Tony was kicking back at HQ one sunny afternoon, he had his boots on the table and arms across his chest. He was bored there was no other word for it, he had seen CiroAntonino walk out with the puppies earlier. No doubt heading to the park to try and get a fine young lady to come home with. Enaento was in his office doing Enaento type stuff, Tony could never tell with that typewriter making so much noise. Domino was cooking books of course in her office, it was no surprise cause her office door was always open. Tony had never seen a ghost before until he met RangaLad, that man would show up at the corner of your eye and when you turned to look he would be gone. The day was a drag, even the bartender was falling asleep. Tony finally decided he was gonna go to the park and see what CiroAntonino was up to. Maybe he could learn some neat pick up lines and use them at the bar, but then again 'Come Home With Me' was a good pick up line at the bar.

Tony got in his car and started it up, he clicked on his seatbelt and backed out of the driveway on to the streets. Their seemed to be plenty of activity in the streets today with the local hoodlums running away with purses they snatched from old ladies. Of course their were the men in black overcoats walking the streets, there was no surprise who they were. The traffic wasnt to bad, but it felt like there were to much police out. Finally arriving at the park, Tony exited the vehicle and began to walk to the first park bench he saw. He wasnt much for walking after that gunshot he took to the back, he was pro sitting down. Now that the Ted incident was fresh on his mind he wondered how Dubliner was doing. There were dogs walking in the park with their owners, there were cats also. Funny how the two species got along here, they were probably well trained. Tony spotted CiroAntonino walking up to a FOX of a woman, she looked stuck up. Like that rich kinda girl 'my daddy is number 1 cause he spoils me' kinda stuck up. Tony couldnt watch, he looked the other way and hatched an awesome idea.

Tony went chasing butterflies, he couldnt run or jump to much but he could sneak and swipe.  He spotted a real nice one, all different colors and such so he sneaked up to it which took a few moments and he swiped at it. Success, the butterfly was his, now he needed to steal/buy off a kitty cat. He searched up and down for a nice little kitty until he found the perfect one, it was a nice solid grey cat.  His plan was to hide in the bush and when CiroAntonino walked by he would release the butterfly, to which the cat would chase it. The dogs would be distracted and chase the cat, giving Tony the perfect opportunity to make off with one or two of those little puppies. The plan went well until the butterfly went rogue and decided he wanted to do it his way. The puppies got wrapped around the legs and Tony had to sit there while CiroAntonino untangled himself.

Tony would no doubt get another chance, this was only strike one. After all was said and done, he drove back home and started making blueprints to his next plan. Maybe the next idea wouldnt fail, seeing it wasnt gonna be thought up on the spot. He was gonna put some real braniac work into the next idea.

I really enjoyed your story Tony! I really appreciate how you enjoyed going after the little puppies instead of trying to go after the women. really cute! I look forward to hearing you tell your next story to the masses. 

 Tony went into town and had heard about the carnival who was in town, it was also pet friendly. He bought The whole family tickets to the carnival. On the day of the Carnival however, Tony laid in bed with the covers right under his chin. He had purposely poked his eyes to make them watery and had a feather under the covers which he would rub on his nose to give off the thought that he was sneezing. The family came in and wished Tony good health, then they were off into the city.  Tony got out of bed and walked to the front window to watch them as they drove off. He made sure they were long gone before making his way to the back and grabbing a six-pack and a shovel. The puppies had a playpen in the back yard which was quite spacious, Tony figured he would dig a hole in the playpen about 4 feet down. On the bottom of the hole he would make a man sized tunnel leading right down to the bottom of his room.

Tony had a good dig ahead of him, so he started pulling dirt out. He was driven by madness and jealousy for the puppies, plus the 6 pack of beer he was drinking. To tell you the truth the buzz was kinda getting killed off with the digging. He started to think the beer was a bad idea. By the time he had dug out the tunnel, it was already dark, he crawled back to the entrance. Tony then covered the hole with leaves and twigs, he was planning to sneak through the tunnel at night and grab the puppies. He would then leave through the back gate with a sack full of profitable puppies. He walked back inside and took a nice long hot shower, making sure to wash off all signs of dirt from his body. Tony crawled into bed and closed his eyes, just then he heard En walk in the front door with the rest of the family. They were laughing and giggling about their apparent fun at the carnival, Tony wasn't really paying attention. The only thing he heard was puppies barking, then the back door opened up. Domino was putting the puppies into the playpen, Tony's heart was beating so fast. He was hoping she didnt see the big pile of leaves covering the hole in the corner, besides it was night time nobody has vision that good.

The back door slammed shut, and Tony knew it was gametime, the only thing he didnt know was that Domino never made it in. She had discovered the hole when one of her puppies had fell through it while she was playing with them outside. She merely slammed the door to make Tony think she had come in. Domino walked into the playpen and looked down the deep hole, right before she climbed inside to get her puppy. While down there she discovered the tunnel leading to somewhere, there were loads of lights and wires running through the hole. Braces were set up to hold the weight of the dirt from caving in on whoever was using it, Domino had lived in the house for quite sometime but wondered why she had never noticed this. She decided to crawl through the tunnel wondering where it would lead.

