Gather round and listen to my story. The story of how a man with a normal advertising job in New York City ended up in the life of crime and with a few screws loose. I mean...who doesn't have a few loose in our line of work. But I digress...

It was 6 months ago....no....7 and a half months...yeah that seems about right. I went by the name Tony Castelli back then. I was a middle class man with a brand new wife and a brand new job at a big shot advertising company in New York City. I had everything I could want at the age of 22. But things weren't going to stay that way. It all changed when I met a man by the name of Johnny McDunham. 

Johnny was newly off the boat from Ireland and he had connections back home in the life of crime. But that wasn't something that I knew until it was too late...

Now I know what you're thinking. Tony, how didn't you know he was a criminal? How couldn't you tell there wasn't something different about him. Well screw you. I was ignorant, young, and too happy to care. Now let me get back to my story.

Well he was hired by the same company I worked for, but he was hired for different purposes and they chose me to be his partner. We were to go out and meet with clients to receive payments and to try and pick up new clients. I wasn't ready for the real job I was going to be doing. 

Our first day on the job together we were told to go pickup a payment from one of our biggest clients. I felt trusted and as if I would even maybe get a promotion soon enough when told they would let me go pick up such an important payment. So we made our way over to a nice bar over in an Irish neighborhood. As we got out of the car I started to make my way to the front door, but Johnny went to the back of the car and pulled out two brief cases. I was confused but didn't want to ask anything because I figured it was just some business information or even new advertisements.

Inside the bar there was only the bartender and 3 sketchy looking guys in the back corner. Of course that was where we were heading. Johnny sat down while I stood behind him. The man across from him was no business man and I was sure of that. Then he introduced himself and I knew it was somebody I had only heard of by name. His name was Gohan and he was a mobster from Philly. I really didn't understand why we were meeting with him. But my best guess was that my business wasn't as legitimate as I thought. Gohan looked Johnny and me up and down with a slight look of approval. Then Johnny opened up the cases and they were filled with cocaine. Followed by one of Gohan's men opening a briefcase of money. A lot of money. The swap was made and we were out of there. Now this continued for a couple of months. 

A few months into my job I was divorced, hooked on cocaine, and a bit of an alcoholic. I had done other exchanges and even extorted a few businesses with Johnny. We only had two other meets with Gohan but I had a feeling I wasn't done seeing him. Well....I was right...

One day I was leaving a bar and on my way back to my apartment in Hells Kitchen when a car drove up and two men dragged me in. I woke up a few hours later and I was sitting across from Gohan in the same bar I first met him in. He looked hard and long at me before speaking..."You remember me right? Yeah of course you do. Even with all those drugs and alcohol in your system you're still functioning. Well I wanted to talk to you. You seem like a man with not many options left in your life. Well I have one for you and I'll only accept a yes." Right then the man next to him showed me a gun. "Now that we understand each other, let me begin. Your bosses have been growing their little operation further and further and now their even coming into my turf in Philly. Now i can't have that. This has been due to the push by your partner Johnny. Him and your bosses have to go. But you don't have to. Even though you're addicted to some bad shit. You're still useful and I can tell that if you'd get off the cocaine at least. You could be a great member of my family. Now if we're gonna be allowing you to live and join us in Philly. You have to take out Johnny and your two idiot bosses. Now do we have an agreement?"

Now let me tell you. I wasn't scared at all.....Well I was scared shitless but that is beside the point. I had never killed anybody and to have the first people I killed be people I knew and worked with for a while was an even harder thought to fathom. But what other choice did I have? I wasn't going to lose my life for those shmucks. 

Now I said yes pretty quickly and Gohan's nice friends dragged me to the car and then drove me back to New York. As I got out of the car they handed me a snub nose pistol and drove off. I walked home and the next day I would have to take out my co-workers. 

The next morning I walked into work with my palms sweating and my heart racing. I took the elevator to the top floor where three offices were. My bosses, Johnny's, and mine. There was one receptionist outside the offices. I walked quickly past her and into the bosses office. They looked up and smiled at me. Then I drew my gun and they both tried to beg me not to do it but I fired two shots into each of them. They dropped lifeless to the ground. I walked out and the receptionist was trying to call the cops. I fired the last bullet into the back of her head.

That was when it happened. I snapped. I couldn't believe I had just killed three people and I still had one I had to kill. I walked into Johnny's office next and he was fumbling with his gun to load it. He looked up at me surprised...."Tony...?" I rushed him and tackled him. He fired off one shot and it hit my leg. But I just took the butt of my gun and beat his skull in. I sat there for the next few minutes just crying as and freaking out. Then Gohan walked in and picked me up off the ground and just put his arm around me as he took me out of the building.

Well there you have it folks. I made my way into the life of crime after having such a normal life. I went from a wife and a job to the single life and drugs. Finally finishing with a few murders under my belt and sobering up to become a mobster in Philly. While also being a bit crazy from the incident. But these days, it seems more crazy to be sane. 

Lights a smoke for Insanity

Remember when you met me by mistake and we discovered ou incestors had a great past together? The way of the mobsters was made for you!

Keep the insanity, lose the sanity

Ah yes of course. Our ancestors go a bit back. Worked closely together and hated each other from afar. But always found each other. Sadly it has happened again my friend. 

But I do like the sound of the last bit there. Keep the Insanity, Lose the Sanity. Has a nice ring to it!

And now you wish to bring that 'hate' to the streets?

faceman frowns and remembers what he was gonig to say next

Of course it has a ring to it, i said it!

Gohan smiled at Insanity as he finished up the story of how he had gotten into the life of crime. He was becoming quite the dependable enforcer in Gohan's operation, and he was here on the streets in an attempt to further his reputation, and perhaps be prepared for the next step in his life of crime.

I remember when you were just a snot nosed little advertising salesmen, bleary eyed and confused in that New York bar. You have come very far, and I am proud of what you have done. An excellent retelling of your life story my friend, well said.

Intrigued by this story brought to the streets, Satan came out of the shadows and decided to off his insight.

Interesting story my friend. Insanity is certainly better than sanity. When you're sane, you're blind to the world. So keep up the good work!