Kelly may only be a thug, a fresh face just off the boat and only been on our streets for one day, but Kelly has been running through my dreams for awhile now. I loved her before I even knew she existed and once I knew of her existence I only wanted to get with that bangin’ body. Unlike most of you I didn’t find out about Kelly just yesterday. Oh no, it was a whole week ago and ever since then I’ve had both the happiest and discouraging mornings. 

I know everyone wants some top notch action between Zack_Morris and I, but I’m going to start at the begging. I was pushed down some stairs. No, not as a child, just the other day. When I officially started my life of crime. I was trying to sell some barbs and as I was haggeling for a better price a homeless man pushed me down a flight of stairs. As I rolled down those cement steps Blu_Blank was walking past where I was about to land. My body met his body and it was magic. Magic that he caught my fall, not in that other way, remember, I have my eyes set on a certain electrifying Kelly. 

After Blu_Blank pushed all of me off his person we chatted for a bit, he learned that I needed a place to call home and took me back to his place. Again, I had my eye on the prize, the Kelly prize and didn’t think too much of Blu’s advances. Unfortunately, Blu didn’t take me back to his private home (this would have been nice to know), but took me to his crews headquarters. He presented me to THE Princess and when I laid my eyes on this boss my jaw dropped open. When I closed my mouth, my eyes boggled out of my head. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven, this beautiful angel looked down upon me.

“Where did you find it?” Princess asked Blu (right in front of me). “It found me.” Blu replied (like I wasn’t in the room.) They both looked at me in disgust which I felt was a little harsh. I had just rolled into town from five day New Orleans jazz party. I looked a little rough, but who wouldn’t. I thought I was handling myself well and it must have come across that way because Princess asked me to do a  handstand which I figured was a right of passage. It wasn’t. Fresh face in town and all she gave me was a bunk to sleep on in the basement. What was that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was a new face in town and all I was given was a place to sleep and told to earn my keep. What!!! I deserved everything and it all handed to me. I swallowed my entitlement for my Princess (honestly, I couldn’t turn down that beauty, specially if things didn’t turn out well with Kelly) and I trudged down to my basement bunk. 

I’ll skip over my unpacking and toilet time and take my story to dinner that night. I found myself standing above where I slept in the head quarters with a few of the other crew members, now my family, having a grand old time. That was until I heard the name Zack_Morris. Everything went downhill from there. 

Zack_Morris was described as a nice guy. A sexy nice guy. An amazing sexy nice guy. An amazing shark killing sexy nice guy. The most gorgeous man candy a girl could look at amazing shark killing sexy nice guy. A true man's man and at the same time the most gorgeous man candy a girl could look at and an amazing shark killing sexy nice guy. You get the point. Everyone loved him. Everyone wanted to be him. Everyone wanted to bone him. The story kept growing and growing. Honestly, it was getting out of hand by the time my salad arrived. “He wears his acid washed jean jacket just so well” someone said and then to my left “The way he pushes back is hair is just so.” I looked across the table. “That’s why THE Princess visits him at night.” After I heard that betrayal my unhealthy obsession with MY Princess took a dark turn. This Zack_Morris guy sounded like a right psychotic prick who didn’t care about anyone. I had to leave. I needed air. I needed some alone time so I could paint myself a picture (a lie) about how MY Princess was my one and only and I was her one and only. 

I flung open the double doors of the headquarters and ran out into the street as if the building was burning down. I doubled over, my hands clutching my knees as I took in dramatic deep breaths of South Side Chicago air. My head was spinning, but there was something I had to do. I headed towards the nearest fix it shop to by myself an axe. I picked myself up (I eventually had fallen over) and walked off into the sunset.

kelly awesome lady! so glad that she has come to be here.