Prostitution Ring Disrupted in Queens, NY

A prostitution ring in Queens was disrupted today, authorities claim. Bazooka's Gentleman's Club on 73rd Ave and 188th street was raided, leading to multiple arrests. The owner of the club, Rupert Giles, alleged Right Hand of the Planet Express Criminal Enterprise denies any knowledge of such activities. Famed Mob attorney Bruce Cutler, representing Giles says any allegations towards his client will be dealt with swift litigation as his client is a "silent partner with no involvement in the day to day operations". NYPD Organized Crime Division has released a statement, "...We will continue to crack down on any operations in this great city. Organized Crime is a plague that will be dealt with."

South Philly Sees Increase in Post Robberies

South Philly, Philadelphia Post Office robberies have ran rampant. This month alone has seen over a dozen robberies. Office managers have demanded security as they worry about the safety of the employees. Richard Wad, an Associate of Prime Criminal Organization was brought in for questioning but lack of evidence has led to his quick release. The FBI has had to overtake the investigation due to poor police work by the SPDP.

War Continues Across All Major Cities

The war between The Durden Gang and what is believed to be over a dozen Criminal Organization's continues coast to coast. The war has claimed the lives of thousands of Durden Gang members and doesn't seem to ease anytime soon. Tyler Durden Godfather of the Organization, along with his Consigliere Robert Paulson and Underboss Marla Singer have been seen no where as the war escalates. Many major cities across the nation has advised its citizens to be cautious as the war continues.

Las Vegas Safes Cracked

Quarry Garage on the Las Vegas Strip was burglarized last night with thieves stealing thousands. A safe cracking crew operating on the Strip has caught the attention of the LVPD. This is among a string of safes recently being targeted. The thieves have been using acetylene cutters and explosives in order to open them. Many local businesses raises concerns as they feel no safe is safe. The LVPD have no leads or suspects at the time but are confident they will solve this case.

St. Valentines Day Massacre!

This Valentines Day in the Old City District, Philadelphia wasn't just for lovers as the morgue filled. A crowd gathered on 2nd and Chestnut St at the 48 Record Bar as Infamous Mob Boss Chromatik, leader of The Disposition Criminal Enterprise was slain. Calls to the PPD came flooding as bodies were turning up across the city, Consigliere Kenny Russo owner of Russo Meats among many other notable members of the Organization are now deceased. Godfather Transistor, Leader of the Frequency Crime Organization was brought in for questioning. Released shortly after and still remains a person of interest. Old District Police Chief Thomas McCroy released a statement "There's no way to prepare for something like this but we are going to do everything in our power to solve this". As of now it seems no one will see incarceration.

Kidnapping In Chicago FBI

Kidnapping Division are hard at work trying to a kidnapping that went wrong. William Heinerschimdt, so of prominent business tycoon James Heinerschimdt was discovered dead in a trunk of a car in The Loop, Chicago. A 2 million dollar ransom didn't make the deadline of the kidnappers. The FBI have no leads at this moment but believe members of The Feel Good Inc, a criminal outfit that controls the city is responsible. Albert Malkowitz, famed criminal attorney who represents the members of the organization claim "FBI or any other law enforcement agency has no rights to speculate any of my clients have knowledge or involvement in this case." Ketamine, leader of the organization expresses condolences for the families but vehemently denies involvement.

Queens Washed In Blood!

Horrific scenes across Queens, New York today as two criminal organization's were dismantled as hitsquads dispatched members of the Planet Express Criminal Enterprise and Quantum Quorum. Godfather Professor and Don Aethersix were gunned down at Don Cristos Cigar Lounge on 73rd and Utopia Parkway. Many notable members of the organization are now deceased. Rumor holds Godfather-Chairman of New York Dangerclose released a statement to the criminal underworld but this is speculation. Funerals are expected to hold thousands of spectators as many of the deceased were known throughout the nation. FBI declines to release a statement at this moment.

Corruption Plagues The Nation!

The last few years have seen major increases in police corruption across this nation. Internal Affairs claims "We just don't have the resources right now to put a dent in the corruption". Sam Dilday, an officer of the LVPD was discovered dead in vehicle, along with 10 kilo's of cocaine in his trunk. Many believe the disparity of pay in law enforcement has lead to many searching alternatives to income including involvement with organized crime. Citizens of the nation are concerned, feeling police should have more integrity.