Tony got out of bed after all lights were out, he opened a secret door under his bed leading to his personal basement room where he kept his money and personal information. There was another door on the wall in the private room, Tony opened it and entered the tunnel. He began to crawl through when he caught the scent of good smelling hair, he knew that smell really well.  Tony figured Domino was kissing the puppies again and rubbing em all in her hair. He began to crawl faster thinking the puppies had found the tunnel, when he got half way through he tried to turn back but Domino had already got a hold of him.

Domino exited the tunnel dragging Tony out by the ear, she yanked him out of the hole and damn near tore his ear off. She put two and two together and figured out about the Carnival ploy. She wasted no time going through Tony's room finding all the pages of blueprints which dated back some time, she also rolled his chalkboard out of his room and into hers.

Tony sat on his bed with his ear hanging down to his ankle so to say. He was back at square one, he remembered momma always said never give up. By the morning he was in his private room hatching a new plan to get a hold of those puppies.

Domino came storming into En's office disheveled and filthy. She looked like she had been digging graves. She dragged dirt and grime into Ens office.

You know what that damn Tony did this time? she roared. She proceeded to tell En about the puppies and the tunnel. En sighed. This was a never ending battle over these damn puppies!

Alright Domino, we will take care of this. Gather up your precious pups and bring them in here. We will keep them in the Dark Room for now. Only you and I can access it. Maybe Tony will get a new hobby when he sees they can't be taken anymore.  I'll assign 5 bodyguards for each pup. that ought to do it! En said trying to calm his RH down. Before Domino left to get her babies, En made a call to a local contractor.

I need a couple cement mixers over here. Got a guy whose digging tunnels. Come fill them up now! En said to the union man who answered. He hung up the phone.

Lets see our little tunnel rat get through concrete, En said with a wink. Still mad, Domino stormed out of the room.

 Tony is fast at work in his private basement, when he hears a racket going on in the tunnel. He opens the door to find a couple of cement workers barely starting to fill the tunnel. Tony thinks back on the time and labor it took him to dig that tunnel, he closes the door and walks into his basement. There is alot of racket and stumbling around, then the tunnel door opens again.  Tony has a pillow in his hands wrapped around something, there are a few pops and then no more workers.  Tony starts to dissemble braces about halfway through the tunnel causing the middle to cave in and leaving only his side dug out.  He returns to his room and comes back with gas, he lights a match and throws it on the workers. The tunnel door closes again and Tony sits back in complete silence, knowing he would never get caught.

 Now how to solve the bodyguard problem, it was gonna prove to be a tough one. Ten puppies with five bodyguards each, why was En just throwing money around like that. Tony imagined how man traps he could have bought from ACME with all that money. Now depending on thick the walls were Tony was willing to burrow in to get the puppies. He just had to wait for the right opportunity, he couldnt very well do it the next day or it would be suspicious.

Day in and day out Tony acted like the model family member cleaning up after the puppies and buying them chew toys. He covered up the hole in the playpen as well as the tunnel leading up to the middle. To tell you the truth he thought it kinda smelled like dead ass down there, he couldn't figure out from what though. One day Domino asked Tony to run to the store for some dog food and toilet paper cause she was out. So Tony went to the hardware store where he picked up the following items.

Dog Food-$29.99 For growing puppies.

Construction Toilet Paper-$10.99 Guarenteed To Remove Rust off a Truck

Sledge Hammer-$25.99 Random Buy (or was it)

He returned back to HQ quickly putting up the sledge so the others wouldnt see it, he put Dominos puppy stuff on the table and went back to his room. He remembered reading an ACME article on the paper the other day and decided to call them to order a contraption.

En was sure Tony was still plotting. He always was. His attempts to gain Domino's attention what getting unnerving. Domino just wanted to beat him to a pulp at this point. She had said as much.

En was listening to the puppies yap in the Dark Room when the phone rang. It was the union rep.

What do you mean your cement workers didn't return? Where the hell would they have gone? En asked perplexed. The man told En all he knew is they never came back. There had been no sign of them at the union hall or their homes. Their wives were frantic. En asked which employees had been sent. 

I'll look into it and see what I can find out, En told him. Kinda odd that they just up and disappeared on their families. That seems out of character, En commented. En called Domino in and they got their things together. He turned to the bodyguards watching the dark room. 

I want rotating shifts of 10 of you going in there to watch them and play with them until we return. Watch every inch of that place. Randomly move the puppies if you hear even the slightest peep. No one or nothing gets in! Every pup better be accounted for when I get back, En told them. 

En and Domino went out to the parking lot to find Domino's car was gone. They looked at each other in disbelief. Who had the balls to take Domino's ride? There was no time for that! En went back in, got his driver and came out. They hit the road heading towards where they were told this tunnel was.

Sky was off delivering pies for En. walking through the Garage Sky bumps into En. "does everyone here have a frickin car?" En laughs at him and shuffles him off to the direction of his office, he also said something about puppies.

