You see bright lights and hear music playing in the streets, you chance your hand and start walking towards all the commotion and see Yajirobe, Cantilion, South-Paw and ToyArmadillo sitting at a huge desk with pens and paper at the ready. You notice that there are lots of different looking clowns walking out in front of them doing stupid tricks and shouting out unfunny jokes….

You notice Yajirobe stand up and raise a megaphone to his lips…

STEP RIGHT UP, STEP RIGHT UP…. WELCOME TO THE FACE FACTOR…DO YOU HAVE THE FACE FACTOR?

GET UP AND PERFORM ON STAGE TO BE THE NEXT FACE FACTOR WINNER!!

You’re thinking damn this sounds hot  this could be some huge competition of some sort that could land you big time in the cash, so you walk over to a wooden box with the words SIGN UP HERE printed above it and write your name down….

All the participants were called onto the stage together to find out what this is about and mainly what the prizes are for…

Yajirobe stands up to address the lucky crowd of competitors…

What a great turn-up, you folks don’t know how lucky you all are to be here and to make it this far into the competition, now for what’s this all about? You’re going to be so happy when you hear…

With the recent death of Faceman, God rest his soul, us judges have all gathered here today to find a new “FACEMAN” and to take his throne as the biggest clown in mafia history.

You will earn all sorts of things if you win this competition, the main prize will be taking his role as the person to be at the blunt end of every one of our jokes. You get to be called several different funny names each day and also get to wear….oh wait for it….THE GOLDEN CLOWN SHOES….Oh yeah baby!

How does that sound? You’re right! That sounds pretty damn epic indeed.

Your first task will be…Think of the best slag ever to call Cantillion…

Simples.

Winners will go through to the next phase, losers I’m sorry but you will be FACE REJECTED and gunged.

Let the compeition begin…

you are a clown.

The first slag for Cantillion! That's right folks "He is a clown!". Step right up to deliver him some more bad news!

How do you solve a problem like Faceman?

I am extremely looking forward to the sob stories we will get to become the next Faceman. Brought up being taunted by mean people, this would put you in great stead to become the whipping boy of our little ‘A’ team.

If you are bright, hard working, funny you will struggle to win this competition. We need the absolute bottom of society to step into the Golden Clown Shoes of this man.

I believe we have also decided to throw in a set of gold clubs and a fondue set as a prize!

Awaits the Cantillon slagging

PANSIES!
*queck*

You do understand Mr Horny Duck that Cantillion is only one person and not a set of people. Pansie will do fine.

Though good effort, I can see you in the final for this competition!

or Pansy*

Maybe I should enter awsell.

Silly boys. Cantillon is lovely.

Topanga it was a fair attempt but I just can't see you making it to the next stage. Thanks for trying though. 

Yajirobe gives Topanga a little smile and a wink

cantillon is a knob jockey who shouldn't be allowed day release