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| MR - It is time for me to leave | Started by: Ruiner on Nov 13, '08 20:03 |
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I did this once before and probably made the biggest error of my mafia life. The only fair way to do this therefore, is to start by apologising to all those individuals I mentioned last time. In my previous goodbye thread I made some frankly disgraceful comments, which I have regretted ever since. I never formally apologised for them and that is something I should have done. I never intended to return and I was well over the line. I hope that this belated apology goes some way to undoing the damage caused. That thread was probably the thing I've tried to distance myself most from as it epitomised everything this game didn't need. With three years exemplary service, I've tried to make up for that. I don't think it would be right if I didn't name a couple of name. Jerusalem, tiggy, RealityGone, SecretAgent, Angie, VendettaJames - last time I singled you all out for abuse and whether you'll read this or even read the one several years ago is totally beside the point. Some people did and therefore I'd like to make my (*touch wood*) last ever post here, begin with a sincere apology for what I said. If it is any consolation, to my knowledge I've never taken anything out of character about anyone into my consideration since. The fact I've 'quit' this game before and returned is probably my second biggest error and one the events of the last few days have come to make me regret even more. You should never go back. When you reach a point where you know you should leave, you should trust that instinct. In my case, I was told of a thread by FullMetal and a promise that no bias would influence admin conduct from now on. Sadly, I took him at this word and made a return to help good friend Briana_Arao run the HMS Friend Ship. As a player my record here is second to none, something I'm sure even my harshest critic will grudgingly accept to be true. I've ran a handful of crews, been a RHM to more than I can count and had total control over this world more than once. I play the game the way it should be played, I've never cheated and I've never broken the rules. I have nothing left to achieve here, because I've honestly done everything I ever wanted to. To be immediately banned, for what, if I did indeed do anything wrong, would be my only offense, makes a sorry statement about the attitude of some people, given the amount of individuals who are running around with several black marks against their names. Despite my failings, I've tolerated in turn quite ridiculous treatment, which I have never let bleed over to punish other users. I've been wrongly admin wacked, called a liar for five months, taunted, abused both on a personal level and in game by users who are now part of the administration. It was really pretty naive of me to expect anything less and further emphasises my regret over returning. In the face of pretty much continuous abuse, I didn't try to ruin the game, I didn't kill anyone without a reason and I tried to do what I thought would keep the most people interested. I hope this thread will not be removed as although it touches on some controversial issues, I really do not wish to damage the game further than the conduct over the last few days has. There is little point therefore in my expansion on the issue of my banning, removal of ban and dual admin wacking as it isn't bringing any of them back. It merely has stained my reputation in a way I won't tolerate. I would take a little time to talk about CP and that aspect of my playing time, hopefully as objectively as I can. Those two letters have probably grown into forming the most hated mafia abbreviation of all time and honestly, we loved it. The hatred was part of the fun for us and you need people to hate from time to time on this game. I'll admit it freely now that I was always glad when Jerusalem was playing, because if nothing else we could start a ridiculous argument over a missing comma in a post and at least liven something up. The amount of people who've become embroiled in one of our pointless, back and forth, threads over the years is frightening, but if nothing else, it is fun to watch two characters who really dislike each other try their best to belittle the other. No amount of abuse is ever going to make me change something. I learned a long time ago that to reply "lolz" or "kk" in the face of 20-30 lines of someone trying to tear you a new one, is one of the most frustrating things in the world. It is also really amusing for the person doing it, so I'd like to send my thanks to all those who allowed me to do that over the months. Getting under your skin was part of the plan. The old days were gone and you needed to up skill if you wanted to survive in the new world. What nobody seemed to realise about CP, it was truly skilled people who brought something to the team. If you didn't add anything, we didn't need you. Some of us, Tallien and I for example never really got along at all. Until we had CP crews, it didn't impact on my playing life. I helped