Considering carefully what Ragnarok has to say, Ziva lights up a cigarette and thinks for a moment, back through the lives and journals of her ancestors. Thinking on what their hardest moments had been, what their biggest regrets had been.

Well, Ragnarok. I think it's fair to say that my bloodline has never been the most influential. I've not been one to cause cities to crumble, I've not been one to tear a HQ to the ground. It's not been my way and it's not really been the way of my ancestors. Where we have been involved in carnage, it hasn't been in the decision, it's been in the execution.

In terms of decisions in our world, there's not really much to pick at that I could wish to change in terms of the actions of myself and my bloodline.

There are a couple of regrets, maybe, but nothing too much that I'm sure could've been changed.

One of those regrets is that when my Grandmother, Anna, was right hand to Cab_Tufting in Philadelphia, that run didn't last nearly long enough. I know I probably wouldn't have stepped foot into this world yet had that run gone on longer, but Cab was one of the best bosses in that short time that you could ask to work for.

It's hard to label that a regret, though, when that run and this current run have gone with only a short break in between, and I now have the grandson of that Cab as my right hand and a fantastic crew.

Another regret, is the way to which the life of my Great-Great Grandmother, the original Ziva, came to an end. The decision of the Gods was the decision of the Gods, and I'm not questioning that, but it is hard as a bloodline to not think that far too many members of Fort Hubcaps were let down by the way things turned out. And at the end of the day, the blame for that rests on my ancestors own shoulders.

The third, which IS a regret in some ways, even though the fantastic experiences with crews and the new friendships made along the way may not have happened had the chips fallen this way, I kinda regret that the Philadelphia/New York side of the May war did lose. Mostly for the reason that my blood had a lot of friends in Philadelphia at the time and it would've been nice to have had an ancestor work under DeadlySin's rule.

I have to say though, I don't regret the way things have turned out. I think I've had a damn good run of opportunities in my bloodlines time on these shores. Everything happens for a reason.

Danger slips out into the darkness of the streets. Addressing no one but the speaker in particular as her eyes glaze over in remembrance of her ancestors.

I do find myself slipping into the past lately. Doesn't it seem greener there than currently? I suppose looks can be deceiving. Moving on.

There are things that I wish I could do over from my bloodlines mistakes. Regrets in a few choices I have made, possibly in a few friendships I let slide because they weren't what I wanted at the time. When you are young and fresh you tend to push things to the side thinking "I'll deal with it later." Later never comes for some of the things you have pushed aside.

My bloodline has dug itself into the ground and has come back up relatively unharmed. I say that now but it wasn't an easy trip to go from blacklisted from all 8 cities (when there were 8) to being a right hand to a Godfather in Queens. Took a lot of time and many lessons to get there.

One of the regrets I have is not learning sooner. Stubborn? Very much so. I never take the easy route if I can take the harder, less traveled. Does my stubbornness get in the way of many things? Yes. Some days I'd like to think I would change and be more easy going but I have strong beliefs. They have made me who I am and what I would willingly put myself in the line of fire for. Do those beliefs seem stupid? To some I would guess so but we aren't all the same. What I think isn't what the next person thinks.

So yes I do find myself pondering a few regrets from time to time. Sometimes I want to change them but I think they have made me better in some ways. Not all, but some.

If its specific examples you're looking for, shit I could probably give you a litany of stories.I suppose if I had to whittle it down to one regrettable moment in my lineage, it was an ancestor of mine, a nice old lady named LudariusCanesMom, who was drawn back into This Thing Of Ours by a friend to serve as a Right Hand Man on the lad's bloodline's first crew leader opportunity. The old menopausal bat committed suicide over something I feel no need to mention here, but we'll assume it was over something undesirable. Several days after her suicide,her former leader was slain. Looking back, it was an experiment city destine to fail just like all experiment cities are, but I wish she hadn't suicided. She should have gone down with her leader.

My ancestors have defied Godfathers and attacked other crews, been banned from their own city, and killed Godfather's RHMs as a Don because they pissed them off in coffeeshops. I don't regret any of that shit. But the LudariusCanesMom thing still bothers me quite a bit. Wish it had played out different.