As the old Russian man was pushing his cart through the street, he passed a small gathering of people involved in a hefty discussion regarding a matter, seemingly very personal to them.
Cuss words were being used frequently and there was a lot of hand gestures, which only put more wight on the topic. 

Exhausted from pushing the heavy cart he decided to take a water break and went on listening to the speech...

After a few minutes and half a bottle of water he pulled up his cart to the side of the street...

"CARROTS... FRESH CARROTS. HUGE CARROTS, PIE STUFFING CARROTS... GET YOUR CARROTS HERE." 

- Excuse me Mister..
*He turned around and his sight were met by the most adorable little girl*
- yes little princess? What can this humble old man do for you?
- I was wondering what Pie Stuffing Carrots are. 
*He kneeled down in front of her*
- Well little princess, sometimes when you bake a pie, the crust cracks and and all the shit that is inside it comes out and ruins everything. Those times it comes handy to have a carrot or two in order to stuff those pie holes.

Standing alone in the cold night air, Deadpool looks at the ground.

"I thought it was a funny joke..."

joins Deadpool in the cold night.

" I also thought this was a joke"

Like I said earlier guys. If you think it's funny, try looking up a female relative as a successor sometime. It becomes less and less funny when you realize that there are plenty of people out there who think that that view is a perfectly reasonable one to take.

Ok, I decided to go the funny route and get people to chill out..think I've succeeded to a certain degree. 

However, I find these accusations of 'misogyny' to be fucking laughable. Even more so than the original joke,even. 

Desmand here hates women? Wow. Kinda harsh,don't you think? Maybe it's this kind of reaction that reinforces certain other stereotypes about how certain women can get extremely irritated about certain topics at certain times? Well, I wouldn't know which is why I am asking this question.

Moving on. Well,I am going to stay focused on this accusation so guess I'm just moving sideways. Learn how to take a fucking joke. When Maple came to Streets and said and I quote 'landing a man for a one night stand is like walking. Just head out the door and you’re sure to score!'...none of the men went 'ZOMGZOR, WE R SENSITIVE BEINGS, WE WANT OUR HAIR BRUSHED TOO' they took the joke as it was intended...as a joke and moved the fuck on. It's called banter..something you're very good at,Ziva.

Which poses in me a....confusion of sorts. Are you here really because you're offended? I find that VERY hard to believe from my experiences with your blood or maybe you're here just because...well, it's fun to stir the pot once in a while,isn't it? Maybe it's a discussion on IRC Avenue about how European football is superior to the American version or maybe it's a thread that was clearly intended to be a joke. Whatever the case, must be fun to muddy the waters with a very one sided opinion(with no foundation whatsoever,btw) and taking on all comers,yeah? 

I think all of you are missing the fact that Mr Desmand doesnt hate women... He wishes he was one.

Male for female, I'd be happy to suckle on Desmand.

Ah Alex, you know me. I'll have an argument with my reflection if I'm bored enough.

I do happen to be finding some elements of this world deplorably boring at the moment, and one does have to make ones own fun at times.

But, like I said, you know me, you know my blood. You know that if I believe something, I don't give a shit who tells me I'm wrong, I'll argue my point til it's conclusively proved otherwise - if it's something that I believe in.

Although for the record, I think the American football vs European football debates are mostly triggered by those who wish to call European football - y'know, the one where 90% of the game is played with feet, and you score your points by kicking the ball into the net, soccer, so that a game played mostly with the hands, can be referred to as football.

And I still fail to see how my logic is wrong there.

Anyhow. Not what is up for discussion here.

Mr Moran, the fact that there is a stereotype about women fucking and flirting their way to the top around here, is one that greatly pisses me off. Like I've already said, it devalues the hard work that many of us do, it writes us off as less as we are, etc. As I've also already said, I believe that Desmand is furthering that stereotype with this thread. Sure, most of us can put this into context, sure it can be read as a joke - although (as again, I've already said), in my opinion, one in poor taste, but for those who fail to put it into that context.. that stereotype sticks again. And it's actually quite the little case he builds for women getting preferential treatment.