take down gregz0r when he was a leader and I killed Tallien any chance I got. In MafiaReturns, your family are more important than your coffee shop buddies. Whether you liked CP or hated CP, we changed things. We removed the 'old guard' and they didn't like that. We closed #crewleader and we distanced ourselves from admins, who in our opinion, had become too overbearing in the game and playing aspect. We knew the way it was going just wasn't mafia. Sure, we upset a lot of people on the way, but I will always be able to know we did it our way. The CP housed some of the most talented players this game has ever had and it was an honour to be associated with them. With a roster with names like gregz0r, Tallien, Camazotz, Booey, Brian_Arao, Will-C, TesleR and tita on it, it was obvious we had the potential to do great things. I will also be pleased that we got that opportunity for several months collectively, to couple our individual successes. Before I wrap this up, I think I should single some people out for individual mentions, who have significantly influenced this game for me one way or another over the years, shaping my MafiaReturns experience. tiggy - Don't worry, I learnt my mistake last time. Although I've never really been close to you on IRC, over the past couple of weeks we started chatting and I was really glad we finally did. It is amazing that you can be on opposite sides for so long with someone that you would just be on the same team if you forgot who it was you were talking to. I felt kind of like that when I was talking to you and you've greatly impacted MafiaReturns for me over the years. I've been in wars with you and against you. I've been in several crews you been RHM for and your commitment is frightening and commendable. When I made brief cameo appearances during your reign as Iris, each time I felt obligated to join your crew and was glad to do so. It was a real shame we did not get to set you up in Philly for whatever reason, I think it is MafiaReturns' loss. FlyingPig - I'm not going to suck your cock or anything, but you're probably one of the only people I would ever have wanted in CP who we didn't recruit. Sense of humour and obvious ability. Your talent to affiliate with crews without ever being typecast is a lacking trait and one so few have ever managed to accomplish. None have done is so successfully. Jerusalem - I made a real mistake with that thread and even though you probably didn't like me before, you have ever justification not to after that. What I would say is it was something I've regretted ever since and almost immediately. Despite that, the back and forth with you has brightened up many a dull thread and wasted pointless hours of my life. I hope you never took anything I said to you in the past too personally, as ultimately "FakeMan" was a persona I adopted to try and entertain. Over the years I probably moulded that persona into something better than when I ever dealt with you in the past. I hope you find someone else to argue with and they enjoy it as much as I did. Billy Bathtub - While you've ultimately gone too far and driven me from this game, in the beginning, when you were playing fair as just a player, I enjoyed the threads and the comments. You came from nowhere and started attacking me, which for me by that point was virtually unheard of. You amused me so much with that Butters picture that I felt obligated to make it my profile picture. I never held any personal animosity for you over the game aspects and I hoped you would be the same. I guess that hasn't proved to be the case, but we've all done things we regret or will come to. Remember the conversation we had when you were Cleric? I thought we got on great, which I think has made it a shame it ended up like this. I hope you do know what is best for this game and can help it to progress. Flash - Great gun, great friend. Shame you didn't make Don, but I think you will in the future. Ganelon - I always respected you as a player and I think it is a shame you never got into MafiaReturns the way you did Mafia. I think the way you and I spoke in PM yesterday, was the final straw in my deciding to call it a day. When someone you really don't want to be arguing with is listing your faults, you should leave it there. You were a great sport over the pictures and everything. Always someone I could speak to. FrankieFigs - My only regret as Numbers4Glory is falling out with you. You're a great player and someone I was delighted to have in my crew and to have on side. You made me laugh on vent and your ability in game was beyond question. I know you don't understand my reasons for it, but I made the call that I thought was best at the time. Just something I thought I had to say. RealityGone - I didn't really know what to expect when you and I were thrown together in BA's crew, but hell I enjoyed it. You were an asset to the game and you'll be sorely missed. It was nice finally working with you for once. Deano - I never understood your move as Apathy, you had my support and I'm not sure why you felt distrusted - you were my RHM from time to time. Maybe I missed the signs but I really enjoyed having you