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| A Buck for a Suck | Started by: Sayyid on Feb 16, '09 02:02 |
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A little man struggles against the bulk of the entirely average-sized doors of one of New Orleans finest business establishments, Lovely Licks. Finally, one of his bodyguards reaches over his head and pushes the door open for him. Scowling at the patronizing act, he steps out to the sidewalk and climbs a ladder up to a hastily constructed speaking platform. Ladies, gentlemen, and munchkins of the world! I come to you with an extremely important announcement. For some time the city of New Orleans has sat desolate on the outskirts of this thing of ours with hardly a visitor. Various efforts have been taken to spur increased commerce from various portions of society, all of them to no avail. I come to you tonight with the solution to this crisis of modern society. I come to you to unveil the "Buck for a Suck" plan! That's right, my friends, I am here today to offer YOU money so that you can get a suck in New Orleans! I, for one, can think of no better way to draw people to a city than to offer them a wonderful, cheap suck on someone else's dime. Many will no doubt ridicule this plan as yet another assault upon the fabric of society, a crude attempt to buy love, or worse still an attempt to corrupt the youth. I assure you, any such slander of the "Buck for a Suck" plan is completely unfounded, and surely none who participate in this glorious experimentation will be let down or left unsatisfied. Surely all that would make such complaints are nothing more than prudish parents or the more extreme Luddites of society who could never conscience any of the marvelous modern innovations in any case. On the contrary, change is often a positive force, and I am sure that most will find the "Buck for a Suck" program a most positive of changes. So without further ado, I unveil the most excellent of plans. Anyone, that's right, anyone who messages me with a simple request mentioning the words "Buck for a Suck" while within the premises of New Orleans is hereby entitled to receive from my personal bank account the full purchase price of one of Lovely Licks' most requested specialties, either the Blissful Sucker or the Luscious Lollipop! That's right, anyone in New Orleans who mentions they simply want a "Buck for a Suck" will receive one dollar! But wait, there's more! While supplies last, anyone within the New Orleans city limits who messages will receive not one but TWO bucks so they can get TWO sucks! This is a limited time offer, so please act now to receive your "Buck for a Suck" and additional Bonus Suck! The little man hops down from his stage and begins counting out his one dollar bills in anticipation of the floods of guests to the city eager to purchase an inexpensive bit of bliss from the Lovely Licks Candy Shop. |
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| *watches speachlessly then starts singing* Ah-iiiii want Candy! dada-tata! | |
| Reply by: SeanConnery at Feb 16, '09 02:10 | |
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| I've been looking all over for some high quality suck! The possibly of "bonus suck" is well worth the flight. | |
| Reply by: Cash at Feb 16, '09 02:14 | |
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Wow had me excited... Kicks over a trash can and walks off... |
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| Reply by: Cav at Feb 16, '09 02:30 | |
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*having already recieved the value pack of "Buck for a Suck", Kingston is considered a valued customer* *leaving Sayyid message after message on his anwering machine* *while standing out in front of the Lovely Licks Candy Shop, smokes his joint waiting on the business to open for the day* I want to Buck for a Suck special mon! |
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| Reply by: Kingston_Assassin at Feb 16, '09 03:24 | |
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Sayyid listens to the message left for him and is glad that he has his first opportunity to bring joy to New Orleans, one suck at a time. Your accountant makes note that $2 has been wired to Kingston_Assassin from your account. I assure you, this will be the best suck you've ever had someone buy for you. The Lovely Licks Candy Shop knows how to produce the most marvelous of suckers. |
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| Reply by: Sayyid at Feb 16, '09 03:55 | |
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Rushes to The Lovely Licks Candy Shop, knocking over old women and little children in his haste. He looks over his shouler briefly and yells, Sorry folks, I have an important appointment! |
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| Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Feb 16, '09 11:25 | |
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Helps pick the children up and looks at Phatballz running away What an evil man.. the things this guy will do for a suck. |
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| Reply by: StripheVenzetti at Feb 16, '09 11:35 | |
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| Hey, cut him some slack, Striphe. He's obviously just a little pent up after being alone on Vday. Sayyid winks. I'm sure he'll be yet another extremely satisfied customer in just a few seconds now... | |
| Reply by: Sayyid at Feb 16, '09 12:33 | |
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Exits with a smile from ear to ear and walks up to Striphe. Maybe I was alone on Vday. Please do give me a break, my good man. We all can't be head honcho with the ladies like you are. I take what I can get. |
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| Reply by: PhatballzRourke at Feb 16, '09 14:05 | |
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*standing in the Candy Shop* *smoking those damn joints as usually* Ow....Phatballz it'll be alright! Now we see why those ballz are so phat. I'd imagine they are blue as well. *coughs, choking on his smoke as he laughs uncontrolably* |
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| Reply by: Kingston_Assassin at Feb 18, '09 12:34 | |
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| Don't mind Kingston, Phatballz. He's actually the Lovely Licks' most frequent customer. Sayyid runs away before one of the working girls at Lovely Licks assails him for spreading private information about their customers. | |
| Reply by: Sayyid at Feb 18, '09 13:17 | |
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*takes a step back out of the crowd* *feeling ashamed* *heads off for his scheduled appointment* |
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| Reply by: Kingston_Assassin at Feb 18, '09 16:01 | |
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| I'll take the special, too. Shockingly. But I want Marietta. | |
| Reply by: JosephRourke at Mar 13, '09 13:54 | |
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| Says nothing, slaps his head, and walks off. | |
| Reply by: GinoCeaser at Mar 14, '09 16:48 | |
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Candy, walking past, hears a most intriguing invitation. Catching the general gist of the shouts from the crowds that follow, she smirks at Sean's comment. It's true, he does. |
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| Reply by: Candy at Mar 15, '09 05:59 | |
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