A Ziva stumbles out of a bar. No, that isn't the beginning of a bad joke, it's the beginning of a bad, slightly tipsy speech you bastards!

So yes. A Ziva stumbles out of the bar. An unimpressed and overwhelmingly soberish despite the five tequila shots just downed back to back Cab_Tufting follows afterwards, shaking his head a little. His crew leader was a demanding little bitch, at the end of the day. When the roles had been reversed, he hadn't remembered being such a demanding little swine. Hell, if he'd asked Ziva to piggy back him across a road, she might have genuinely died.

But, getting off topic again. A drunk Ziva stumbles out of a bar. A slightly tipsy but not nearly drunk enough Cab_Tufting follows looking disproving. Are you sitting comfortably? Good, good. Excellent in fact! I bet you're glad you were sitting comfortable before this speech began! It's okay though. The drunk Ziva is ready to begin.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. I have a question to ask. A question most crucial.

What ARE the duties of the right hand man?

A right hand is many things. The strongest and main representative of the crew leader is one. The most trusted man in a crew, fuck even sometimes in a city, is another. Someone that can be trusted and relied upon, in any situation, at any given time, to give their ineffable support in any situation, no matter how dismal it might be, or no matter how certain. And I am sure that many other crew leaders will join me in saying; by this criteria, most of us, if not all, can say we picked correctly.

Cab_Tufting would have been the first choice of right hand for many of my bloodline, since the death of the first Ziva with her right hand, Midol, who is no longer a part of this world. My bloodline swore that following the death of Ziva, we would never take up a bold suit again. But when Cab_Tufting's grandfather came knocking on the door of my grandmother and said, come be my right hand, and then died sad death soon after, our bloodline knew that we had found somebody worthy and trustworthy enough to work with, time and time again. When the opportunity came knocking for me myself to step into a bold suit, my first move was to make contact with Cab and see if he would be willing to venture out into this world again.

But, beyond the ordinary, everyday duties of a right hand man, the day to day, crew stuff, how far do these duties extend, in your opinion?

I have found out tonight, that the duties of a right hand man, apparently do include carrying a vaguely tipsy crew leader with extremely high and uncomfortable shoes, across a bumpy road, for instance. My bloodline realized last time we were authed, that the duties of a right hand can even extend to talking a slightly inebriated crew leader to remove their shoes with laces after a particularly fun night on the town, as well as providing plenty of moral support through other similar tasks, such as hair dos and taking ones coat off. You will, I am sure, agree, that this goes above and beyond the call of duty.

But I am interested to know, what is, to each individual, the duty of the right hand? I'm especially interested to hear the views of people who have been in the right hand spot, and also of the people who have PUT somebody in the right hand spot - the crew leaders. I am also, however, incredibly interested to hear the opinions of those who have followed, the people who have been in the eyes of the observer, the people who truly make our world tick, the members who keep our bank accounts filled, our inbox's buzzing, our crew chat exciting and our shot report day just a little less dismal. I'd like to know what qualities YOU see that a right hand should have. Hell, if you've had a right hand before, I'd like to know who your favourite was, who the best was, and why. If you've been a right hand, just come tell me why you're downright fucking awesome!

Also, no matter what you say, Cab_Tufting is cooler. Even when he won't let me dye his hair purple for money. He's still pretty damn awesome!

Ziva collapses on a nearby bench and waits for the world to join her slightly disjointed thoughts.

Also, Cab_Tufting is very cool.

Also, I would like to state, that I wrote this all by myself, with no input from my very cool right hand man other than his constant moral support in all of my slightly zany endeavors. ALL BY MYSELF GUYS.

Hi there all! I was listening in a little bit! Honor, don't feel bad about being over looked, I use to think that way myself but after some time I realized it's just about being friendly and social, while doing good for your family. If you're valuable for a family then you're extremely important. It just takes time fella, my blood had been on these shores for 16 months before he was offered the position of left hand man (And even then, it was suggested by my good friend, who was our Godfathers rhm).

Work gets noticed, I assure you.

Now then!

