It was roughly one week ago that our cities were hit with a new threat: Vampires. Amidst the carnage and confusion a new face appeared. His names was RICHTERBELMONT, and he meant it. RICHTER showed up purporting to be a "famous" vampire slayer, but I'd never heard of him and I could find no written account of any of his deeds or triumphs.

So who is this man, anyhow? He shows up out of nowhere, touting unverified claims of having slayed vampires, insults my name, and makes a cozy home for himself in Las Vegas (a city known for its night life). One week later, there is not a single vampire slain and there is no indication that any will be slain in the near future. The vampires roam freely, without fear, and our famous slayer does nothing. I even had one bloodsucker taunt me the other day with a toothy grin, seeming to say "what are you going to do about it?".

I'll tell you what I will NOT do about it. I will not call on that worthless vampire slayer for help. If you had asked me a week ago, when RICHTER was swinging his jumpy-rope thing around wildly, I would have imagined a trail of dead vampires behind him everywhere he went. He came in with a lot of promise and then fell flat.

So, besides the fact that he simply cannot, or will not, do his job, I've been beginning to wonder, do we even need him to do anything? I've been keeping a close eye on the obituaries and the number of vampire-related deaths so far is actually ZERO! Either the creatures of the night have been getting very lazy, or we've been fed a ton of misinformation about their capacity for doing mean and terrible things. Perhaps they are just misunderstood? Maybe they just want a hug, and perhaps just a little, teensy bit of that warm human juice.

What does RICHTERBELMONT have to gain by vilifying these seemingly friendly, hardworking night shifters? What is his real purpose? Will we ever get another wave of journalists around to do an investigative report on these happenings? The mafia world has many questions.

RICHTERBELMONT was rumored to having been heard shouting things such as "TELL ME ABOUT WILLIE_G_SKULL! WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?" and "LOT OF LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GOOMBA" as he was throwing low level associates off the back of a truck racing down the streets at 60 miles per hour, after unsuccessfully interrogating them to obtain more information on rumoured vampire and general menace to society Willie_G_Skull.

RICHTERBELMONT heard that his target was making a slanderous speech in the street and came storming in, breathing rapidly. He was an expert in breathing techniques, as any vampire slayer of the BELMONT line was. When people told him "take a breather", he knew how to take a breather. It was in his blood.

As RICHTERBELMONT got close enough, he takes out his wooden crucifix and points it towards Willie_G_Skull. He then begins to shout at the passer-bys.

"WILLIE IS ATTEMPTING TO TURN THE GENERAL PUBLIC AGAINST ME. DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM. DO NOT BE FOOLED, I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION AS TO WHY THE TERRIBLE VILLAIN WILLIE_G_SKULL WOULD BE ADVOCATING FOR MY EXILE FROM THESE BLOOD-FERTILE LANDS IN NEED OF VAMPIRE PURGING."

"LOOK AT HIM, WEARING THE MASK OF A SKULL. WHAT IS HIDING BEHIND THAT SKULL MASK I WONDER? COULD IT BE 2 LONG FANGS, A PALE COMPLEXION, EYEBAGS, AND WRINKLES OF OLD AGE?"

RICHTERBELMONT then turns directly towards Willie_G_Skull

"IF I PULL OFF THAT MASK WILL YOU DIE?"

"YOU'RE A BIG GUY."

You are quite the peacemaker, Chille, and I will commend you for that. In all likelihood, however, your efforts will be in vain. You cannot expect vampires and vampire slayers to live together in harmony. It defies logic and the laws of nature. I'm afraid RICHTER will eventually get eaten by a vampire while he is laying around in his five-day worn, cheeto-stained shirt, doing absolutely nothing to save himself or the rest of us.

The woman stood motionless in the darkness of the alleyway, her face obscured by the deep shadows and her head covered by the hood of her cloak. As she watched the mortals below, she stifled a soft laugh, her eyes glowing faintly in the dim light. She observed the chaos and confusion that had erupted among the humans, all of them fighting and arguing over the fact that she was the only vampire in the city. The woman remained silent, content to watch the spectacle from a safe distance, aware of the power she held over these mere mortals.