V-Day Looming Ahead

V-Day, a dreaded event by law enforcement is set to take place soon. The event, authorized by The Commission will see death tolls raise as many aim for the rewards and pay outs. Participates seeking riches and glory from all major criminal organization's are expected to be involved in the event. Mobsters are encouraged to evade and murder each other, citizens are being advised to stay indoors as the event takes place. FBI will be working over-time to try to dismantle the event but have yet to make any headway.

V-Day Is Over!

Citizens across nation have been advised that the Infamous V-Day is complete. Authorities across the nation continue to find deceased victims but say the streets are now safe to traverse. Crime Families from across the nation participated in this no holds bar event for fame, glory and wealth which many believe is barbaric but has yet to be broken. FBI alongside ATF have recovered hundreds of weapons used during the event but are skeptical arrests will be made. No civilians were harmed during the 24 hour killing spree that took place and authorities are pleased with that. Mayor of Philadelphia, Thomas Green went on record to say "...These animals killing each other is a benefit to society..."

Assassins Put On Ice

An outrageous 15 million dollar bounty has been pulled on Wiseguy SaddleFlashing, an Associate of The Stargazers Criminal Organization. Local authorities have yet to determine who sanctioned the hit but it is believed it has been removed. Rumors have been spread but nothing concrete has been able to determine who led the bounty. The FBI claims to have no knowledge of the would be assassins but are glad there's peace in the streets.

Dice Roulette Turns Deadly

On Chicago's Southside a dice racket has been rated which led to the discovery of the body of MrChaChaSlide, Consigliere of the Feel Good Incorporated Criminal Enterprise. It is believed that a game of dice similar to Russian Roulette was played. Authorities still have no knowledge of other players involved in the game but investigations have been started. Many believe it was a sad day for the criminal underworld as MrChaChaSlide was loved by many.

Tyler Durden Gang Decimated

The war against the Durden Gang has claimed many lives. With less than 100 soldiers left, Tyler continues the fight. The war has spread across the nation. The kamikaze effort that Tyler has declared seems to be at an end soon. His closest confidants believe he will fight to the end until there's no soldier standing. Many believe this is suicide mission as his forces have shrank considerably. The FBI and local authorities have scrambled to put away the would-be murderers a lack of evidence has led to zero arrests. Tyler, alongside his right hand and left hand men have been nowhere to be seen. Many believe it is only a matter of time before they turn up deceased.

Bull-Sheet Awards About To Be Declared

Across the Nation many newspapers five for the chance to win the Bull-Sheet Award. Transistor, alleged Godfather of Frequency Crime Organization along with committee are tallying up the votes and believe they will have a winner soon. In recent events, newspapers have sprung up across the nation each Vying for the chance to be number one. Corruption, murder, scandals and much more have been discussed during the uprise of newspapers. Many just wishing a return to normalcy, and believe the awards will deliver this.

Queens Under New Regime

The FBI Organized Crime Division has released information pertaining to a new leadership in the criminal underworld of Queens, NY. Teyla, the alleged new head of Queens mostly notably known for a non-guilty verdict in a jury trial years ago for racketeering, murder, and many other charges is still under investigation for jury tampering but evidence is lacking and the only known witness willing to testify was found dead days before the pending grand jury indictment. FBI spokesperson claims they "... will monitor Queens and further actions inside the Morning Dew Criminal Organization."

Bull-Sheet Awards Crowns Victor!

The votes have been tallied and the winner of The Bull-Sheet Award is Tommy Vitale, publisher of The MR Gazette. An audit was requested regarding results, Godfather Transistor produced all necessary paperwork during the audit and proved the results were correct. Warmonger, Caporegime of Frequency Criminal Enterprise was allegedly present during the audit process.

Mo-Town Shake Ups

Changes in Detroits Criminal Hierarchy are expected to take place according the Federal and Local Law Enforcement. Brent_Evertt, Right Hand Man to Godfather-Chairman of Detroit is expected to run a crew in Bricktown, Detroit. A commission meeting was alleged to take place concerning the rising criminal activities and expansions in Detroit. Law Enforcement Task Forces are gearing up to stop the spread of crime but minimal progress has been made in apprehending members of The Camorra Syndicate. Further updates are expected as events unfold in Detroits Criminal Underworld.

Snowball Fight Expected Across The Nation

As Winter winds down a different kind of event is expected to take place. On Feb. 24th, a massive snowball fight is expected to take place across the nation including members of all criminal organization's. Many believe the event unites the criminal underworld in a friendly way with prizes to the winners. FBI were skeptical about the event but after further investigation, discovered it is exactly what it claims to be, a friendly event for members of all organizations. The Nation will still be on high alert in case snowballs turn into lead.

