Kyubey was enjoying a nice cup of tea. He was speaking to his family around the headquarters making sure everything was alright. The recession in America was hitting everyone hard. He no longer had the amazing green mint tea he liked, he had to stoop as low as regular mint tea, which was a massive difference to him. Things were changing and he just had to adapt, or get better. He had a meeting to go to in Manhattan. He had a lunch meeting planned with an executive from Wall Street. It was one of FutureStealer's people. The man himself, FS, ran most of Wall Street from behind his criminal syndicate.

He took a family car along with a couple of soldiers acting as his bodyguards for today. It wasn't safe for a Don of his stature to be traveling alone, especially in such a city such as New York. After an hour, he arrived from Brooklyn to Manhattan. "The Wall Street Stock Exchange" The car halted to a stop and he got out. Two of the men followed him inside. The exchange was loud and extremely crowded. They made their way to the café. He had picked a corner table because he was always thinking someone would shoot him from behind, much like an old story from the wild west. After a couple of moments a man came over and sat down.

"Kyubey?" The man said. "Of course. Nice to meet you. Let's get down to business" Kyubey said. The man laid some documents on the table while the two bodyguards watched from both ends. The documents were information of certain stocks that would be dropping and rising incredibly and when they would.. Kyubey read over the document and a smile came to his face. This would be worth millions for Brooklyn and himself. He suddenly frowned. "What is the matter? Did something upset you?" The man said. Kyubey sighed and slammed his little paw thing on the table. "This stock right here is dropping 900%.. This is not good for business. The corporation is owned by a good friend of mine, how the fuck could it drop so significantly?" He said. "Well.. From what I hear, Councilman Jeddy, the CEO and CFO of Bird Bank International, invested 98% of his companies finances into the national lottery hoping for a clean win but unfortunately he did not win and now his corporation is in shambles. People have been taking out their money as soon as possible and the company is on the brink of bankruptcy and honestly, the stock is worth almost nothing anymore." Kyubey didn't like that but he sighed. He had an idea Jeddy was capable of such an action. "Thank you again. Your money is in the usual spot. It was nice to finally meet face to face. I will be off now"

Kyubey watched as the man left and he picked up his newspaper. 

Bird Bank International in ruins!

Corporate Head and Chief Executive officer Councilman Jeddy bankrupt!

On Friday Septemeber 5th, 1932, Councilman Jeddy, the leading officer and well renowned head of the largest American banking institution, Bird Bank International, has filed for bankruptcy to the American government after losing a reported 98% of his company in a lottery scheme that did not succeed. It is reported that the institution is now being claimed by such share holders such as JohnnyNoName and Cantillon. TheSorryJew is currently the highest ranking officer within the corporation that is still on track to try to succeed. We here at the New York Newspaper wish him all the luck!

He sighed even louder. "To the car boys. I need to find my way to a phone." The men all got back into the black vehicle and they rode to a local diner where he stepped out to use the phone booth. He began dialing a number belonging to Jeddy. "Jeddy? Jeddy. Jeddy! What the fuck is this I hear in the stock exchange and the fucking paper that Bird Bank International is going bankrupt? You guys had over 40% of the nations fucking wealth. How do you just blow all that money, man?" Jeddy began mumbling and didn't have much to say. He was understandably upset and didn't want to speak much. Kyubey understood that and let it be. "Look, I'm not here to yell or be crude, Jeddy. But the bank cannot die here. We have far too much invested in it for it to die now." Jeddy didn't really care. He mentioned about having a trip out to the Tibetan Mountains to relax and attempt to be at ones inner peace with ones self. "That is some fucking crazy stupid talk Jeddy. But it sounds like I can't talk you out of it then.. However, BBI cannot function without a head.. So name someone as your successor immediately so this can get back into the green" Jeddy mumbled something about TheSorryJew and hung up the phone. Kyubey began to dial up a new number to TheSorryJew.

