In the past few days, Iocaste has been quite busy going around the city, taking contacts everywhere, even trying to find supporters for some new kind of project from what you heard. For someone who usually tries to remain discreet, it was relatively unusual.

This time, he seems to be quite in a hurry, holding a pile of papers in his hands. Walking on the other side of the street compared to you, you stop for one second, observing this strange individual who always seem kind of... different than your regular mafioso. Something more... bestial, one could say. It is difficult to see much in this street though, the street lights being weak and flickering.

While you wonder about his true nature, you also notice that a small group of bums suddenly pounces out of a dark perpendicular street and steps in his way. Iocaste stops, observing them, waiting to see what they want. It seems that they did not recognize him... Bums avoid to mug mafia members in general, they know what kind of consequences follow. They probably mistook him for a lawyer or some other wealthy civilian, with all the documents he carries. You also notice that a civilian observing the scene rushes to the closest phone box, probably to call the police, as if these bums had been plaguing the neighborhood for quite some time now.

While you wonder whether you should intervene or not, he lifts up his free hand as a sign that he would prefer if you stay out of it. Surprised at first that he had already noticed you, you end up grinning at this big man with eyes in the back. You notice other mafia members approaching, probably intrigued by this gathering. Curious about how the situation will evolve, you lean on the wall on your side of the street, not missing a bit of the scene, keeping a hand on your gun "just in case". One the bums, probably the head of them, finally starts to speak :

Eh, lost, big man ? For some money, we could probably help ya !

They all start to laugh, except for Iocaste. No answer, not even a movement. The bums seem to get irritated by this reaction and one of them adds in an heavy Irish accent :

Cum on, don't force us ter club de shoite oyt av yer. 

Still no movement from both sides. At some point, it seemed evident that the bums were going to attack since they started to walk towards Iocaste, grabbing metal pipes and other improvised weapons. While doing so, the street lights flicker faster than usual for one second and then turned off for some time. This is also the moment when you hear brawling sounds and what seemed to be a... roaring, followed by pain cries and other noises you would prefer not to have heard. When the lights finally turn on, all you see is a bunch of bloody men on the ground and one man standing over them, exhausted.

As iocaste recovers his breath and slowly gathers and grabs his papers that have fallen on the ground, you hear police siren approaching rapidly. He looks back behind him, takes as many papers as he can and starts rushing in the opposite direction. You think about doing the same - the less you see cops, the better you are - but you notice some pages that the strange man couldn't grab in his hurry. You quickly cross the road, pick one from what seemed to be a bunch of identical papers, and run in the opposite direction. You also see some other people doing the same. When you are sure you are far enough from the scene, you start to read what is written on the page :

[OOC : obviously, don't take it *too* seriously. Yet, this is the first official document about bacon island, so it is serious matters !]
 

Preamble

This is a part of the Bacon Island project. This particular section is about the beliefs of the bacon adepts and the related religion, baconism.

Baconism

Baconism : religion based on the Holy Bacon and its god, Baconicus.

Main deity : Baconicus, also known as bacon god.

Main object of worship : bacon.

Main book : Baconomicon (see below). The Baconomicon is kept short on purpose. There is no need to write hundreds of pages to understand that bacon is delicious and should be worshiped as such. 

Symbol : Moebius infinity bacon strip. See <here>.

Baconomicon

1. As someone with a great sense of humor will probably say one day in a totally other context : “In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move”.
   
   And this is absolutely correct. However, the true purpose of this primary event, provoked by the playful Bacon God, Baconicus, was not (only) to infuriate a lot of people. Thanks to evolution, he knew we would eventually reach an era of prosperity, our era, where bacon would be abundant.
   
   It is the reason why Baconicus is regarded as the main deity of baconism.

2. Bacon God is our god, however, he is not jealous. You may have other gods or no gods before Bacon God.

3. All Baconism asks for is that you truly love the smell of bacon. You are not required to participate in the most holy sacrament of eating bacon (even though it would be weird to refuse).

4. Baconists worships Baconicus, the Bacon God, who has bestowed equally the smell of bacon on all people (except those who have no sense smell, for whom baconists feel much pity). In return, baconists love the holy smell and they swear to respect bacon in all the possible ways.

5. Baconism does not imply to follow a lot of principles, but remember that bacon is holy. Baconists are allowed to steal, murder, etc, as long as it's not in the name of the Bacon God nor for bacon itself.

6. Baconists do not need special buildings or places to express their faith. However, bacon must be stored in an adapted cooling apparatus or it might lose its holiness excessively rapidly.

7. Baconists are expected to do the Holy Cooking as soon as the proper conditions to appreciate the holy smell of bacon are met.
   
   Bacon also requires some attention with the Holy Cooking. It seems that the more you turn up the heat, the more responsive, if not aggressive, the Holy Bacon gets. Do not worry though, and remember that the most important aspect of the cooking is to love the smell produced by the Holy Bacon. This is the true way to show your respect to bacon, along with the holy sacrament of eating it.

8. Bacon never reveals its gender. It does come from animals which have a determined gender, but these are only the receptacles of the Holy Bacon and they do not influence its final gender.
   
