WORLD EXCLUSIVE - TAPTGUTT IS OF THE KUKU LINEAGE!

TG as he's known for brevity has today been revealed as being of the Kuku lineage.  TG only ever speaks about himself in the third person, and it is with this protocol that this article is written.

TG said that he had gone underground to find out who killed LostBoy, going as far as naming himself LostBoy, but in the Norwegian language.  Sadly, this went right over the heads of hapless Norwegian mobsters who are obsessed with dogs.

TG didn't plan on coming out, as so many of his lineage have beforehand (RIP Big Ape) but given the disastrous run of newspapers, including a "weekly" Gazette that simply isn't, TG was compelled to write a decent newspaper.

LEOPARDS CAN CHANGE THEIR SPOTS

TG busied himself with winning the lottery constantly and building up a massive fortune.  Generous to a fault, he works hard for his crew and leader, and his four remaining friends.  Thanks guys.

So, whilst TG is of the Kuku lineage, he isn't anything like Kuku.  He's a good man, though, humble, and happy with his lot.

A recent respectful exchange with Gillian hammered home just how happy TG is not to carry the baggage of the Kuku lineage.

NEWS JUST IN...  TG DENIES BEING KUKU

TaptGutt released the following statement:

I am not related to Kuku, nor Fareham.  I am not a descendent of LostBoy and none of my lineage have ever shot anyone related to Bryan or Jono.  Stop this slander right now or I will go to my lawyer and take legal action.

This is the worst newspaper I've read since the release of The Weekly Gazette (which I was a big fan of until my offer for a Journalistic Alliance was refused and the 5 million dollar prize for solving the riddle was stolen from me).

This doesn't even meet the bar to be called "competition". It's like the non-entrant of a Competitive Journalism Competition.