"Hello? Jew? Yeah, this is Kyubey. I know you've most certainly heard about the recession in America and how bad it has hit Bird Bank International?" He began to speak into the telephone. He knew it wasn't the recession fucking over the bank, it was the failed lottery buyout attempt by the company. "Yeah, yeah. Well, good news for you. I just spoke to comrade Councilman Jeddy and he is temporarily stepping down as CEO but will remain as an inactive member of the board. He has named you as his successor as CEO within BBI. Congratulations. Now, get to work. I have a lot of interest in BBI and I do not wish to see you fail."

TheSorryJew sits behind his desk, looking important and stuff. After he got word from Kyubey he had been named CEO, he immediately took matters in his hands. For some weird reason the last days he got shoved with lots of responsibilities and he didn't complain about that at all.

He took a thoughtful puff from his pipe while looking at some papers.

''As of this day BBI will undergo a serious of necessary and very important reforms.''

He took another puff and continued talking.

''These reforms will make sure we have a healthy and prosperous economy.''

and then placed a large sign in front of his desk.

BBI Reforms

#1. No gambling with BBI funds ever

#2. Each district will grant a share of it's weekly profits to BBI

#3. This money shall be used to grant emergency loans (in case of unexpected losses, auths, hitlist buy-offs etc.)

#4. These loans will only be given to BBI customers, and will have 5% interest.

#5. BBI will acquire more funds by selling credits at a higher price when the market is unsatisfied.

#6. Don't hate BBI for the weekly share thing, it's for the greater good.

#7. The initial goal is to raise 100 million for BBI as reserve for #3.

Alex was doing some work in his office when Heisenberg came in and told him about the BBI crises. How could things have gone so bad in 24 hours? Alex drove to the Rainbow Corporation HQ and entered TSJ's office and sat down.

"Oh I hear you are the new CEO of BBI in Jeddys abscence? Good news friend. I know you have many great ideas."

He skims through the list of reforms that TSJ has planned to change within BBI.

"Some great changes here friend. Hopefully you can turn things round eh? Is Jeddy still crying about his losses?"

He chuckles and heads towards the door

"Good luck friend. My god you will need it. You know where to find me if you need help"

Alex heads out the door.

Mako was walking down the sidewalk, like he did every morning. Per usual, he stops by the magazine shack on the corner of the block and pays for a newspaper. After taking a few steps and looking at the front page, his mouth gave a little drop. 

Bird Bank International takes a Recession Hit!

In this economy, he couldn't blame them. Must've been tough times for everyone, especially banks. Mako began to think about the conspiracy it must have proved to be when the bank owner was caught dumping funds into the national lottery. Not that he blamed him for that either, as Mako had a certain amount of stock in that lottery with BBI. 

"FUCKKKKKKKK!!! Not the way I wanted to find out that we lost the lotto!"

Since Bird Bank International was his personal bank, this news hit Mako like a sack of bricks to the face. It was almost enough to make his knees buckle on the sidewalk, but he took a few stapes forward to fight off the jelly feeling in his legs. After folding up the paper, he stuffed it under his arm, and looked around to see if anyone had caught eye of his 'almost' mental breakdown. A man was staring at him from the other side of the street.

"What the hell you looking at? Mind your own business, my bank just took a hit!"

Mako picked up a rock from the ground and hauled it across the road at the man. He ran off before it hit him and Mako started drawing eyes his way, and he never liked the eyes on him when he was supposed to be hiding in the shadows. It was amazing how a little thing like your bank going under can change your personality for a bit. After letting out a sigh, Mako looked back down at the paper and continued towards a back alley.

"October 1st... All will be well again."

Walking through the streets, PaulHeyman's attention was captured by the man selling the day's newspaper at a stand.

"SPECIAL EDITION! CHAOS AS BANK COLLAPSES! READ ALL ABOUT IT!"

Paul immediately ran over to the seller and bought a copy. "Not more financial ruin" he thought. He was growing tired of this seemingly never-ending period of austerity. What he read shocked him to the core. Thankfully, he banked with a competitor, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for those whose money was in the care of Bird Bank Inc as it collapsed. As he read the piece, he muttered.

This is the problem with banks. They make risky investments, they lose. No fault of the consumer, but the greedy mistakes of investors have potentially ruined lives.