   As far as our experiments have brought us, we were always unable to determine whether the sizzling sound produced by the Holy Cooking of the bacon was that of a sensitive male or an assertive female.
   
   Do not postulate on its gender, nature, or any other fundamental property. We know it is the Holy Bacon and it is enough to appreciate its two most fundamental characteristics : its smell and its taste.

9. We are a different entity from the ones worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. They prefer to ornament their pasta with bacon, while we do the contrary. However, we are part of a religion which is quite open minded and close to theirs and it is pretty common to see Flying Spaghetti Monster worshipers be Bacon God worshipers too and vice versa (thanks to point 2).

10. Last but not least, Baconism does not require any form of tax, money transfer, or other pecuniary aspect apart from buying the Holy Bacon in itself and buying the proper tools/machines to store and prepare it. Investments in the pork industry is often consider as a good action though.
    
    You are encouraged to share your love of the Holy Bacon between each other and to organize grouped sessions to worship the smell of bacon together. As no bacon should be lost, you are also obviously encouraged to eat all the bacon which is cooked during the aforementioned meetings.

 

Wondering what you have just read, you are nonetheless sure of one thing : this Iocaste man is clearly not the usual kind of person you encounter everyday.

All Hail Baconicus!!

“Given the existence as uttered forth in the works…” Bacon you say to be a religious idol? For this to be considered, we must analyze other forms of religious idolatry. Bacon. Crispy. Greasy. Alright. But let’s think of the bloody Jesus on a cross? That’s not so savory. And yet on Sunday, people down a cracker that becomes just exactly that. Two thousand years later, I’m certain that meat would be rotten in any form. But still, Bacon is the thing at issue here, not Christ. Easier to swallow is important though, but there’s still some chewing involved… Perhaps this is the wrong direction? Perhaps bacon fits into other religions… And for the easiest example, Christianity is the one to stick with, Bacon nailed to wood… mmm smoked bacon.

To integrate bacon more easily into Christianity, I think we should break it down to the “Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Theory.” Now, this is a pretty simple theory. Bacon is Father/God. The Egg is the son, and well the cheese is the holy spirit… because it may smell. This all seems like a pretty neat package for a religion, and I think it’s something that’s easier to appreciate. Moreover, I think people would be more pleased with eating said Bacon Egg and Cheese on Sundays over the boring cracker. At the core of it all though, Bacon is the majorly important one, and I could argue as to why the Egg and the Cheese are just boring manifestations from other folklore… and I’m sure that wouldn’t surprise you if I did… but I won’t.

I will however say that Bacon is the key. If you have a relationship with Bacon, your place in heaven is surely secured, be it by suffering a stroke, or perhaps a heart attack from its artery clogging fat or high blood pressure causing sodium. And in death, you will find an endless supply of bacon, and will probably suffer the same fate in an endless loop of heart and circulation troubles and death and then more bacon and then… 

Any particular reason why you must use Christianity as your example?

Toys with the gold crucifix that hangs clearly from his neck.

Probably because that is the one religion most people understand easily? I dunno.

finally a religion for bacon =) for us bacon lovers..

Dominic starts cooking some bacon...

Please don't feed the lion bacon.

Shaking her head at iocaste-.

How could you start such a horrible thing!?!

is there free buffet every sunday for the followers?

Mademoiselle : well, I guess we could organize something for the followers ! After all, it sounds like a great idea. And Taisya, the reason is pretty simple : bacon is delicious ! The real question is : why wouldn't I do it ?  

Silly iocaste- bacon is gross. That is why.

Anna stops by driving a large truck, filled with warm, fresh bacon. She pulls up alongside iocaste-, and hops out.

Someone say bacon? 

She pulls open the door at the back of the truck to allow iocaste- to devour the bacon as he sees fit.

Eden takes some steps till she's besides iocaste- and leans against him casually eating some of his bacon.

I'll support your project, but there are a few details that must be ironed out. Christianity has to go as no one ate pig in that day. Pigs were seen as the dirtiest and filthiest creatures. Which means Christ wouldn't have eaten bacon. I just had to point this out before you carried on.

Smiles bacon still being chewed, eyes laughing ever so slightly. Places her hand on iocaste-'s ear and scratches it.

Silly kitty, but I will support you none the less.

Anna stares at Eden.

Sweetie, if God hadn't wanted us to eat pigs meat, he wouldn't have made it so damned tasty. Show me a person who dislikes bacon, and I'll show you a total, complete and utter nutjob.

GLORY TO BACON!

Anna worships the bacon in the best way possible - taking two slices of bread, putting bacon between them, pouring ketchup on it and tucking in.

Chuckles at Anna's statement and the way she ate the bacon, which looked pretty damn delicious as a sandwich.

  Well I understand what you are saying but it's simply a fact. Most Jews still wont eat ham or bacon or anything not "kosher". I have seen and heard it with my own eyes and ears. I tried to trick some people into eating bacon in a stew....and they got really mad at me. I thought it would be good for them.

Grins ear to ear and eats another greasy slice of bacon.