in the crew. You gave solid advice and were level headed. The failing is mine if I didn't make you feel part of the team, but I was glad to have you on board. SecretAgent - We had a conversation on IRC a while ago and it culminated in a laugh about how you thought I would HQ you immediately etc. Now given what transpired I'm not sure how much of that was genuine on your side, but for me it was nice to finally get to speak to you and to work with you on the game. People told me to suspect you and I didn't. Even so, you were a sport and I was glad I got the chance to work with the focal piece of much of my IRC frustration over the years. Eepster/Belle - I know this is months down the line now, but you were two people who worked and got their reward. I don't know whether you knew how grateful I was to you guys for taking in every Gangster - Wise Guy I had, but it was a big ask and something you did flawlessly. It is pleasing and not all that surprising to see you enjoying success now, talented players in an aspect I've never put much time too as well. Izzy/Squishy - I've never shared the personal relationship with you that others have around here and I'd be surprised if you listed me amongst your friends. That is fine, part of being the FakeMan character was to do things in the way he thought was best. I hope you knew despite that, the respect I held for you over the years and the sincere gratitude I have for restoring this game back to the forerunners of its type. Mario and FullMetal I do not know personally, but I'm sure having contributed much as well. You also have my thanks for providing this game to me for so long. Manny - Killed me too many times, but I hope you took to heart our last conversation. I've never held it against you. I don't know if you are playing or not but you were a great friend and an annoying enemy. The sign of a good player. The United Nations - The UN bank was nothing short of genius. It is a shame the game rules eventually ruled it out. You don't get the respect you ever really deserve. The original CP, a team of talent who dominated the game. Well played guys. I know I've had bad words with more than one of you over the years, but I'd have made space for any of you in any crew of mine. Nino - I know I only briefly right handed for you (and got you killed twice) but you're a talented player. It is obvious. I wish I had been around more for your last run, I never felt right about ending the previous one. I'm glad you got your shot. Shame for us how it ended. Grin. Mikus - Friend, enemy and back again. One of the few things that ever bothered me beyond a character in game was your leaving CP. I know why you did it, but I really disliked you for it. I'm glad we got past that as I considered you part of the inner circle man. "?" is still hilarious. You're a champion and I hope you can help put MafiaReturns on the right track. Sprozza - When you're back off the shelf and playing again, make sure you don't go for the fence. You're better than that. You could be one of the greats. #the_art - The lurkiest channel around. I know we weren't all that great friends for a long time, but this is a great bunch of guys. I always knew we could have a good banter in there with Jon, bighead and Sprozz - Probably kept me sane enough to get this far. #thecp - I'm not singling anything out about any of you. Intelligence, humour, talent and success. The best is what we set out to be. That is what we became. #divinelunacy - I hate this channel. It isn't so much the people in it as it is the mentality it breeds. Cannot stand it. I think that is about everyone. My besties are either banned or won't be reading this anyway, so I think I've tied up all my lose ends. Something I would stress to everyone who plays this game is to remember not everyone is being themselves. I began this game with a view of who I wanted to be and I worked hard to build that reputation for myself. It isn't who I am in real life or anything close to it. This is a form of escapism. To all those who've hated me, rejoice, I'm not coming back. To all those who've loved me, thanks tita. It was never personal with any of you and should we ever run into each other in the real world, I'd be happy to swap stories and have a beer with any of you. It has been great MafiaReturns but my time here is at an end. Thank you. |
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FakeMan, by the way. Just in case. |
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| Reply by: Ruiner at Nov 13, '08 20:09 | |
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| Cheers Fake! | |
| Reply by: FrankieFigs at Nov 13, '08 20:29 | |
