AssChicken,

Upon landing on these shores, I have seen many "mafiosos" refer to you with a straight face. How have we degraded as a whole to the point where it is acceptable to invite, promote and endorse a "mobster" named "AssChicken". Have we lost all sense of what this used to be about. Is there really going to be a day where we a ruled with an iron fist from Godfather AssChicken ? 

Seriously, ladies & gents... go look in the mirror and say "AssChicken" and see if you do not laugh.. if you don't .. please check for a soul and a pulse. This makes me wonder how wounded has this world become. Everyone holds rank. Thugs dictate orders to Consiglieres. The titles have become nonsensical. The districts are confusing unless you engulf your entire life into it. The same names and the same bold. The repeated mistakes and the shortlived aspect of everyone's journey.

The joy WAS in the journey.. within a month .. you MIGHT be a Made Man but you aren't invited to the war room or given any information.. you can be a district head within 15 days if you play your cards right.. or just happen to have been somebody's offspring.

Back to subject at hand.... AssChicken... I remember a young and valiant man of honor named, "FARTS" .. and he was sponsored. Godfather FARTS .. 

Where are we heading? This has become a pissing contest of mediocrity. My bloodline has never held the title of Don and only twice Consigliere yet was responsible for many cities and deaths due to his ability to manuever and manipulate trust and assume a position to be able to spread the fire and it was fun and exciting. Nowadays, calling somebody a "jerk" or an "asschicken" is grounds for war.. we used to debate war and discuss it and plan it and it was exciting!

Now it's just a weekly douche move by the same powers that be... 

But really... AssChicken?

-PopPopShinebox

Dan had been ill for weeks now. He had become quite delusional while viewing things. He saw a crazy man spouting some insane things. Dan was sick but he still knew this fellow knew nothing. Dan picked up a rock meant for NealCaffrey and tossed it at the insane man.

'KUKU, I CHOOSE YOU!' Dan saw people staring, he didn't care. He could play this off. 'USE KUKU INSULT.' Dan simply laughed as people began to stare at him.

But yeah, in the words of Kuku, you're and idiot.

"Where are we heading? This has become a pissing contest of mediocrity. My bloodline has never held the title of Don and only twice Consigliere yet was responsible for many cities and deaths due to his ability to manuever and manipulate trust and assume a position to be able to spread the fire and it was fun and exciting. Nowadays, calling somebody a "jerk" or an "asschicken" is grounds for war.. we used to debate war and discuss it and plan it and it was exciting!"

You weren't able to manuever or manipulate anyone simple as your bloodline did some dumb shit and got yourself killed , like the time you tried to talk loud on irc and forgot to change your nick.

Oh let us not forget the time you shot a right hand in your own district because "you thought you were pping her"  then ended up faking a witness statement getting someone else killed then when you got caught and your friend was killed. You think to high of yourself bud and need to take yourself down a level.

Now the planning of war is still here I actually think with the new bg system it's a little more tricky to gauge where bodyguards are at as they can be fully trained half trained or all at random it adds a nice little variable , now to your point where the smallest action causes a war I would say to you it's about survival of the fittest if you feel like there is grounds for a war and it will keep your city safe do it hell if you have the guns to do it you can just go guns blazing not the smartest approach but this is the mafia where we don't need a reason to do what we do we are criminals.

Hey Goodfellas.. yeah.. people die when I want them to.. if I cared enough I could get you whacked.. 

 

JohnnyNoname was standing next to the very sick DantheMan, he heard squabbling coming from the streets and he squinted his eyes looking towards the squabbling.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"I think it is, that's an Asschicken Dan!" "Very rare breed, I thought I had the last of my kind in my family."

"I feel bad for that one though, totally a vegetable by now, look at him walking in circles with no feathers and squabbling nonsense." 

Johnny reaches into his pocket and pulled out his last cough drop, handing it to Dan.

Dan smiles and accepts the coughdrop.

