TOP STORY: THE ACCUSED BECOMES THE ACCUSER

Reputed contest-rigger TaptGutt Kuklinski recently took to the streets to announce an 80 million dollar book report contest for who could write the best review for the novel Systematic Immolation of Thought. Entrants included familiar faces such as TommyVitale (media mogel and leading newspaper publisher) and  SaddleFlashing (a hack). In an unexpected turn of events, aspiring newspaper editor Don Gillian dropped a bomb that would send shockwaves through the contest landscape, casting light on potential shenanigans and f*ckery within the contest

Having dealt with her own fair share of scam allegations in the past, Gillian was quick to sling a few allegations of her own, this time aimed at the award-winning weekly Gazette owner TommyVitale. Gillian revealed that it was obvious to her that TaptGutt and TommyVitale were in cahoots, with a sizeable sum of money publicly exchanging hands between the two men strengthening her theory. This collusion mixed with TaptGutt’s reputation of contest manipulation immediately brought the validity of the contest into question. I immediately reached out to Gillian for comment.

Gillian allegedly replied respectfully, and admitted that most of her issues with TommyVitale stem from her envy of the massive successes of his Gazette versus the lack of success of her own. She went on to state that she had definitive proof that he was a part of one of TaptGutt’s sinister schemes. She also said the c-word a bunch of times. 

It should be noted these comments are all alleged. It should also be noted that I admittedly AM in collusion with TommyVitale. We are in collusion together in the fact that we both live to serve our shared Don in Chicago, Don Ketamine. We are in collusion together in that we are both members of a very exclusive group of young ambitious newspaper entrepreneurs, and while our newspapers are drastically different in style, they do share one similarity. Consistency; a quality sadly not shared among some of our other counterparts

In closing, I again want to remind you that everything you’ve read above is all alleged, and as always I thank you for your support. 

Wow, another Journalist™ DEAD, SLAUGHTERED for publishing naught but ALLEGED NEWS.

We all know Journalism™ is a cut throat business where the competition is fierce. To quickly put to bed any suspicions that I might have personally had a hand in YungCyrax's death in order to stamp out the competition, I would like to publish the following proof that this whole time I was stationed in Philly:

Feb 28, 15:24:04     TommyVitale has invited you to a crime. (Accept) - (Decline)

TommyVitale will be able to back this claim up, which means that we both have rock-solid alibis.

Now what other possibilities does that leave us with?

SaddleFlashing exited the Journalismosphere after the dramatic Systematic Immolation of The Saddle Newsflash by StreetSheriff.

Georgette's newspaper is too much of an opinionated mega-column and not objective or FACTUALLY VERIFIABLE enough to qualify as actual news, so we can't truly say that she's part of the ultra-competitive Journalismosphere of HOT SCOOPS.

So who is left then...? Hmm??? (allegedly).