. He listened to her heart and her lungs, looked into her eyes with a tiny light, and took her pulse. Spencer came back with a glass with crushed ice, and Amira took it as if it were a gift from God himself. Just the first few chips melting on her tongue made her feel more human than she thought she could. 

Garrett, now back in the chair beside her, took his notebook and a pen and settled down.

"Do you feel up to talking a bit, Ms. Dayan?"

"Only if you stop calling me Ms. Dayan and call me Amira. And you too, Spencer. I do not remember getting here, and I know I did not put myself in these clothes, so  I have a feeling we have crossed into a first-name basis at this point."

Both men hesitated briefly, but nodded and smiled a little.

"Alright, Amira. Let's catch you up then."

Garrett spent the next half hour going over everything with Amira, beginning with his diagnosis of Hyperactive Delirium and how he believed she got to that point, the drugs she'd been given that had worsened the condition, and finally the decision and process of getting her off of the librium. She had several questions, and though she was extremely tired had insisted on getting through all of it.

"It all seems like an awful dream. I only remember flashes of things. I don't even know...wait; what day is it?"

Garrett shook his head.

"Let's slow down. There has been...some passage of time. You need to rest, and there is plenty of time to catch you up on everything. For now, I am extremely happy to see you awake and this oriented. Tomorrow morning we'll start you on the Thorazine and if you feel up to it, we'll go over the time."

Spencer nodded, standing nearby. Amira looked up to him.

"You have to tell me, at least, is Tyki alright? Is everything in Vegas still alright?"

Spencer opened his mouth, then hesitated.

"Mr. Tyki Mikk is fine. You don't need to worry about that right now; but I should probably call him."

Amira nodded and finally settled back, pulling the blanket up. Her head still felt like it was pounding, and the squealing in her ears was a bit louder. Within a few minutes, sleep came; but peacefully this time.

Having just lit a cigarette, Meadow leaned back in her comfortably chair in her office while drawing a long, bubbling breath of smoke and tobacco deep into her lungs. She sighed the smoke back our and closed her eyes, enjoying the slight burn in her throat as she continued to smoke. She felt her entire body aching, from her cramping neck to her banging head and all the way down to through all her muscles, down to her before almost healed stab wound, that was now aching from movement that she specifically was told by the doctor not to do. She and her crew had just returned back to the HQ after a long day with getting rid of the rival business ‘Freedom Trading Co.’ and her whole body was screaming for a boiling warm bath and a change of clothes, but she had just learned of some troublesome news and she felt her head drum with worry.

In her mind, the memory of her conversation with Tony played over and over. She kept thinking about how worried her boss seemed, and how the whole story just seemed so crazy. She had always been fond of Amira, and Meadow felt as if she should have known. Should have seen the signs. Meadow thought back to when they they were all driving to the warehouse to take care of Cortez, and how she had noticed Amira take a shot of vodka. At first, Meadow had just thought it to be a form of a ritual, but now some of the small signs made sense to her.

She butted down her cigarrette in the tray, and stood up quickly. She did not know the whole story, not at all just tiny bits, but she wanted to do something.. anything really, and then she got an idea. Meadow called around to plan out how it would work, ask if it was okay and a good time, and then she peprared herself to give Amira a visit. 

“She might feel like crap, feel exposed but she sure as hell wont have to feel alone too. Not on my watch.” Meadow mumbled out to herself. The place Amira had spent her time away, was quite far away so they drove out so they would be there around lunch. Meadow had spent most of the car ride looking at the landscape, only to stop for a few moments to light cigarettes form time to time. 

When the car finally arrived, Meadow sighed and quickly got out of the car to stretch her legs. When she looked around she was awestruck by the beauty of the place. She was excited, and also admittedly quite nervous as well. She had spoken with a guy on the phone, Garret? Or was it the other one? Who had explained Amira’s current condition, and they had agreed that it would be ideal to visit now, as she had gone through one of the tougher parts of her detoxing, and had had time to rest as well. Meadow grabbed her things from the backseat of the car. In her bags she had a bag of baked goods and a few other snacks, that she had learned from Tyki and Tony were Amiras favourite. Meadow felt embarrassed, as she did not even know if Amira could get anything down at the moment. But better safe than sorry anyway she thought. The snacks won’t be going anywhere anyway, will they? She can eat them if she craves so later. She made her way to the house and was greeted by a man standing in front of it. She nodded, and gave him a smile.

“Hello there!” She said.

Once again, Garrett Mitchell found himself on the back foot as the cheerful voice and pretty face made her way toward the front door. He'd only been told that the Left Hand of another family was coming to visit Amira; and it had been his own silly assumption that her counterpart was a man. So, he wrestled his professional face to the forefront and the flirtatious one back to it's little box for now.