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Well atleast you didn't do a "job" on us. Ahhh, you're a funny fucker mate, one of the wittiest I've come across and you're knowledge for the game is something that I would place you up with the likes of FlyingPig. Despite what people believe, games are lacking people like dear old Lip and i don't want to get all emotional and lick his arse but we are missing controversial characters such as him. The CP times were a laugh and is something I enjoyed being a part of thoroughly. What started off as a bunch of English lads taking the piss out of UN and discovering channels on sky such as DW-TV eventually grew to something a little more serious, but everyone kept that jokey aspect to it. The CP was the greatest group of individuals I ever joined, full of witty, English humour most of the time and knowinbg these were people you could truly get along with and trust. I remember leaving when I felt the group was being changed and more people joined in, but for the longest time I only spoke to the likes of you and a couple others and I still knew it was going strong so I was pleased. Anywho, enough about the CP. I'll be sad to not see you around as a player anymore but this isn't really a goodbye. It's more of a "I'll see you later mate" Catch you on em es en chief. |
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| Reply by: Aniki at Nov 13, '08 20:33 | |
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I always try my best to leave real life things out of this game, and there's nothing that angers me more than bringing them into it. For a long time I didn't like you, mostly because of what you said in your goodbye thread. To be perfectly honest, my first thought at the time I read it was "Eh... who's FakeMan and why the fuck does he hate me so much?" We've never been friends, and though I think in a slightly different world we probably could have been good friends, I'll admit I had no better enemy than you. I disliked the CP as an organization and I disliked CP's tactics, but that's mostly because I was one of the ones getting bent over at every opportunity whenever you all were in charge. But you were never boring. I understand your reasons for leaving, hell I absolutely agree with them. I got banned last year for speaking out against antics during the meet, and you got admin wacked for HQing an admin who was, and let's not mince words here, cheating. I honestly expect to be joining you soon, whether it be by my choice or not. While I may not have liked you, the fact that you got adminwacked over this is absolutely disgusting. It's nice to have a Player Conduct Policy, but if the admins themselves aren't going to abide by it, really, what chance does anyone who actually wants to play the game have? I honestly think that with your leaving, and with all of the CP being, essentially, forced to leave the game, that we are diminished as a community. And this concerns me greatly. Unfortunately, my thoughts and opinions don't matter at all, as I'm not one of those in charge who would rather lord personal biases and drunken shenanigans over everyone else. I truly hope that wherever you go from here, you find happiness. - Jer |
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| Reply by: Ritalin at Nov 13, '08 20:37 | |
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Wow.. I just got home from work to find out that you were leaving. We haven't been close and lord knows we've had our "moments", but I have always respected you for your dedication and determination. I only wish that things had been different. Like Ritalin has said, I think in a different world we could have been friends. The past little while that we have been talking on IRC have been surprising and I enjoyed them very much. I'm pretty much speechless right now. This is a day that I did not want to see. Honestly, I didn't. You've had an impact on this game and me as a person. I really can't express how this makes me feel, but I know it is not a sense of relief. Regret and sadness are only a start as to how I am feeling at the moment. I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the MR world and will hopefully be here to welcome you back should you ever decide to peek in and see how things are going for the rest of us. As I said to Tallien the other day, I may have not always agreed with you guys and your actions but there are many times that I did. I just didn't voice it. I couldn't give you the satisfaction and ability to say "I TOLD YOU SO". I hope this isn't goodbye, I hate that word.. So instead I will say.. See you later. Take care Fake, be well, and know that regardless of the bullshit in the past you've got a friend in me. Crap, now I have that stupid song in my head from Toy Story. If you happen to find yourself about on Jaundies.. Don't be afraid to PM me. I'm always up for a chat with you dear. Wow.. Just.. wow.... Take care hun. You will be missed by many. |
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| Reply by: Zoloft at Nov 13, '08 20:57 | |
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I respect you for what you have done. You gave me auth, and were a good leader to me when I was in your family.. things didnt turn out exactly how I had planned, but who are we to plan? Take care of yourself and I understand where you are coming from. |
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| Reply by: StripheCorelli at Nov 13, '08 21:04 | |
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| It's going to be tough finding someone else to lavish Bodyguards on me after I shoot myself | |
| Reply by: Acute at Nov 13, '08 21:49 | |
