You wake up in the morning, start your coffee, do whatever it is you do in the shower whether faucet or no faucet, make a fucking bagel, and step outdoors for a morning inhale of the golden smell of food markets as well as a fresh dump left by the dog Ms. Johnson walks every morning. 

"Fuck you Fido," you say under your breathe and look down to see a paper staring back up at you. Curious you grab the roll and step inside. 

Sitting at the table with your fresh brewed coffee and fucking bagel you unroll the newspaper. On the front page the headline reads:

Chaos in NY!

Catching your eye you get excited and decide to give it a read. 

The Wiggle Tribune                                           Issue 1

 Chaos in NY!

Written By: Cary Gilmore

We have all bore witness to the events that surrounded New York. It has been crazy to say the least, starting with the Issues with Lady Fighter, to Paul_Klint to the controversial competitions that resulted in complete failure. 

A lot of characters have been pulled out of the controversy surrounding it, so if you ask this man here, then I would have to say that it was a positive after all. It start many speeches, and many complaints, but it sparked life in the street that was once baron. I have taken the time to talk to people about this situation with there names changed for safety to get a feel on their thoughts of the subject. 

"I feel that it was a complete embarrassment to the world we live in. Where organization, structure is our way of life we destroyed that very aspect. It shows a lack of ability to create a position city when your holding a popularity contest in order to fill the districts."

"I may not have agreed with the way it was conducted. With that being said I don't see anything wrong with giving people who want a chance at leadership to get one. We saw a negative outcome but that does not mean that it couldn't have worked."

"I'm tired of hearing about it, but I do have this to say. Pathetic." 

"People are making a big deal about how this was brought about. The fact is, the leaders of this world made a decision, we live by what they decide so it was a decision that we followed. Had everyone not wanted to participate they shouldn't have voted." 

"Are you sure you want me thoughts? Ok here they are. It was a scam, it's a ploy to prevent the Council, better yet we might as well toss this Council out the door and say Czyhlarz, from looking like a controlling entity. What better way to make yourselves look better then a publicity stunt to shine negative light off that theory by saying "Look at us we are giving those who never had a chance a chance!" 

And what happened? They were shot forced to move, forced to step down, forced into districts, all of which involved the so called council that implemented a rule stating no outside interference. If you can't see it for what it is, then you should have your eyes checked." 

"Well hunny, 

I think it's was a wonderful and sweet idea. It gave people a chance, whether or not they make it we won't know until the end but I agree. It's a wonderful and delightful idea sweetie." 

This writers opinion is pretty neutral. I don't swing one way or another, I do know though that regardless of anything else, it has brought something to talk about. I'm a fan of talking so in a sense, it was a benefit to me and this world.

Now all we are left with is the future, whatever that may bring to NY.  

WhereWasI

Written by: TraumaTech

You would think that a confused man as far as location is concerned, wouldn't be so angry all the time. It's obvious this man has some temper issues. Many have grown tired of his rants. Although that does not stop the man who can't even remember the last place he'd been.

Stick up for what he believes in and never backing down really makes him on of the most consistent speakers we have seen. May I ask though, is he over doing it? 

Going toe to toe with some of the high ranks within the world, to defending accusations mad by KuKu- he has had his fair share of battles as of late. There must be a breaking point. Whenever you make a name for yourself as he has stated with his "I brought the street back," remarks he's going to find enemies with every comment. Now I know his intentions are good, and maybe he really has found a spark within the community with heated debate. 

I for one have grown sick of it. Don't get me wrong, I show me man respect always will. Although as much as I may respect him, I also disagree with having the ability to disrespect Crew Leaders and fellow mafioso's so commonly. It's one thing to defend yourself, but it seems that he is so far on the defensive that no matter where his name comes into play he wants to debate the sentence in which he was spoken. Has he gotten to use to heated argument that he's immediately protecting himself? 

I hope he continues his presence as it does spark good conversation from time to time and interesting theories no matter how repetitive it may seem. I'm just curious on how long he can keep it up for. 

You get auth, you get auth and you get auth! Everyone gets an Auth!

Written by: TraumaTech

So with the new districts we have seen a lot of people in Bold suits. When will this end? 

Here's a question, will the new people coming to the shores be enough to fill each of these auths? I don't see it happening. It's starting to destroy the respect that a crew leader position once came with. Not only that but what is the point in having Bolds with no members? 

My proposition, cap the district to having three auths, including Godfathers and their under boss. I think it will stabilize the community better, not only giving families a chance to fill and work as one, but it prevents the to many chiefs and not enough Indians result. Which always has a negative outcome no matter what situation it may pertain too. 

Will times change to maybe fit population? Or will there soon be a day where we see more Bold suits then we do active working mafioso's. 

Stealthy Bastids

Written by: JamesTuttle

Once again we have been plagued by those to scared to show their faces. Is this a revolution? 

I think not, as I matter of fact the band those making these shots are rather entertaining more then they are feared. Not doing any damage, attempting to cause chaos, and really wasting their time trying to promote a belief that we won't know about until they are caught, or we will never know. 

My thoughts on this subject are as follows. It's obviously someone trying to start something over nothing, that I think we can all gather. What do you expect to accomplish though by doing so? Missing body guards isn't really completing any sort of financial hardship, missing bodyguards isn't hurting anyone's strength. So really the only thing you are hurting are your own depression and anger. I could imagine it's a bit frustrating not getting anything achieved by doing so. 

If your doing it for the laughs, you might as well quit, all your doing is damaging your own reputation once you have been caught. Your obviously hiding within a family who is giving you somewhat trust by housing you to begin with. That may end whatever trust you may want in the future. 

It's rather cowardly. So I say this, if you want to make a difference, then do it the right way. The legit way within the ranks. Taking pot shots when you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn isn't scary, it's hilarious. 

CLASSIFIEDS

Animal Research 

Looking for a few human volunteers to take injections from DNA taken from random species of the animal kingdom. Short on cash? Stop by your local hospital today to sign up. 

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the new solution to that much hated issue is in the Tar.


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Single White Male Looking:

Now I want to be straight up, if you name is Tanya I can't deal with it. My recent wife slept with the clown I had paid for my sons birthday party and the name alone brings back the memory of walking into that bedroom finding bobo not top of her with that big red nose. I never knew you could do suck things with balloon animals. You know on second thought, fuck this, I'll stick with my imagination. 

 

Are your kids stepping out of line? Are they skipping school to have with the cool kids in the forest by the supermarket?

Have they lost all respect for your authority?

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"That's right, I'll kick their ass back into shape."

With 20 years of experience, and a professional in kick boxing, KrookedC will have your kids in class and respecting you in no time. They may not be able to walk after but at least it breaks a vicious cycle. 

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Looking for work? Wiggle pays 500,000 for the work you do. He in engaging in a way to let the people's voices be heard without the problem with back lash. Read writing below for more information. Thank you Wiggle for the chance to voice my opinion. 

The Wiggle Tribune is looking for writers. As you can see everyone who has taken the time to put work into the paper has been kept to false identity to prevent reprisal. We at Wiggle Tribune promote the freedom of speech and the rights of the media. These are not the veiws of WiggleButt himself but he is used to promote the paper. Being the first addition there will be more to come in the following editions as we grow. Read and enjoy. All employee's are paid 500,000 for their work.