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Talk Like A Man Started by: Sandman on Jan 07, '14 17:50
Extreme icon and hardcore champion of MafiaReturns Sandman enters a restaurant followed by an army of fans, all of whom chant his name in unison wherever he goes. He is heralded as a man's man. A beer-swilling, cigarette smoking, ass-kicker of a brute. He takes a seat and orders his meal; a steak so rare it still has a pulse. He takes a bite as his fans continue to cheer, waiting to hear what he has to say. After a moment, Sandman looks up to his fans and finally speaks.


"NOM NOM NOM NOM"


The fans go silent. They look at Sandman confused and make a face at him that looks like :S


"ZOMG this r sum of the bestest foodz I ever haz LOLzers


No one laughs. A wave of disappointment washes over his fans as Sandman gets up and walks across the street to an adjacent corner. A female walks by. Sandman speaks to her in a manner so unmasculine and girlish he should be embarrassed, even though he isn't. The fans continue not laughing. The female gives him a courtesy response and keeps walking while the rest of the mafia looks on at him in disgust, embarrassed for him. The cheers turn to boos. They drag Sandman out into the middle of the street and beat the shit out of him. He is stripped of his championship title and considered a hardcore icon no longer. The end.

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After a busy morning of hand holding, compliments, and useless brain melting coffeeshop banter, Ragnarok stumbled upon the half lifeless body of Sandman. The Hardcore Icon had always held a special place in his heart, but today Ragnarok was in a dark and twisted mood. He kicked the chain smoking bastard in the ribs a few times, then he picked up a well placed broom from the edge of the building. After a few good wacks to the back and ribs, Ragnarok dropped the broom and stood over the defeated indy legend.

A fan rounds the corner and spots the fallen icon

 

"OMGF, WTF, BFF'

 

before another word falls out of the mouth breathers jaw, Ragnarok shoots him in the face. With no need or desire to hid the bodies, he strolls about his day for another round of coffeeshop dealings and hubcap stealing.

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Groggily, Sandman staggers to his feet after being kicked in the ribs by the ruthless Ragnarok. He reaches for his steel chair, but cannot find it. He settles for a large trout and slaps him with it.
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Stonewall is coming, he has expressed an interest in men with shaven torsos writhing around.

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Sandman! Sandman!

Tokyo had been following along with this crowd chanting one word for about a half an hour. She had picked them up, or they had picked her up, down at the hot dog stand. Tokyo had been drooling over the processed linked meat as the crowd streamed by. She could smell their hot sweaty star crazed bodies. Her eyes widened, she needed to follow. A few moments later she was one with the crowd.

Sandman! Sandman!

Tokyo hoped she would be able to pick up lunch from one the bag of bones. They were all memorized at some person in the front and they had made her abandon all the hot dogs. Maybe she'd take the leg off the skinny blonde or the go for the neck of the taller guy with the gray fedora. She licked her lips as the hunger rose within her. Just as she was about to make her move the crowd stopped chanting. What was going on?!?!

​The crowd starting to dissipate. Each person going their separate ways. How very anti climatic. Tokyo's shoulders slumped in disappointment. She just had a whole crowd to lure back to her favorite back alley. They were already hypnotized, it would have been easy. Instead Tokyo decided to follow the guy who just led her to a tall building, a bank. She had already robbed a bank this week! 

Tokyo turned around and retraced her steps. As she was about to give up and go find another hot dog cart she stumbled upon Sandman in the middle of the streets. 

Sandman!

She leaned down and took a bite out of his shoulder. The guy was already bleeding, no one was coming to save him and she was hungry. 

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Remember this guy? Sandman? I wonder what he was known for?
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In all seriousness there are alleged men on here absent balls and choose to act like cutesy women :S.
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Paul-Bunyan we have quite the share of idiots in this world. I wonder what keeps prompting them to speak out of turn :S

Weird huh!!
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