What ARE the duties of a right hand man? Personally, my bloodline has been a right hand man to a couple of leaders throughout the times but I'm not someone who is one to join a leader specifically for a position within the upper structure. Every time I've been the #2 to a family I've been heavily involved with the management of the hitsquad and usually I personally like to do the witness statement collecting.

The jobs and responsibilities of a right hand man are just that, act in your leaders place when he isn't around. Deal with any such issues should they arrive and help the family succeed.

Qualities of a right hand? Well.. If anyone knows my blood, they know I'm usually very lazy and unmotivated. Which probally isn't the best of qualities for such a position. I'm a very friendly guy however, I help whatever way I can, I tribute whatever I have left over that isn't being used to help myself. I get to know all of my family, help whenever anything is needed and I do like to be very organized about some things.

I'm not a good example of the 'Quality rhm' honestly. I do the best I possibly can and I offer whatever I can, that's me.. Dan the man.

in my opinion a good RHM will do many things but ill just name a few. A good RHM will back the CL no matter what. He is always on teh same page as the CL. The RHM is the CL when the CL is gone so should always conduct himself in a manor that reflects good upon the family. The RHM should never forget that he is being watched by the outside community and his negative actions could bring down that family.  But also in my opinion the CL has one very important duty when it comes to the RHM as well.  As the RHM will back the CL no matter what, it is the CL's duty to stand by his RHM no matter what. to that statement i will digress real quick.

The RHM is supposed to be willing to die for his CL and will stand by that CL reguardless of the situation. If the CL dies you can bet the RHM will follow in most cases. When i RHM for someone, i expect that the CL will do that as well. You work as a team to protect the family and sometimes city, you must be willing to die as a team also when shit goes south. The only exception to that is if it is proven that the RHM did wrong, then yes it would be more prudent to find a suitable replacement if your RHM isnt doing the job that is expected of him.

Husky on one side of the street eating his favorite snack "Cookies" while listening to what other have said to the topic. When he got a chance, he stand up and look for his translator and nods thank you I think I can handle this one thank you for taking time to teach me how to speak human language. Husky walks directly to the podium and sit straight.

Arf ArfArf! Husky Cough.

Most of my colleagues here have already told what does the RHM job is. Husky stops for a while and looks around. I do agree with all of has been said and done, RHM does not just sit tight in his chair and enjoy his slanted suit, but they have many jobs on their shoulder that has to be done. My ancestors become LHM for many times and never been given a nod to be a RHM of the family, when one of them has a chance to be one in the position under Detroit experiment, he never expect the biggest job of his life and he finds out that the job is not easy. RHM job is like a director in one company, he stand beside the CL all the time and if the CL is not in there he will stand as the leader of the family. If the CL is the brain, RHM is the muscles that relays the order of the CL to their family. He is the person that is not just to be trusted by the leader himself, he is also the person who is trusted by the whole family that is making sure they are safe and doing the right things in this thing of ours. RHM is the voice of the family leader, he is an adviser, he is the personal secretary of the CL, he is the person who would think the safety of his leader rather than himself, he is the personal bodyguard not only of the head of the family but for the whole family. Being RHM is not just he sits idle, he make sure that every single member in his family is safe, coz he will die first for the safety of their family, he will fight for the good of the family, he will reminds you that even you’re only an associates or a captain of the family you are special in your different ways and your voices are always being heard and will not go to waste. RHM is not an easy task, it is not a job, RHM is devotion.

After saying this words Husky hops down the podium and go to the side of the street and start looking for another cookies.

I believe that it's important that the right hand holds the same beliefs about Family as the crew leader. If the right hand does not, how would these people act in the crew leader's best interests, and help run a Family?

After consulting my old journals, I saw that my ancestors liked to sit down with their leaders (or would-be leaders) and discuss what they wanted to do with the family. That way, my ancestors knew how to best use whatever skills they possessed at the time to best help the crew leaders reach and maintain their goals. Because of this, they were able to show initiative and act in the leaders' best interest without constantly asking them what to do next or sitting around waiting to be given something to do.