"Hello, there. I am Garrett Mitchell. Welcome to Lake Mead. Have you been here before?"

He extended a hand to her as he met her just before the front step.

Meadow took a second to observe the man, just as he noticed her she noticed his brows raising just a second in surprise and she could not help but wonder if she maybe had made a mistake, and noted down the wrong date? She squinted her eyes as she pondered, but concluded that she could not have made such mistake. Meadow decided to leave it be, and extended her hand to the man in front of her.

”Thank you, Garret Mitchell. I am Meadow from The Bullet Society.” She said before adding her answer to his question, “I cannot say that I have, no. It’s beautiful.”

Meadow could not help but wonder in which state she would find Amira, and as she worried she put on a brave face - otherwise what would be the point of coming over to be supportive? She internally rolled her eyes of the irony. Wary of not giving anything away, Meadow put on her smile and awaited the instructions she was to follow here. 

Garrett bowed his head briefly, respectfully, and shook Meadow's hand. His Ivy-League, crisply pronounced words and well pressed navy suit presented him slightly differently than most of the black-suited and bulky mob types that lurked about. Garrett was an academic, and stood out from these folks like a sore, bookish thumb.

"It is a pleasure, ma'am. I'm very glad you've come, actually. I'm sure Amira will be glad to see someone else's face outside of mine and Spencer's for nearly a week."

He opened the front door and stepped aside to allow Meadow inside. The living room was straightened and had been cleaned nicely. The bed was made, and the desk and supplies were arranged neatly. 

"Amira is out on the back patio taking some fresh air. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the improvement; though I will tell you, she may seem a bit confused at some points. The passage of time between now and the last time she really remembers anything is quite muddled. We're working on that."

Garrett led Meadow through the living room and the kitchen, then through the large, empty space where the Blade and Bullet showrooms would usually be. He then opened a pair of large French doors that lead to a patio with a stunning view of Lake Mead. A few dozen feet away, on a bench swing suspended from an oak pergola, Amira sat watching the still water. She wore a thick, cozy looking cardigan, and her dark hair was pulled back and away from her face as the swing gently glided back and forth. 

"Amira- you've got a visitor." Garrett spoke as they came within earshot without having to shout.

Amira turned and looked back over her shoulder. Her face was slightly thinner than it had been a few weeks ago, and her eyes were a bit drawn in. There were a few moments that one could tell she had to search her memory- but then a genuine smile crossed her face.

"Meadow- aren't you a sight to see?"

She shot a teasing glance at Garrett.

"Damn sight better than these three ugly bastards."

Meadow quickly entered the opened front door and went inside. She though the outside was stunning, but the house itself felt very neat, light and airy. It reminded her a bit of her childhood home, idyllic if not for all the dark and twisted memories attached at some point or another. She sighed as she took it all in and followed Garret outside. She noticed Amira immediately and she smiled softly when she saw the spot she was sitting in. They moved closer, and Meadow kept her eyes on the lady in front of them. She noticed her eyes, and felt a pinch in her heart. Oh dear, she thought. Meadow noticed other things too, though. It seemed as if the air around the Left Hand lady of The Firm seemed.. different. Meadow had always been fond of the lady, there was no question about that and it was not in a bad way either. She could not wuite put her finger on it. Could it be that way, because Meadow knew there had been a change? A journey? Or a battle even? While Amira had always been, and still was a very beautiful, strong, tough, charismatic and intelligent lady it seemed as if her eyes had another look. The look of a warrior returned from war, to a more perhaps peaceful presence, yet haunted by the memories of what had been her reality? Meadow blinked her mind back from her train of thoughts.

She smiled warmly when she heard Amira speak, and she felt even lighter when she head her teasing voice.

”Oh dear Amira, it is so nice to see you.” Meadow grinned as she went over to give Amira a light hug. “Better make the most of it, I’ll not stay young and good looking forever,” she grinned and blinked.

Meadow looked back at Garret, before turning to Amira.

”I hope to hear they have been treating you well, yes?” She said with a light smile and a joking tone, though she meant every word said, and was ready to wreak havoc if that was not the case.

Accepting the good-natured prodding with a nod, Garrett retreated back to the house to his notes. Amira patted the seat beside her on the swing.

"They've been...far more than they had to be. Well, at least Spencer and Franco have. Those two were hired to be bodyguards- and Franco not even mine. Spencer is upstairs now asleep. I think it's the first time he's slept in a real bed since we got here."