As Paul walked back, he passed his local branch of BBI. There was a queue outside that stretched right around the block. Hundreds of people panicking and trying to withdraw their savings. He sighed, shook his head in pity and carried on walking.

Temporary CEO of BBI abandons ship!

The temporary CEO of Bird Bank International, TheSorryJew has made public his intention to abdicate from his position. He claims he sees no future for the bank - which recently took a huge hit - and intends to continue his work with a new company, called Shekel Inc.

Accusations of BBI not paying it's debts are dismissed by TheSorryJew as ungrounded.

''Shekel Inc. Will try and pay a portion of the debts owed by BBI, but of course not everyone can be satisfied.''

''Shekel Inc. Will certainly not be investing it's funds into lotteries and instead is looking to raise money in a risk free way.''

TheSorryJew named AlexTurner as his new partner and thanked Desmand for his advice in making this tough decision. He also expressed hope that TepidDelucci would share some of his dice winnings.

 

Desmand's lawyer raises his hand and waits for the chatter of the crowd to quieten. Desmand, usually one for the public eye, is eerily absent from the press release. 

"My client Godfather Desmand has prepared a short statement he would like for me to read on his behalf in relation to recent events (and allegations) involving BBi. There will be no questions at the close of this and I ask at this time that his privacy be respected whilst he comes to terms with said events."

As I'm sure many of you who have read today's article courtesy of Kyubey are now aware that Bird Bank International now has holdings (at the last update I received) of just $1. I am under the impression that it will be filing for bankrupty as per my last piece of advice to the acting CEO TheSorryJew. Many of you are probably wondering, where did it all go wrong? I hope to shed a little more light on this from my own involvement in the company as Chief Advisor to Councilman Jeddy.

Jeddy came to me early Wednesday morning with intentions to sink all BBi's assets into the purchasing of both the credit and the cash lottery. This had proved a popular investment method in the past that had helped BBi achieve over 1000% growth in recent months and even force emergency tax measures from the Government. This was a model that had proved successful and I expected the same outcome and so gave Jeddy the green light but this is where problems arose. Early on through other BBi subsidiaries we knew that wealthy business TepidDelucci had a sizeable share of the credit lottery, however this didn't bother us as we easily had the funds to match and then exceed his share. As the result drew nearer BBi had over a 50% share in both the cash and credit lotteries, a sizeable chunk and one we expected would get us the win whilst still yielding decent profit margins to keep the shareholders happy and produce decent year end numbers prior to the public floating of 49% of BBi. 

However it soon became apparent that the time and place of the draw was pushed back a full 24 hours. This was something that we had certainly not planned for and resulted in the pot exponentially increasing coupled with a share in both pots falling to (at one point) a mere 35% share. Jeddy and myself had no contingency plans in place for such an outcome and after an exhausting morning of discussions felt that the only solution was to round up more funds and try and increase the share we had. This was our first (and ultimately last) mistake we made. More capital was raised through investors including Cantillon and CristianoRonaldo but ultimately proved too little and too late as the wins went to Pennybags and JohnnyNoname. 

It is worth noting that at no point during this lottery investment did JohnnyNoname ever mention he had shares in the pot nor of his intentions to cut BBi out of any potential winnings he might make. As someone who is usually a heavy investor in BBi his absence from this last venture is certainly interesting and one that we are looking into, to see whether he formed his own "$$$moneyteam$$$" syndicate to rival that of BBi. We are also still looking for information regarding Pennybags whom we believe was just a front for another organisation to see what share he was holding in the credit lottery. 

So where does that leave me? Fresh off the back of losing approximately $50 million in this final BBi venture along with the demise of BBi I am hereby stepping down from my role as Chief Advisor to BBi and Councilman Jeddy's confidant. I offered a few last words to CEO TheSorryJew before my resignation and they were this: "File for bankruptcy as BBi and create your own investment holdings, BBi's name and reputation are in tatters and you will struggle to gain consumer confidence again. Also tell JohnnyNoname to jump off a cliff and don't pay him shit."

The man folded the paper up and placed it back in his suit pocket, before departing the stand.