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How much do you really know about Goats? Started by: 303SaltyGoaterino303 on Apr 09, '14 20:42

It seems our world has become infested with the creatures. They walk around the fields chewing grass, branded with a name strikingly similar to two sexually ambivalent men who produce music together thinking they are gods gift to green grass.

 

I thought since they are an ever present feature of our world I would provide us all with a bit more information about goats and some of their habits.

 

The phrase Judas goat is a tern that has been used to describe a goat that is trained to herd other animals to slaughter while its own life is spared. 

 

I think we can all see how this one is useful to us. Never trust a goat.

 

Both male and female goats can have beards. 

 

Don't let the beard fool you. They are hard to sex.

 

Azalea bushes are poisonous to goats. 

 

If you are ever cornered by one of these foul critters be sure to take shelter behind an Azalea bush and allow themselves to poison themselves.

 

Mountain goats have a pretty good life. Lots of fresh air, plenty of grass to eat and clear streams to drink from. Their diet lacks only one thing: salt. So if a mountain goat finds a reliable source of salt they will go crazy over it. Like cattle, they will seek out and lick any rock or piece of ground that’s a little salty.

Unfortunately for mountain hikers, human urine contains just the kind of tasty salt they’re after. Once they learn that people pee tastes good, they will stake out campsites and stalk men who appear to be stopping and opening their flies.

 

We now understand the obsession with Salt. Goats love salt. So much so if you piss on a rock it will provide you with ample time to escape. We can reflect now on some cultures that have learnt the proper way to deal with goats.

 

Buzkashi is the national sport of Afghanistan, and literally translates as “goat-grabbing.” Players on horseback tear at a headless goat carcass and try to control it and bring it to a scoring area. Sometimes a calf is used, since they are less likely to disintegrate.

 

And perhaps most revealing.

 

Satan Is a Goat

Why is Satan often represented as a goat? In the Bible, he’s never described with horns, hoofed feet and beard. Nor in Milton’s Paradise Lost. Nor Dante’s Inferno. Why? Blame it on the Knights Templar. Legend has it that the Templars had initiation rituals, which weren’t so helpful when they were accused of being homosexuals, heretics, and idolaters and burned at the stake by King Philip the Fair of France in the 1300s. In order to show their loyalty to fellow brothers, they reportedly had to kiss each others’ asses. In order to display courage, they had to spit on the crucifix and pray that God doesn’t strike them down right there. And they were supposedly trained to resist torture, in case the Saracens captured them during the Crusades, and force them to deny Christ and worship a pagan deity in the form of a goat. Under torture, some Templars apparently “confessed” to kissing the head of a dead goat and worshipping the god of the Muslims, calling out the name Muhammad—or Mahomet, which was corrupted to Baphomet. Baphomet was revived in the 19th century by occult figures like Eliphas Levi and Aleister Crowley as a Satanic deity. Those horizontal pupils helped, too.

 

 

I think this pretty much tells us all we need to know about goats. The piss licking, backstabbing devils should be left alone at all costs.

 

I hope my handy survival guide will keep you alert and aware as to how to prepare and protect yourself from these foul creatures.

 

(OOC: All facts in this document are 100% authentic and are sourced from various locations) 

 

 

 

 

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GOAT - Greatest Of All Time
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So it's an acronym?  Perhaps it should be G.O.A.T.  and not GOAT :S

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Ahh but most of them have pictures of Goats...so perhaps it is both. It is an Acronym and they all like a little human pee. snickers

I approve of this post.

Walks away in a giggle fit

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But the Late Alex Moran had the Mountain Goats Crew he should have been the Diabolical Goat OverLord of This world :(

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I was genuinely under the impression that everybody knew it was an acronym...

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I thought so too, SammyG. It's on all of the GOAT profiles I believe.

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Well my question is who is to say they are the GOAT (Greatest of all time) in my opinion Roman was the goat. I don't feel like the 303303 are the.. not yet at least. They certainly have the potential to become the best, but just not yet.