If the right hands have the same beliefs as their leaders, then they wouldn't have a problem dying for the family if something were to go wrong. I have seen some cases where people contemplated on abandoning ship because the crew leader messed up and gotten the family into so much trouble that the damage was irreversible. Even though we can't predict the future, it's best to minimize such issues as much as possible.

Also, right hands should be prepared to work hard for the Family, if they aren't the hardest-working in the family already. They should get to know everyone in their HQ so that they can be the eyes and ears for their crew leaders. If for some reason the crew leader misses something, the right hand can catch it and correct it.

There are a lot of qualities that I think a right hand should possess, but patience, trustworthiness, and resilience stand out in my mind.

What do I think a right hand shouldn't be? Anything that would alienate members and limit communication. You kill that - you don't have much of a family unit.

The qualities of a right hand person. An interesting question.

My bloodline has done it a few times, I personally don't think I am that great at it but for some reason people ask me to do it and think I am quite good, such is life I guess.

Qualities are simple really, a top quality right hand man is a manager, a political operator, nothing more nothing less. What people frequently fail to understand is being called a manager doesn't make you one. A good manager has but one specific skill, they understand people. It is hard, its actually fucking difficult however with experience and a basic level of reading people you can do it. The ones who tend to fail are the ones who say they excel at it.

Why understanding people you might ask, now that is the million dollar question and if I told you that you would have the inside track into the world of a skilled right hand person.

A slightly dishevelled looking dinosaur steps out of the Agents HQ and ambles up to the lectern.  There is something about the way it walks that smacks of familiarity and as a puff of smoke appears it takes no more than a deft flick of his free hand to remove the hood covering his face.  You soon realise that it is indeed Cab_Tufting and chuckling he begins to speak......

It has taken me a good day and a half to recover from said evening but what can I say, I am a sucker for a damsel in distress!  When that Damsel just happens to be your fearless leader there are no ends to the interesting situations that may ensue.  That said and done, these little things are an interesting addition to my daily remit.  

Though I will humbly concede that I am pretty fucking cool, there are people out there that are way cooler than my good self;  Ziva, the late Iris, Roberto_Carlos(C), Cory_Chase, Chris, the late titaCP, Grin, TokyoZombie, Jenny_Sparks, Jutsin to name but a few and at the end of the day, as long as I remain cooler than AlexMoran, all is well in the world.

What you want from a hand?  An interesting question.

I am weary and need to retire to my quarters, here is something I jotted down earlier though.

Surveying the crowd with a look of formidable approval he pulls a small handwritten note out of his pocket and affixes it to the nearby notice board and glances wearily back at the crowd before sloping back into the HQ...........

• First, quite obvious requirement is implicit trust.  You don't go giving the hand position to any old asshat.  Every single hand I have ever had I have been able to give complete carte blanche on dealing with family matters when I have been away from the streets.  
• Secondly, you need someone that that can offer an alternative in any given situation; Someone who will always take the time to sum up what the best course of action in any given situation from a different perspective is a handy thing to have around.
• You want someone who can speak their mind eloquently and represent you well within your family and  the community as a whole.  Although a hugely vocal hand isn't a huge necessity it is a good thing to have around.   

Do you need someone who trains a massive gun? No.

Do you need someone who is a quick ranker? No.

A few of the other speakers here have said something similar but in short:

1. You want an experienced bloodline, not necessarily with leadership experience but somewhat experienced.  
2. You want a man manager, even if you are good with people yourself a people person hand always helps.  
3. It has to be someone that puts time in, ideally more than you whilst ALWAYS being someone you know you can implicitly trust. 

To me, the duties of a Right Hand are no different from the Crewleader.

After all, the RH is the Crewleader when he or she isn't around. However every single leader has their own way of working and some rely heavily on their RH, where as some dislike the idea of delegating and try and handle everything personally, rendering the Right Hand practically pointless. Personally I think a happy medium is needed.

A good right hand is needed as it shows from the off you are a good leader, everyone who is anyone in this life knows that the Right Hand is strongest piece of your family that any leader needs, they can be the difference between being an empty house for weeks after setting up shop, or putting up a closed for business sign.