She smiled a little, then sighed quietly, looking down at the pavers stone beneath them for a moment before gazing back out at the lake.

"I feel like I have been gone, but I do not remember leaving. Nor do I remember what I have been doing in the meantime. It's all a very strange blur- like a very strange dream where people can tell me where I have been, but I only remember very small pieces."

Looking up again at Meadow, Amira put her hand to her cheek in mock surprise.

"Do you know we live in Los Angeles now?"

It was a joke that was accompanied by a grin, but a day ago it had been news that Spencer and Garrett had been very careful and slow to explain to Amira- who hadn't been fully aware that the move had taken place. She had taken the news fairly well; but it came with a lot of questions, and some worries she hadn't yet expressed.

Looking as Garret returned to the House, Meadow turned her full attention to Amira while carefully listening to what she said. Meadow let out a tiny sigh of relief hearing the positive things said about the guys, and she felt even more excited to meet all of them whenever the timing was right.

”I understand,” Meadow said, trying her best to do so. Though she could never really understand and feel what Amira was going through, that was her journey alone. She imagined how lonely it must have been, how extremely confusing, cold and isolated it must have felt. Meadow raised her eyeboys slightly when she heard Amira’s question. She had been told there would be confusion and a spotty memory, but Meadow didn’t know to what extend. She nodded her head slowly.

”Oh.. do we??” Meadow tried, jokingly while grinning along with Amira.

”But yeah, there has certainly been a lot of changes going about. I’m not sure if you know, you probably do.. but Tony set up his shop in Downtown under Tyki aswell. I was asked to follow along and give a helping hand over there. But I miss the Firm so much.”

After carefully looking at Amira to see if there was any visible changes in her expression, Meadow decided to try on something bold - though not sure if she was allowed to.

”How much do you remember dear? How long has it been going on?”

Pulling the cardigan around her, Amira settled back against the swing and thought for a few moments, trying to think of a way to explain things that she, herself, had only really just begun to grasp.

"The last thing that I remember with any real clarity was a meeting with Tyki and Tony shortly after we buried Corrado. We had just begun to talk about how to take revenge on Cortez; but we were only planning then- only beginning to gather information on him. I remember that I wasn't sleeping well. Days and nights began to kind of run together."

She looked at her friend and shrugged.

"And that is where things just...end. From there, it is more like when you have a dream that you only remember small flashes of, and then they fade away before you can remember any more of them. A lot of them are nightmares. I remember hearing voices in my head that would never go away. As for how long- I am still unsure. It's been months, from what Garrett and Spencer have told me. I know that Cortez is dead; but Spencer thinks it's best that Tyki go over those things, as they are business related. Spencer did mention that Tony has set up Downtown. I think that was a very good move and I know that he will do well. And that you have your hands full keeping him out of trouble."

Amira grinned, but fidgeted with the edge of her cardigan sleeve for a while without looking up.

"It's been too long. I have not been in my right mind or doing my job for Tyki for too long."

Now she looked up again, her eyes meeting Meadow's with a look that was a mixture of worry and determination behind the exhaustion.

"I have to get back there. I have to get back and he has to know that I can still fulfil the oath I made to him and to The Firm. It kills me inside to think that he might be questioning that."

Meadow smiled softly. She understood and felt the pain of each and every word said. It was a tough and rough decision to be in, to have people counting on you and feeling like you are letting them down. She looked down on her feet.

”You absolutely need to know something now, and you need to hear me, alright?” she searched Amira’s eyes, and her soft smile had been replaced with a serious but determined look. Meadow felt the words get stuck on her throat, before finding the courage to say it. She respected the woman in front of her deeply and not only as a superiour but her friend. 

“You, my dear, need to understand that I,” she pointed at herself before giving Amira a tiny apologetic smile and continuing, “I mean.. me. Am fully in awe of your way of thinking right now. How could such a smart and intelligent lady as yourself not hear what you are saying to me? Amira hun, please!” Meadow stopped herself before taking just a moment to revise what she was about to say and had said, but decided to put the formal guards down and say it straight forward.

”I understand that you absolutely need to get back to The Firm, as soon as humanly possible too!! But honey, you need to just know how valued you are first! If there is anything I know, it is the fact that Tyki absolutely knows your worth. What you are cabable of, also what you have been capable of. Do not for one second believe yourself to have been failing in your duties, because of what has happened to you. I get that you are feeling as if you are letting him down, and everybody else too perhaps. But there is not one single soul in LA that doubts your drive, your oath or your person. But you need to heal. Properly heal, and I am not talking psysically. The tremendous amount of trauma you have gone through would be something that can kill a person,  and that is something that needs to be processed.” Meadow sighed and leaned back.