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| Bye fake, you know your still my boy | |
| Reply by: GrayFox at Nov 14, '08 02:05 | |
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No matter how much I like someone here as a friend, I am always happy to see them leave. The problem with this place is that it consumes too much of our time and energy. People with a competitive streak just can't play it in moderation. The real world is so much more rewarding and enjoyable. Good luck in life, Fake. When this character of mine with the stupid-ass name is dead, I will be joining you. |
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| Reply by: Hi at Nov 14, '08 02:46 | |
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A FAILURE TO CALCULATORS BUT A SUCCESS IN OUR HEARTS TRULY ONE OF THE TOP 10 CP PLAYERS EVER LOLOLOLOL |
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| Reply by: fakemanheartjer at Nov 14, '08 04:48 | |
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Well fakeman, I guess this is good bye. I must say I always found you a little odd at times but then that was probably the persona you were trying to put across. Totally shocked that you gave me a mention, I never realised you got me killed twice though I thought it was only the once. As to that occasion, it's a game and I'd forgotten about it by the time Romeo was up and running though Tallien kept asking me if I was going to do anything silly if he gave me my made promotion. I recall someone saying that they would rather there was 10 good players than 1000 bad ones, yet I find it rather odd that some people feel it necessary to drive away established good players with all their actions. |
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| Reply by: Bingowings at Nov 14, '08 04:49 | |
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Sorry to see you go Fakey we've had some laughs, and your gonna be missed probably more than you know. I hate seeing good players leave, especialy with why your leaving, but I'm glad you feel you've acheived everything you wanted to. And should you ever decide to come back make sure you look me up. Flash-Fire |
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| Reply by: Cadeus at Nov 14, '08 05:28 | |
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| lolz kk | |
| Reply by: TallienCP at Nov 14, '08 06:10 | |
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What a journey my friend. I remember like it was yesterday. CP was always one of my biggest enemies while I was runing about as Anita. It was surely what made the game so fun and interesting for us around that time, knowing that soon enough I would have to deal with fakeman and greg once again. I also remember the day, you were trying to join my family as an incog, I gave you such a hard time that you had to come clean about who you were in order to join the family. Later on, you joined as MuggyC. It was obvious neither of us trusted each other at that point, not totally anyhow. We both decided to take the risk of trusting what so far had been considered the enemy. After MuggyC's death, the famous Ruiner also joined my family. It was then that things changed for us. You joined me with long plans of killing me and I accepted you in my family knowing that as well. It was a challenge, it was great to try and break that out. Two people that so far had never really liked each other and were always on opposite sides. As the days passed by, we talked more and more, became closer and actually we started to have great fun while talking. A trust started to be built, but that little "what if" feeling remained on both of us. We started to take bigger risks and it was soon later that you've become my RHM. It was always my belief, that if you give someone true trust that will be payed off and in this case it was totally true. Ruiner got authed soon after that, even though I knew that you would become an enemy in the future, not because you wished to betray, simple because we both always played the game in the same ways. You would eventually want to be on the top and that was totally fine with me. It was one of the things that made this game exciting to me, fighting against people that could actually get it done. Playing against people that had more then half a brain to pull things off. And you, surely were one of those. Sadly we never got to see how things would have turned out, you died quite early, shot by another great friend of mine at the time. I don't think I have ever told you this, but I know at the time a lot of people expected me to kill the man who shot you, however, you always understood that I couldn't choose between one or the other. I thank you for that. You were probably the only one who has trully understood that. After that with the game getting reset, some of us disappeared from time to time, but it was clear for both of us, that we had built a good friendship and a good trust between each other regarding game. It was then that I joined CP and our run for power started with good old CathyParks. We had great times fighting all together for what we wanted, even though, you sent to my death as Luki, Mr. a1capon3! You