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You're comparing one man to an entire empire... While Roman was badass for his time, I feel rather confident in saying his legacy will fall extremely short to the one that will be left by our lovely current regime.
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If GOAT proves to stick together as a group of we and not I. If each can be unselfish and dedicated to the we part then i'm sure they will succeed. However time is the deciding factor because if history has proven anything, its that nothing is guaranteed.  Hope they do pass Roman or any empire before hand, but im the kind of person that does not celebrate before the accomplishment's even done.   

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I agree with Ruthless King here really.

We're all close, close friends. (303303.). I don't see ANY type of conflict that would lead to war but as he, and others have said, don't count your chickens before they hatch.

People always drift it seems. It happens with every regime, every group and every city. I don't think it will happen soon or that it will likely happen ever, but the possibility is there.

I hope we pass the time set forth by the Godfathers of the past as well.. But who knows!

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Yes Ruthless I agree with you!! 
 

  I never say that I don't want someone to not succeed. I would love to see anyone or group who is determined enough, and can work well with others not with them or there group. As well as one who doesn't always resort to violence, I wish you all luck and hope you succeed!!

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People with us and not from our group will be getting chances. Just because they aren't 303303 doesn't mean that there isn't people who don't bend over backwards for us, and we remember that, and we appreciate it. I personally will be rewarding those that have done those things, as I would not be here without them either.

Some people don't have to be from the group to show us loyalty as individuals. You might not be apart of what people like to call 'our clique', but but when your loyalty is with your leader, they won't forget that. Some people want to help us build this empire. Do you think we would have made it here with just the group of us, and without any support from our family and loved ones? No. That's simple enough. Lets not forget those that have fought by our side war after war to see this happen, they need credit as well.

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Oh yes Mr.Mako I've seen your group give people chances who work for you.. But I ment people who do not work for you.

I mean other cities.. of course we don't know all the times 303303 has given people passes and not turned to violence because the masses never heard about the good thing.. we only see wars. I'm just saying with disputes with other cities can 303303 work out there differences or will they always turn to violence?

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I don't believe I'm the man to answer that question, Drakos, because I have no clue. Things happen as Godfather Dan has said, but what? I have no idea. I'm not any kind of fortune teller.

However, I will say that leaders know what is good for business and what is bad for business, or so they should. Everything doesn't have to be violent all the time, it normally depends on whether it can be worked out or not. What Godfather Numbers4Glory did was bad for business, and it wasn't something that could have just been sat down and talked over with a smoke and a pancake.

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Ahh I see..

 

But, yes I understand Numbers4Glory messed up beyond the point of it being talked out. But, I'd much rather see a group of cities who can work together well for the good of the "common people" than cities constantly at war with one another. I guess what I'm trying to say is that 303303 doesn't always just become trigger happy and they become model members in the community in both stature but in something we see all too less.. People who are genuinely good people and like to see everyone prosper instead of just the people with them.

 

But, I did see that they aren't the ones who made the first moves towards Chicago they were actually going to leave them alone. Which does give hope for me they you all are. But, I do have one question that I would liked answered.. not sure if you will have the answer but I saw this posted else where but not answered..

 

When Staten made the decision to wipe Chicago, why didn't the rest of New York take action against them? If they would have made this move then Chicago could have moved with them and Staten Island wouldn't have been a problem at all. With all the fire power they would have been easier pickings then they were. If that would have been the case who knows Las Vegas and Los Angeles could have even started to be populated as we speak now.

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I don't know the details, and if I did, I wouldn't be at liberty to discuss it with you anyway as the role I played in that war was not that one.

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I see.. Well thank you.

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When Staten made the decision to wipe Chicago, why didn't the rest of New York take action against them? If they would have made this move then Chicago could have moved with them and Staten Island wouldn't have been a problem at all. With all the fire power they would have been easier pickings then they were. If that would have been the case who knows Las Vegas and Los Angeles could have even started to be populated as we speak now.

 

Drakos, I believe this was answered. It was stated that NY uppers felt that it put the whole city at risk in that Chicago might not differentiate between Staten Island and the rest of NY when N4G attacked them, and that it was better to work together for the time being and take care of internal affairs later.

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Oh well thank you Ms.Layla, I hadn't seen the answer. I appreciate it very much :)

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