Hogan was running around in his yellow tights monday morning looking for bagels and cream cheese. He didn't really want anyone to see him in his non mafia outfit but in the back of his mind he was wondering what if someone did. And then it happened! He didn't know why they were staring so hard but it made hogan a little nervous. The men laughed at Hogan and walked out the bagel shop.

Go back to the ring old man, you ain't suited for this life.

He wasn't suited for this life? What does that mean. The Hulkster ran outside after the two gentlemen and caught up with them. Grabbing both of them on the shoulders they turned awestricken to see the hulkster flexing his pectorals in their faces.

You know something dudes i heard you say something about me not suited for this life! Well brothers i dont know what your trying to say but i want you to explain yourself.

The two men pushed hogans hands away from their shoulders and laughed a bit. They had their guns drawn at him from the side of their hips. Both fingers were on the trigger A car pulled up and a man on the inside was yelling at them to get in.

You are Hogan. The incredible defender of the championship title willing to defend it at all costs. But you go out and you also claim to be some sort of wiseguy! You ain't no wise guy. You are some oversized lump of muscle who tries to pretend you are something you ain't. Thats what we are laughing at. Your mistaken identity. Why dont you go run around in the ring playing footsie with other half naked men so little boys could watch you? Run a long now.

Normally hogan would have said something. This time he couldn't, he found them right in a weird sense. He was pretending. He wasn't really a mobster but what was a mobster. If Hogan didnt' know the answer who would?! Would anyone have an actual response to a question like that? Hogan decided he would take it to the ring.

Ladies and Gents i come to you all here tonight to ask a question that has been on my mind lately dudes! See, the other day i caught up with a few guys who basically told me that i am no mobster. At first i was not offended. Then i saw how they laughed at it. How it meant nothing to them. How my life runs around in yellow tights giving people entertainment and yet its nothing to die for. So my compadres and compadritas i want to ask you a very important and yet simple question. You may answer whenever you feel the time is right for you. There is an answer but i think at the end of the day it is only a matter of opinion.

The hulkster then lays down a gun and suit infront of him.

What to you is the definition of a Mobster? If you have an answer to that and are willing to give me or others tips on how to achieve such a feat then please feel free to tell amigo!

Mobsters.

CASHMONEYMILLIONARE scrunched up her face. When she said the word out loud it sounded funny. She tried again.

MO...bsters....

Nope, that wasn't doing it either. See, CASH had a problem. Or, well, she didn't think she had a problem, but others they seemed to believe she did. Specially that pickles fellow. He even tried to make her go to rehab for her yelling problem, but she had managed to invade him so far. Though, he had been putting her through private speech therapy appointments in his doctor office. Through the sessions she was learnings and by learning she was humoring him by saying things in a soft voice. She tried again.

MOBS....

She trailed off as she noticed a shadow creeping towards her. It was Pickles! He was stalker her. So, now she had LilacDelaney stalking her and Dread_Pirate_Pickles. CASH decided to do the most rational thing she could think of. She started screaming.

MOBSTERS!!!!!!

Then she cleared her throat while sending Dread_Pirate_Pickles a very, very nasty stink eye. CASH hoped it made him wet his pants a little.

I believe that ANYONE can be a mobster. Even those who are described to have a plastic personality. Like SOME PEOPLE.

Another look was shot at her newest stalker.

Wouldn't it be boring if we all walked around dressed as men, smoking cigars and doing the stereotypical mobster routine? It would be INSANELY boring. Which is probably how things started out, but then, you guessed it, people started going insane. Which only led to the birth of different personalities. Different walks of life for those involved in crime.

What really matters is that you stick by the code of crime and keep sending that CASH MONEY to your boss.

Kilgore lets out a chuckle of genuine amusement. It wasn't directed toward the oiled-up leather man in yellow tights, his feelings toward that were more along the lines of, we'll say, disdain. No, the involuntary convulsions of giddiness were brought on by how people will try to quantify any damn thing and claim it makes them superior. Easier than proving actual merits to stand on, he figured.

Saying you're more of a mobster than someone else in this business is like saying you're more bipedal than someone else, provided the person you're addressing isn't a disabled war veteran or a wart hog.

The simplest and, indeed, most accurate definition of "mobster" is any member of a group of violent criminals. That's it. Being a mobster is a fucking occupation, not a fashion statement. Do you steal for a living? Do you work with other people who do? Ever use physical attacks or threats thereof to further your interests? If so, you're a mobster.

If you've ever run a smash and grab, picked off a mark, or knocked a few heads together for profit while working with at least one other person, congratulations. You're as much a mobster as anyone else in the Society. Dressing like a dick and running around town doesn't make you any less of a mobster. It just makes you a mobster and a dick.

Kilgore scoffs one last time at the idea.

In our world, a man's worth isn't measured by "how much" of a mobster he is. It's all about who you know and how you go about conducting your incredibly super-mobster dealings. The biggest success stories in Our Business are of those who saw opportunities, executed solid plans to seize them, made friends with influence, then stabbed them in the back and survived through the fallout.

We can make a big deal of Family and loyalty until death, but cold fact is that it's a selfish world. Regardless of how good a friend they are to you or how reliable a soldier you are to them, no one is going to forfeit their own wealth and prosperity to you. That's why, if you're serious about your ambitions, when you see someone occupying a position that you want as your own, you must take it by force. Loyalty until death works from both sides, remember.

Your friends are the ones who are always watching your back. When we're all living in shit, it's easy to help each other get a leg up. But the higher you climb, the broader a target your back presents to those watching it.

Satisfied with his point, the man grins.

It's a beautiful life, Our Business. Love your friends, but know where to bury their bodies when the time comes.