So, me and my girlfriend (oventoaster) were looking into buying our first house.

We'd gone through the motions of renting and we'd finally decided to get involved in the property market. I had a decently paid job at a suit shop and she worked nights at the Philidelphia NBA Pub of my father.

We found this amazing 3 bed house in one of the villages outside my home town in Inglewood, an amazing find considering how house prices had been going at the time and our parents were thrilled we had managed to stay nearby. The house itself was unlike any other we had seen and the estate agent bizarrely informed us there had been little interest in it since it went on the market 8 years ago. The strange thing was it was it looked bigger from the outside than when you went inside.

I thought nothing of this and I assumed it was what had contributed to the low asking price. Anyway we moved in and for months everything was great, I wish I saw my GF more but such is life, we worked different times but we had a great house so what was I complaining about.

The first thing I noticed that was weird were the noises.

I'd get in from work and do my usual thing of either chilling out on the terrace or just listening on the radio before either going to bed or passing out. Sometimes I swore I'd hear movement behind the walls but I had a huge radio so I just assumed my hearing was playing tricks on me. It was never loud bangs or footsteps or anything cliched like that.

One day I came back early from work, I wasn't feeling great and after I'd clicked the door shut I heard a door slam... From inside the house.

Naturally I shit myself, grabbed of all things an umbrella from beside the door (WTF was I going to do with that??!) and tentatively walked round the house.

Nothing.

All the doors were open,

nothing in the back yard to indicate someone was there,

nothing.

I just left it but i can tell you it freaked me out for the rest of the night.

Nothing happened for a few months, then one night, while passed out on the couch I stirred and just saw this shadow run out of the living room and a door slam.

This shadow was not an adult size but much... smaller.

You have to understand I'm a heavy sleeper, and when I stir I'm basically half asleep. I fucking bolted awake after the slam with a WTF...

but just as before, nothing.

I was freaking out at this and I spoke to my GF about it and we came to the conclusion I shouldn't listen to horror stories on the radio before bed!

What a dick, right?

What happened next, I have to live with for the rest of my life.

It came to that point in any home owner's life where they start to redecorate.

There was a cupboard under the stairs that was your standard broom cupboard. It still had a load of old junk in their from the previous owners, a broken sweeper, an old mop and bucket and some coats, plus an old VHS recorder. My GF decided what we needed was a downstairs toilet. It was our day off and we decided to have a DIY day.

I cleared the cupboard out and as I was carrying the old coats out, a VHS hit the floor with "watch me" written in pen on the side.

I put the VHS in the player.

It was CCTV footage of the house, from a shelf in the living room.

As we watched it seemed like nothing was happening...

...and then we saw him.

An old guy,

at least he looked old...

...but TINY.

He must have been about 3.5 ft tall maximum and wrinkled to shit, he had a limp and dragged one of his feet around. At one point he looked towards the camera and smiled. He had dark leathery skin and a white wispy haired comb-over. His face was like nothing I had ever seen. I wasn't sure whether he had a genetic condition or what but he reminded me of a Picasso painting!

His smile was what sent a chill through me though.

We assumed this was the previous owner.1

He wasn't doing anything weird or anything we just laughed nervously a bit because he was creepy looking.

Then we saw him pull a panel out of the wall and disappear behind it, replacing the panel behind him...

... then the family came home and grabbed the VHS recorder,

it was obvious they were having the same fears I was.

I was FREAKING out at this point, my GF was just silent.

I was pacing round the room basically shouting

holy-fuck-holy-fuck-that's-what-I've-been-seeing-this-whole-time.

Part of me was happy I wasn't going mad, it was literally the freakiest thing I had seen until I noticed the white look on my GF's face.

She was visibly shaking and pointing at the place in the wall where we had seen the guy and I saw what she was seeing.

A small hole.

It could have easily been a knot in the wood paneling of the wall but now i was looking at it, it was obviously a hole.

I crept over to it,

my heart POUNDING by this point and looked through.

I couldn't really make out very much,

it was dark

and then it happened.

An eye came into view from the other side.

Episode 2 Room Mate

A few years ago I was looking for a roommate.

The vacancy had arisen because my previous one was a mafioso who’d been having some trouble with homesickness. Eventually it got too much and he moved away to somewhere with a colder climate. So, as you do, I put some ads up on various sites and it didn't take long before a guy called Salsalani responded.

We messaged back a forth and couple of times and arranged to meet up one day at a pub.

I was immediately struck by his easy charm and wit - you couldn't hope to meet a person who was easier to talk to. He was working hard on earning cash and hustling in the streets. How exactly one would go about that, I have no idea, but we became friends straight away and I didn't think twice about letting him move in.

Just before we parted ways that day, Salsalani asked a question I really didn't anticipate.

"I know this is a weird question, but are you by any chance afraid of clowns?" he said with a smile.

"Er, I suppose so," I replied, wondering why anyone would ask. "I probably read Stephen King's IT at a stupidly young age. Are you scared of them?"

"Oh, damn," he said. "I'm a clown at the weekends. I do like charity events and fundraisers, visit sick kids in hospital sometimes. Is that a problem for you? I mean, I know some people are seriously scared of clowns."

