The Cooter Times Vol 6
Est 1923

Founder: Catherine J. Cooter
Current Editor-in-Chief: Georgette Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax family of Charborough

Bros, hoes & Non-binary Folks, 

Don't worry, I've checked with city hall there's no need to report me.

Welcome back to another edition of Cooter Times. We heard your cries, your pleas, and your general stupidity in the streets and coffee houses. And thus we're back, with all the news that is news that we could bother to report on and/or make up. 

The key focus of this week seems to be regarding the streets and the state of them. 

Our world is one of lead by example - and thus I'd like to point out some facts. 

Godfathers: 13
Active in the streets in more than shit slinging: maybe 3? 

Dons: 53
Active in the streets in more than shit slinging: Not sure, I don't care about any of you, the point is about the leaders. 

Anyway, the public have cried about the activity of the streets, the silence on the streets, how Warmonger loves sniffing the taint bit of Sisu's undergarments (I told you, he SMELLS) and that its currently dying. 

So I guess if the people in charge of our world can't be arsed to contribute to it, why should an established tabloid of 20 years bother either? 

Aside from the attention, the acclaim, the "Wow she's so funny!" - there isn't a reason. Theres plenty of news to cover. Idiot on Idiot crime in the streets, new events coming up our streets have never seen, Durden crews taking on suspicious names due to bribery, More idiots.. the list is endless. 

But if those in charge don't give a fuck to be seen and be present, why the fuck should we? 

Until the next time I can muster a fuck to give: 

this volume was brought to you buy the letters T.M.I.A.M & the numbers 8 6 7 5 3 0 9. 

Smooches, 

Georgette Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax family of Charborough

He was sitting in the back of his limousine after leaving a meeting in Bella Vista with Sal_Giaquinto, AdamSmasher and a few others and they were parked in front of the building. The window was down as Sylence took a deep breath of the March air as he closed his eyes for a minute. You see it brought back a lot of memories as the snow would start to melt soon and the flowers and grass would grow just as it did every year, no matter what was happening around it with our world. As he looked out of the limo window and across the street he noticed a kid selling newspapers on the corner so he dispatched the driver to go grab him one, watching as the kids eyes lit up as he was given a hefty cash tip by the Godfather 

He took about thirty seconds to read it as it was not very long issue this time and that really disappointed him. He read all of it and thought to himself how he enjoyed reading the newspapers every week put out by all the different reporters, including his friend TommyVitale. He made sure to write a nice check to their office for their hard work as he went off to check on the casino and his drug front properties that were scattered across Philadelphia 

Gillian grabbed a newspaper, but before she could pay, she had already read all of it, so short it was. She returned it to the little newspaper boy without paying and said between his protests:

"Georgette turned around slowly and tilted her head to the side, holding up the paper slightly before calling out, "Is this a paper or did you accidentally print someone's diary?" 

"I make your words, my own." 

She ruffled his hair and walked away.

Georgette slipped Gillian a few dollars, "My apologies, friend. I Figured when I printed in the usual format that's been used for nearly 20 years it was obvious that the first portion is the word for the editor and or editorial as it were, and the news stories were to follow. I assure you the mistake of overestimating the intelligence of the community won't happen again and this was an error on our part. We should have labeled the section clearly. I hope this money covers any emotional distress it may have caused you."

Ahhhhhhh the Cooter times

This needs to be revered and celebrated with........I dunno, pie or something.

I really want to improve the quality of street life as it were but, as you know very well...............effort

Keep fighting the good fight.