Apologies, I'm deviating slightly from the topic at hand.. I'd really like to elaborate on it but sadly it seems my view is short and sweet, the duties of a Right Hand mirror exactly that of the Leader themselves. We treat Right Hands with the same respect as we do a leader because of the fact that the position is so highly valued, so its only fair that we expect their duties to be equal to that elevated status in which we place them.

As the glorious AlexMoran descended on the Streets in all his....well,glory, whispers were heard 'oh wow, it's AlexMoran again, I wonder what pearls of wisdom he has to give' 'just look at him,so confident, so powerful...such an alpha' even a certain kitten was heard saying 'god, I wish I looked that good in a tutu'. He finally stopped and cleared his throat, and as if on cue, the whispers stopped. 

Well.... considering I have been named as the only person that the absolutely coolest of the cool, Cab_Tufting aspires to be cooler than, it would seem quite irresponsible of me to not speak on this topic that has brought out quite a few interesting opinions. 

Firstly, I do not think that there is anything as a single standard for RHM awesomness. Everybody who has ever worn a bold suit has a different idea of their perfect RH and if they were matched with someone else's idea of the perfect RH.... it is indeed debatable whether or not they would be successful. Would Deimne have been Deimne if he didn't have Sherminator,ScreamingButterfly and the others who occupied the RH office in his HQ? Probably not but would Deimne have been Deimne if he had the Right Hand Men/Women who served Marietta? We'll never know. 

Furthermore, the relationship between a crewleader and his/her right hand man is something that is quite apart from the normal relationship between two mobsters(obv,right? Still... I love the sound of my voice) This is the only relationship that the Gods recognize. You could say you're somebody's spouse,master,slave,pet dog, flying blob of awesomness...what the fuck ever but if that person runs afoul of the Gods, you're safe...but god forbid you have that person as your Right Hand Man...cue the banhamma! or at least the mysterious plane of reality called the admin jail. This obviously means a crew leader must...above all else.. trust his/her right hand man.If not...they're fucked.

Ok, we've got one requirement... trust. The next one, in my opinion is focus. Even when the crew leader looses sight of a particular target, it is the job of the Right Hand Man to right the ship, to set it on the proper course. A crew leader(as far as I've seen at least) has a large amount of work on his/her plate...a mix of issues inside and outside of the Family but the Right Hand Man's primary objective concerns the Family. So, it is quite understandable if a Crew Leader looses sight of what is best for the Family but...if the RHM is not there to go 'Mate...you've got to be fucking retarded if you're planning on doing that'...well, they're fucked.

Third requirement, courage. Not only the traditional courage which involves going 'Mah citeh fo laif yo!' just before someone shoots you in the face during... that is kinda expected from every single member of the family, in my opinion at least. This courage is something that runs deeper. A good Right Hand Man should know when to stand up to his Crew Leader. He should know where to do it and how do it. You don't correct your Boss in public... oh no, you do it in private and in such a way that he understands. It could be throwing a hammer at his head or having a heart to heart with him...doesn't matter. What matters is the survival of the Family. This trait is tied in very well with focus, so could be thought of as an extension of the same but I don't feel it is something as simple as a mere extension. You might know what to do but if you don't have the balls to say it....you're fucked.

Finally....a Right Hand Man should be able to have the Family in check. As I've mentioned before, a CL has loads of duties as does the Right Hand Man,tbh but it mainly revolves around the inner workings of the Family. Yes, he/she stands in when the CL isn't around but it isn't a permanent responsibility? So,yeah.... a RHM man should not only know when to scream at the CL, he should know when to look an associate in the face and go 'I will fucking destroy you if you do this' and he must also know when to sit down and have a chat with said associate. He should know who deserve their promotions...who is working hard...who is slacking....who is having troubles with other mobsters...everything.For you could be the most well connected crew leader ever...with connections in every single crew in this world..you might have the biggest gun ever made...but if you loose touch with your own Family AND have a shitty Right Hand Man...who does the same....you're fucked. 

Well, I am sure there are more requirements for a perfect RHM but currently...this is all I got.