Completely ignoring, of course, that not every woman who gets auth even chooses to share what she looks like, or might not, uh, be the most attractive, or be the type of person that you'd pay to keep their clothes on. Makes it sound like we all airhead our way to the top.

I just don't really see the need for it.

Also, Mr Moran, you can write this off as banter sure. Maybe you found his joke funny. But looking at it purely from a joke perspective, it was crap anyway. And banter, is supposed to be witty/humorous. I don't think this was anything other than lazy.

Anarchy sits back taking a sip from his glass of whiskey.

This is a joke, not a single fucking point that you've illustrated  is true. Because I can assure you I'm at least two of the five, yet. I've gotten auth even though it wasn't necessary for them to give me auth.

What you've said is nothing but horse shit attempting to make other mobsters look down upon you and make them think you're a fool. If that was what you were set out to do. Then you've succeeded, Desmand.

You're right Anarchy. It IS a joke and he's stated that from the beginning. It's not 'nescessary' to do anything in this world but live and die. A fool you might say? I found the joke humorous as did a plethora of other mobsters. If it's not your cup of tea, that's fine. Don't come and bash someone because you didn't like there joke.

Dan sighs, apparently people cannot understand the joke part of jokes. He reaffirms himself there is still some hope in humanity in the future however.

Any who, I'm back to being an inactive person, forget I even spoke here.

Danielle The (Wo)Man goes back and hopes no one remembers that they're actually a man in hope of free auth.

Any who, joking aside. I believe this was quite funny. I laughed a bit as did others I know of. YOU GO DESMAND. Dan throws pennies at Desmand in an attempt to make it rain on him.

I apologise that you feel that way Ziva. If there was a way I could have the history books amended I would. That should "You're not a beaver." Is that better now? So as not to appear misogynistic I should stress that the beavers can be male or female or transgender or whatever the hell they feel like being. 

Desmand starts to worry that he hasn't covered all the bases. 

I should add though that a man who is paid to tell jokes is often referring to as a comedian. And without boasting I was well paid with many privately acknowledged plaudits for this "crap lazy joke."

And since you missed the first line Anarchy...little too much whiskey perhaps; I say "in the traditional way." Your ascension to crew leader wasn't traditional you got the job through (in Zivas words albeit paraphrased,) a shit competition that's devaluing the crew leader position. Not a view I hold however, though I have noted that the shit crew leaders will be found out one way or another. As for your last part I honestly don't even understand what you are referring to. Make other mobsters look down on me? How and why would I do that? I'm not trying to be a jester, that's probably the last image I'm trying to give off. Guess I've failed now though and all the mobsters think I'm a fool...

I don't think the history books need amending, Desmand. We all know that none of us will ever truly rule this thing of ours, because the simple fact of the matter IS that the beaver overlords are controlling every single one of them. Although I'm yet to meet the person who can get close enough to the radioactive bastards to tell what gender they are.

Ziva shrugs at Desmand's self proclamation of being a comedian.

And I've been paid nicely for my words here too. I've had mails supporting what I've been saying here.

And whether I'd been paid to say it or not, I'd still stand up for what I believe.

What I believe just so happens to be, that that part of your joke was crap and lazy, and did devalue the rest.

Kinda was a bad joke, but to fall into it was foolish. The point of the speech was to try to name things that would be controversial for someone reading it

So, with that said, arguing a certain genders treatment is uncouth. I understand the point of the statement, and have made it similarly in the past. However, it does not define every single woman. Those women? I tend to look down on. The others, not so much. The ones that don't put out etc... Tend to be scrutinized more actually. They're looked at in a different way. People argue their leadership skills aren't up to par... Sometimes they're right. Sometimes wrong. It's the same with guys, but there are just far more of us in this position. 

Ziva, I'm sorry if you were offended, but that was the point of the first statement, to offend. If anyone wants to argue me otherwise, feel free... If you want to say it was a joke, go ahead, but it was a joke without any taste at all... perhaps not malicious intent, but it was malicious and misogynist. It was something that shouldn't have been said in this world, and people need to grow up albeit on both sides... However, the aggressor should be the first to apologize.

Desmand 4 Auth!

Nicely written thread my fine sponsor!