Coffee Shop Raided In Las Vegas!

The Lucky Jackals, a coffee shop in Paradise, LV was raided this morning by joint efforts between ATF, FBI, DEA and Local Agencies. The coffee shop wasn't only serving Columbian coffee as 20 kilo's of cocaine was discovered, an array of rifles and hand guns and an underground gambling den. The operation was a 6 month investigation, names of the arrests have yet to be released but over a dozen individuals were arrested in connection to the coffee shop. Mayor of Paradise, Paul Rannsin had this to say, "Today was a victory for us, keeping these drugs and guns off the streets is our main priority and we will continue this never ending fight". Mayor Rannsin was recently accused by political rivals of visiting the cities local brothels, any mention of this scandal was brought on by vehement denials by the Mayor's Office.

Federal Grand Jury Hits Snag!

A Federal Grand Jury will be set to deliberate on whether to indict TipToeTimmy, alleged Left-Hand Man of The Feel Good INC.  The 50 page indictment, with a seven year Federal investigation has charges rangings from murder, racketeering, narcotics trafficking and much more. The only issue at hand is the key witness, Billy "Batz" Tangelli went missing under Chicago PD protection. Billy was placed in a safehouse at an undisclosed location and when officers went to his room, "he was gone". The two officers on duty are currently under investigation in relation to the missing witness and have been suspended with day. Federal Prosecutor Sarah Rodriguez went stated "...never should been in Chicago, almost every officer is corrupt there." Billy was integral to the indictment, without this testimony TipToeTimmy could walk with another point for the whole Feel Good Inc, The Loop, Chicago's ruling Crime Empire.

Rattle Event On Horizon!

Saturday, March 2nd will be a frightening day for many cities across the nation. The Rattle Event is essentially a game agreed upon by The Commission, the leading body off the entire nation's mafia criminal empires. FBI spokesperson in an interview with the public describes the event as such, "A sick game in which members of this countries mafia gamble against each other to who can kill the most 'rats', the wager on 48 rounds spanning 24 hours! I advise the public to be cautious while out if you live in a major city. Civilians have been unintentional victims and it may be unsafe that day.". Many people are furious, a civilian who refuses to be named states, "it's crazy the government can't stop this. I mean these people are out here killing in broad daylight and the cops are so corrupt they just step over dead bodies! It's ridiculous!". Who knows what will unfold on this dreaded day.

Transistor Trivia!

Barcelona Win Bar on S 12 St in South, Philadelphia was raided this morning. Local authorities received a tip saying a "trivia game" of some sort was being there with members of organized crime across the nation attended. Police Chief Paul Richardson states, "I highly doubt a group of high ranked mafia members are just answering trivia questions...it's also said the prizes range in the millions! This has to be some sort of plan for crime, just has to.". Witnesses claim to have seen figures such as Deadirishman, Right-Hand Man in the notorious Bullet Society. Sekhmet, a high ranked member of the Prime Crime Organization was rumored to be there amongst many others. FBI has involved themselves as many believe this isn't what it appears to be. There are currently no leads to where the location will take place next.

Brick-Town Crime Wave

A major crime wave has shook Brick-Town Detroit. Crime has been rampant with authorities constantly two steps behind since Brent_everett established The Innuendo Criminal Organization. Businesses controlled by rivals on 7 mile have continually been set ablaze. Art galleries are being robbed, loan shark operations are running rampant amongst many other crimes. A critic of the DPD who doesn't want to be named claims, "...that place (jail) is like a revolving door for any of those guys, they walk in and are out almost immediately. This is ridiculous, Detroit Police are all on the take I know it.". Herbert Goldstein, Criminal Defense Attorney whom only represents members of the Prime Organization made a statement earlier, "The allegations against my clients are ludicrous. These are honest business people, being targeted by incompetent prosecutors hoping to make headlines. All my clients are innocent...". Herbert has represented many of the members including Anyalis- and DickBrewer, high ranked members of the organization. Only time will tell if DPD continues to drop the ball.

Publish/Editor Note: This will conclude Volume 1 of MR Gazette. I really hope people have enjoyed it thus far. If you guys would like a Volume 2 then post or message comments/concerns ect ect. And also don't forget to tip ;) gambling, drinking, drugs and partying doesn't pay for itself lol.