"Oh, of course not. That sounds cool. It's just the bad clowns that scare me." I had never personally known one before, but Salsalani didn't seem scary.

"I promise, I don't kill kids," he said with a grin. He threw his neck back and drained the last of the coffee from the cup. "It's the adults I go for."

I burst out laughing.

What a cool guy, I thought.

Our first few weeks living together went about smoothly as possible, and things were a good deal more peaceful than they had been with my previous dorm mate; I definitely didn't miss being woken at unholy hours by his sobbing. Salsalani would get up, go to class, come home, and then paint or have a quiet drink with a friend or two.

Sometimes at the weekend he'd put on his clown suit and go out to those charity events he'd talked about. He didn't seem like a scary clown. He was so cool, in fact, that he even began to change my view of clowns.

There was a freezer in our kitchen that I'd told Rob not to bother using. It hadn't been right since before he moved in. I kept meaning to call someone to come out and look at it or replace it, but I guess it must have slipped my mind.

One day, about five months after Rob moved in, I came home to find the lights on but total silence in the house.

That was strange, Salsalani was always listening to radio or playing his guitar, he hated silence. But I really knew something was up when I noticed something different about that freezer.

The freezer door was open. I walked over looked inside.

Oh my God.

Eight chunks of a human body, all cut up neatly and stored tidily on the shelves.

I can't really explain how I felt at that moment. I panicked, what the hell can you do in that situation? My mind was racing and I thought back to the day we met when Salsalani made that joke about only killing adults.

Holy crap.

Just then, a faint shuffling noise came from Salsalani's room.

I didn't know what to do. For some reason, I tiptoed over to his room to see what the hell was happening. I don't know, I suppose adrenaline just takes over at that point. I peered in and sure enough, there he was, lying on the floor with a mad look in his eyes as he stared at the ceiling. After a long delay in which I'm sure he was aware of my presence, he looked up at me.

"You sick bastard. I'm calling the police."

Clowns are the worst roommates, don't you think? Always uncovering the dead bodies in places you specifically told them not to look.

I'm afraid I had to kill him too.

So now my old friend has a dorm partner to sleep along with him in that big freezer.

Oh, by the way...

I'm still looking for a new roommate, if anyone's interested.

First Wack

Back in the days where hustling in the streets is a thing of honor, Doflamingo and Tony was mere petty thief when the both met each other. It was in an instant that they became close friends. Now they are both a soldier but serve a different family. But before they joined a family of organized crime, little was known about Doflamingo’s first wack.

It was a rainy afternoon when Doflamingo and Tony were having a drink at a bar on Inglewood. The wind was cold and the radio from the pub was loud. Both were having a good time.

Shots after shots of tequila, they were celebrating a petty crime they did together at a local shop named Beanbag. Beanbag was a coffee shop owned by an old lady and was a respected shop because of its good coffee and pies. The heist was perfectly planned but not that perfectly executed.

The two petty thieves were supposed to rob the coffee shop as planned but things went south when they executed the plan. The old lady named Doloria tried to fight back and Doflamingo’s instinct told him to shoot her, so he did. One shot at the body and one shot in the head just to make sure. After the shot they stole all the money in the counter and left. They rode their getaway vehicle and drove away fast and easy.

Doflamingo was in a state of shock and he was shaking. He said

“Man I killed her”

Tony comforted him and said

“You did what you have to do man, take it easy. To make you feel better, let’s go grab a drink”

So they did grab a drink. After 5 shots of tequila Doflamingo was getting kind of tipsy. Then he saw an old woman at the corner of his eyes. But when he glanced back there was nobody there. He thought it was just the effect of alcohol. After the last shot, they both headed home.

Doflamingo was alone on his two-storey home. He went directly upstairs and laid down and slept.

“You could have just taken the money and left. What did I do wrong? Why? I have dreams for my grandchildren. You took my business and my life away from me.”

Doloria wearing her white dress covered in blood and a bullet wound on her face approaches doflamingo on his bed.

Exum Exfulus Endirie. The old woman chants as she walks slowly to doflamingo. Doflamingo can still see her gunshot wound on her head as blood continues to drip from her face.

Doflamingo’s body was frozen in shock. He cannot move a finger. Then he felt the cold fingers of Doloria running on his face. He can see through her hollow eyes. Doloria was on top of him, blood dripping to his blanket. Then doloria’s face was inches away from Doflamingo still chanting an unkown language.

When suddenly Doflamingo woke up from his awful dream.

Fucking fucker of fucks!!! I almost died from that fucking dream.

He looks out the window and he saw the sun shining. He looked up in the clock and it was 7:00 am sharp. He got up and went downstairs.

He smelled the sweet aroma of fresh brewed coffee. He can also smell a hint of a freshly baked cheese cake.

He walked down the stairs and found a cup of hot coffee and a cheese cake on the table. He felt sick and cold sweat dripped from his face when he saw the note beside the coffee.

He felt a cold finger on his neck as he reads the note;

“why?”

That first guy you described sounds a lot like Tyrion. 

Perhaps it was me, Romwulf?

That would explain what happened to PantiesBeDroppin