”I’m here, that is all really. I am terribly sorry for my outrage, I just had to come out with it.” 

For a few moments, Amira sat very still and just blinked, looking at Meadow until she sat back in her seat. Then, a huge smile broke over Amira's face- in fact, the biggest smile she had managed in quite some time.

"Meadow, I know that there are a lot of things that have slipped my mind, but it seems that you have found quite a voice since taking your place in Tony's upper structure."

Amira gave her friend a knowing nod.

"It suits you. And don't apologize; you are probably right. Both Spencer and Garret have said similar things- at least about taking time to heal. Tyki has always been an extremely careful man about his people. I know that he would want me to be doing what is best for me or I would not be here."

"But I need to be doing what is best for him." she thought to herself. Amira had already made up her own mind. It was time to get back to L.A. She knew that Garrett would have to have his say about things; but she was remembering now who she was. 

Gazing one last time across the lake, she took a deep breath.

"I'm ready to go home, Meadow."

Meadow smiled as she nodded her head. Amira’s determination to go home was perfectly rational, if she only took her precautions too and knows her limits. She stood up and gesturrd for them to head inside. Amira would prbably have to clear some things up with Spencer and Garret before even getting the chance to think about going, but Meadow wanted to do whatever there was in her power to help. The realization blinked before her eyes, and she knew now too that the only thing left for her friend was to get started slowly but surely, working towards creating a steady routine for her to get back into her old ways.

Meadow grinned as she nodded agreeingly. She herself and the rest of LA was so eager for her return.

”Let’s go home, Amira.” 

From the French doors, Garrett and Spencer both stood with a mug of coffee, watching as Amira and Meadow sat together on the patio.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Spencer mused.

"Well as I was leaving them, they were talking about how ugly you were." Garrett casually replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

Spencer rolled his eyes, but grinned a little.

"So, do you think she's ready to go home?"

Garrett swallowed his coffee and let a thoughtful few moments pass before he answered.

"I think it wouldn't be a bad idea; but I don't think it would be a good idea to thrust her right back into the grittiest of work as soon as she hits the ground. Ideally, I'm going to need to monitor how the Thorazine is working; she'll need to see me at least once a week for the first month or so, and that's in the best case. If she's having any issues with relapse, we would have to back up and try something more involved."

Spencer nodded.

"Well it's not like I'm cutting you loose after this, Garrett. You're still on Amira's detail once we're back in Los Angeles. You'll be on my schedule, so you will be able to observe her pretty regularly; and if you see anything concerning, you let me know right away. Mr. Tyki Mikk wants to know things like that right away."

He shifted his weight uneasily.

"I'd just as soon not have to get 'invited' back into his office unexpectedly."

Garrett gave his friend a curious, one-eyebrow-raised look.

"Oh? Is that something you'd like to talk about?"

Spencer shook his head.

"Not here, and not without a significant amount of alcohol involved."

Garrett nodded and raised his coffee cup in understanding. Spencer cleared his throat and moved on.

"Anyway, I guess I better call back to L.A. and let them know, then get the boys started on packing up."

Spencer took another sip and watched as Meadow and Amira stood up. The two women embraced for a long time, then they started together for the house.

"You're sure she's ready?"

Garrett put his coffee cup down on the counter.

"That's really up to Amira; but I think she's perfectly capable at this point."

He nodded toward the two coming closer to the door.

"And, from the looks of it, she's got the support. That's probably the most important part."

------------------------

LATER THAT EVENING

With a final, long, exhale, Spencer blew out the last breath of smoke and sighed as he crushed the cigarette under the heel of his shoe. Looking down at his watch, he saw it was nearing 6 p.m. Amira and Garrett were in the living room. Franco was upstairs. The rest of the detail was beginning to pack up things that weren't needed anymore. It was time to make the call.

In the kitchen, he leaned against the counter and waited with the telephone receiver against his ear. Joey answered, and in a few minutes, he was holding for Tyki Mikk. Spencer had already worked out what to say- keeping the conversation short and to the point, hopefully spending as little time on the phone as possible. When the line picked up, he took a breath.

"Yes sir, good news. Looks like we're heading back tomorrow."

If you or someone you know is battling a substance abuse crisis, please know that help is available to you.

In the US, you can call the Substance Abuse Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at
1-800-662-HELP (4357)

In the UK, you can call the Frank drugs helpline at 0300 123 6600 or visit the Frank website 

Most importantly, if you are ready to seek help, just reach out to someone. Talk to a friend, a family member, or someone you trust and let them know. You don't have to fight this battle alone.