also died not long after, but Cheeso was able to hold it long enough for us to get back up there, good old Numbers4Glory. I gotta tell you, it was a blast being your RHM. A lot of people has told me many times, that I forgot how to have fun in this game, I don't think anyone realizes how much fun it is to work allong side with you. You are an excellent player, you have a great sense of humor and dare I say, those that don't know you, also don't know that you do have a sweet side! (gay i know, you can say it, it's fine mongo) It was a shame the way things ended, you trully deserved to continue, but sadly it didn't happen like that. It was trully a punch in the gut for all of us, after so many hours dedicated to get to where we wanted to be. That right there, pretty much ended with any real motivation we had about this game, I know that for you it took a really long time to feel like playing again, until the moment BA set up and you, once again came in to help a buddie. You did your best, you were once again, not only a great player but also an awesome RHM to that family. You once again, decided to do something different, decided to show people a little bit more of yourself, the result is what we see right here in your post. When would people ever imagine you and tiggy would actually be good friends or that you and Jer would actually be talking to each other without any major offences. Sadly once again your character's life was taken for any reason at all. I'm sad to see you go, you have been one my best buddies here for a long time now. I totally understand why you are going though and I absolutely agree with you. I'll keep on bugging you everyday though you big mong. It has been a blast! Much respect, tita |
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| Reply by: Ire at Nov 14, '08 07:37 | |
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You make a good point there Tita. Fakeman is a mongo. |
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| Reply by: fakemanheartjer at Nov 14, '08 07:46 | |
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(sadface) Now I'll NEVER get a custom made FakeMan pro pic! Take care, |
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| Reply by: BruchetteFace at Nov 14, '08 07:53 | |
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Well FakeMan, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed working as a RH to your Captain Eyzlee. At first I was a bit intimidated from all the stuff that went down in the JohnnyAxe/CathyParks etc...war and how you took us down and claimed your power. I never once had ill feelings towards that war and had a lot of respect for you after that. A little while after that I found a home in your crew and saw the way you ran things. You were always professional and had an answer to any question I came to you with. When you decided to set up Eyzlee as Captain and myself as Right Hand, I knew that was going to be a test. The fact that you put trust in two people who were on the other side of the last big war said a lot about giving people chances to prove themselves. I always thought it was bs when people said that you and the rest of the CP group never gave anyone a chance, because from experience, I knew that wasn't true. I was so grateful for that opportunity, and wanted to prove that you made a good choice. Once again you and Tita did a great job with the way things were ran, even though it got off to a slow start, things progressed into what was turning out to be a good flowing working relationship. You had some great ideas with the plans for reviving the business district amongst a few others. I was terribly upset with the whole Jonnie_Reese takedown and the way all that happened. Not just because I was in a high position at the time, but because I know you and the others were working so hard. For it all to be taken down so easily was one of the most unfortunate things i've seen as a player. It never should have been that way. You are a good player, and one that I can say i've learned a thing or two from. I hope that you take care in the real world, and maybe one day we'll see you pop your head in if only just to say hey. I understand your reasoning for leaving, and i'm genuinely sorry to see you go. I know that we haven't talked much if at all since your first Numbers4Glory days, but I just wanted to let you know where I was coming from after all these months afterward, like you said. Take care and I hope all the best for you out there. ~Belle |
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| Reply by: Tatiana at Nov 14, '08 22:48 | |
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| Thanks for your kind words, Belle, I know Fake would say the same if he was still around. I know we've never been friends really but from what Camazotz tells me you are a top girl, it means a lot to see you say that stuff :) | |
| Reply by: TallienCP at Nov 15, '08 06:59 | |
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shame you came back |
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| Reply by: AlexanderJones at Jul 29, '12 12:45 | |
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