'Well thank you Johnny boy! I do think it is an Asschicken! Perhaps your asschicken will be happy to see the half breed of his kind? Aye, he looks pretty vegetated.'

Dan coughs a little and laughs, nearly causing himself a cough attack in the process.

'You should probably stay a couple feet away from me, Johnny.'

Where are we heading? This has become a pissing contest of mediocrity. My bloodline has never held the title of Don and only twice Consigliere yet was responsible for many cities and deaths due to his ability to manuever and manipulate trust and assume a position to be able to spread the fire and it was fun and exciting. Nowadays, calling somebody a "jerk" or an "asschicken" is grounds for war.. we used to debate war and discuss it and plan it and it was exciting!

"Ah friend, I believe your questions can only be asked by someone who has seen the signs, who has more experience in this line of business than any other person I know. A man of great intellect, camaraderie, cunning and ingenuity. I refer to you of course to the genetic traits inherent in Mr. Coolklinski's ancestry. I remember listening to his thoughts outside one of our fine New York establishments, if I remember correctly, this is what my dear friend had to say."

"Here's a word on the Streets from lil ol' Kuku - something is brewing, it'll take a while to fruition, but backbone will be getting put into this thing in the weeks and months to come.  A serious powerhouse is powering forward, unchecked by those who must surely realise their positions could be at risk. Rest assured my friends, I will be watching and waiting for the stories to appear..."

Taking a moment to let the wise words of Kuku sink in to the passers-by, Jeddy says "I suppose to truly get the answers you seek, friend, we must wait for Mr. Coolklinski to grace us with his presence, I hope he will find some time out of his busy schedule to grace us all with his wisdom.

Jeddy, seeing his comrade DanTheDownMan have another coughing fit in the streets, hands him a cough drop,

"Here you are friend. Now, can you tell me.. Where Was I?"

Visas had been on a mission her master had commanded her to obtain him a chicken but not an ordinary chicken he wanted an Asschicken.

Visas had been dumbfounded where could she find herself an Asschicken? She had heard that they had been hunted into extinction as there sent glands where used as aphrodisiacs in some third world countys.

Hearing Phil_Steak talking about an Asschicken she approached him.

Phil_Steak you say you have seen the elusive Asschicken?

Could you please point me in its direction? My master has great need of one

http://mafiareturns.com/news/uprofile.php?id=730924

I can't help but think rather than wasting our time debating meaningless names we should spend it focusing on the myriad of bloodlines that have such delusions of grandeur that they claim to be great destroyers of crews and cities despite never once leading a war.

That's not what your dad said last night! OOOOOOOOOOOOH

Can someone let me know what this clown is talking about?

Cluckfarts

This is a capo ^

I presume this is some sort of hidden joke, right?

A man named Phil Steak thinks he can take the piss out of names? I can only assume I'm missing the funny bit somehow.

Phil_Steak you told me that was an Asschicken now you say its a Capo this as been nothing but a big waste of my time

Visas force pushes some poor sap into a building and walks away barely containing her anger she knew her master would not me pleased if she couldnt find that elusive Asschicken

Jealousy roams in the air. The aroma of....of....chicken farts and steak. Mmmm making me feel at home in good ol' New York.  

Ahhh, good ole AssChicken. Have you never had the privilege of munching on a well cooked AssChicken Mr. Steak?

With the right seasonings, it goes down fairly nicely. 

Always compliments WienerPig, CrotchSheep, ToeJamGoat, and NutHorse along with a good glass of wine I might ass, I mean add. 

Angelina walks outside her mansion to check the mail. she sees a man talking to himself in the streets and recognizes the man as the person responsible for shooting people "accidentally". She opens her mail box and checks it for bullet holes and signs of tampering.

Nope, No letter bombs here!

Angelina faintly hears the phone ringing

"sorry guy, must be my boss calling me. Good luck with your rambling"

Tossing the strange crazy man a cigar she rushes back into her house to answer the phone