A funny looking man, yet handsome and very strong, steps out onto the streets wearing a "Nice Shaft for a Dick" tee shirt. Receiving odd looks from the crowd he chokes down his pride, "and yes pride you dirty bastards," he thinks to himself. Stepping up to the podium he strips off his pants and reveals his under garments to grab the remainder of the street life's attention.
Everyone continues to stare at Dick with an astonished look on their faces.
"Yes it has been a while since my bloodline has graced the world with it's presence. I understand some of you agree to disagree on my rumblings from time to time, but hey, fuck it right? I arrived in this world to make a difference once again. Although I shall fail miserably at least there is an attempt being made. But seriously, I will fail miserably. It's what we Dick's are good at. One second we stand firm with confidence, and at other times we fall limp to the debacle of craziness the world may bring. Once arriving at these shores immediately I heard there has been an extreme lack of presence to speeches made in the streets. How could this be? My grandfathers grandfathers babies and cousins of sisters that I just found out I had, use to talk about the streets as if they were packed with socialites of all walks of life. Whether they be a shaft or the balls, it didn't matter what end of the totem pole they belonged too, they were not afraid to show there faces. If your saying to yourself, "How could that be Dick? Shaft and balls do not possess such faces," then yes you are right, although it's obvious the term metaphor was never in your vocabulary nor understood."
Dank stares at Dick confused and with the look of a lost catholic school girl who happened to step into the wrong Bordello and later finding it to be what she'd always been looking for.
"Point exactly. Do not be afraid to make yourself known to the public. There was once a time where I'm sure my bloodline didn't have the nerve to step up in front of a large crowd to make themselves and their points known. However, does that mean step up on a podium with no point to be made and totally make an ass of yourself? Sure why not, after all those who don't understand me, are probably assuming that it's what I'm doing right now. Which is fine by me, it just means that those who do get it are actually taking something away from it. Regardless, it's a point that should be taken a bit more serious because Dick likes to see attempts being made. Not that it matters to some, but if you can honestly tell me you don't enjoy hearing a speech, whether it be the pinnacle of worst possible attempt at social life or not, then why are you here? Do you just get your jolly's off by robbing old women and watching them fall to the ground causing their skirts to reveal all?"
A few in the crowd turn and stare at Donnie-.
"What? I DO NOT," Donnie- defends.
Dick shakes his head.
"Look some people are just into that, it's a compulsion they cannot control. So why not make being vocal or somewhat interested in speeches, whether it be making them or just attending, a new compulsion? It can be done and I am proof. It would bring joy to my lonely sad little heart to see a bit more activity when it comes to such. I will make my voice heard if you make an attempt, and don't worry, you won't have to worry about being shafted by Dick."
The man steps down off the podium, puts his pants back on, and lights a joint before departing back into the alley. Lord knows what he's doing there.