Making his way to En's office and putting down  the pies on the desk, looking over at body gaurd Sky buts on his "big boy pants". Putting a scowl on his face.

"You there, yes you don't look around like an idiot you know i'm talking to you. En sent me to take the puppies for a walk take me to them. don't just stand there take me to them"

Hiding a smile Sky follows the man to the puppies, Putting leashes on them he leaves the HQ and takes them  for a walk to the park.

 Tony stares in disbelief at what had just taken place in front of his eyes. He decided to follow sky outside, to offer him a ride because the park was such a far walk. Sky agreed and hopped into the car with Tony, Tony offered sky a beer to which sky accepted. He couldnt tell what sky's angle was on this puppy situation but he aimed to find out. 

Sky had ended up drinking so much before they had made it to the park that Tony had to make a pit stop on the shoulder of the road. Sky exited the vehicle with the leashes tied to his hand still, the puppies were sound asleep in the backseat. As sky unzipped to pee, Tony pulled out his trusty switch blade and cut the leash in half. Leaving sky with half a leash on his hand, Tony then hit the gas to the car leaving sky on the side of the road. He knew sky would find his way back so he wasnt worried.  Now Tony had the puppies and he wasnt going back into Chicago, he took an exit on the highway and left towards Las Vegas where he could rent a safehouse and finish his thinking.

Sky finishes peeing and looks at his wrists, "OH hell no!" well atleast Sky didn't feel so bad about slashing his tire now. Flagging down a car with a fist full of cash Sky catches a ride up to where Tonys pulled over on the side of the road. 

Sky walks over and puts the puppies in the other car and slashes another of Tonys tires. Tony begins to argue when sky hits him in the face with the last pie in his bag. leaving the bag there Sky gets back in the car which he is now paying alot of money to take him to the park.

Sky spends the entire ride to the park laughing about what he did to Tony, once at the park Sky Buys new leashes from pet owners and begins to walk the puppies. they were all his.

{After secretly having grabbed two puppies (I doubt the crew will notice with eight little whipper snappers still left running around) and stealthily taking Domino's car keys from her coat I made my way to the Hamptons to party for the weekend with LuigiFarvacci. The guy knows his way around NY and the Queens and probably upstate. Now mind you I've never been to the country clubs in upstate New York but one time in an old greyhound office in Podunk, Illinois I browsed a real estate magazine and remember seeing all the largest mansions being in that part of New York. Perfect for a little fun amongst the rich while casing some sweet properties and using my lock picking skills, apparently I also had to trap some rabbits so Luigi could do something with them.

Sneaking out of HQ was simple enough with one puppy under each arm of my large overcoat. I'm so lucky Domino and Enaento didn't notice me cause they would have totally grounded me to house duty and I would've spent the next two week sweeping and answering phone calls as well as shredding papers for Domino. I dropped the pups into Domino's sweet ride and started the car. It revved up beautifully and I put it into drive and headed onto I-90 for the long trip to New York. After driving straight thru the night I made it to Queens and found Luigi at the Dead Rabbits HQ. It's probably not a great idea to cohort with a gangster from a different city but hey being a cugine I still have a thing or two to learn about la cosa nostra

So me and Luigi head to the Hamptons no real plans but well drive around until we find house that's hopping and make ourselves at home. I would've preferred to go with my sponsor TonyMontana but last I checked he was busy in his basement with chalkboards and all kinds of crates. Also there was a weird smell emanating from his room kind of a mix of burning hair and wet cement not very inviting.

We make our way up Long Island thru Montauk and into Southampton. This village looks like some old English puritan hovel full of nannys and tennis snobs. I drive thru the main strip and make my way into Cooper's beach. It's full of people twirling umbrellas in the sun (WTF?) and knocking back ice teas. We pull up to a bar on the beach and I tell Luigi that if he wants to hang with me and enjoy himself it's time to piggy up to the bar and get plastered. Once we start floating we can head out and look for cloud nine. He agrees and we proceed to drink half the items on the bar menu and head out to the beach. I almost forget about the pups but head back to the car and grab the two best looking doggies the world has ever seen, at least that's what I told myself as I was pulling them out of the car. Some old hag looks at me sideways as I talk to myself and I flash her my my friendly finger which has a way of popping up unannounced.

Grabbing the pups I make my way back to the beach and notice Luigi is already talking up a storm with a group of ladies and gents. Apparently hes convinced them hes some sort of European with a lot of connections in the art world or something. Talking about Picasso and some neighborhood in Paris I step in and he introduces me as his American cousin. The dogs grab all the attention as the girls swoon and pet and kiss the puppies until were practically sitting in all their laps.

Somehow Luigi manages to talk up all these lawyer politician types and were invited to some fancy shmancy party that evening. Everything is going according to plan and back in the car with the puppies I slap Luigi on the back and tell him about my plans to rob the house and make off with some jewels. He tells me that's great but not to forget about his rabbits. I assure him I brought the rabbit nooses with me and will set them up once we get to the estate where the party is gonna be going off.

We make it to the party and I let loose the puppies. The ladies and gents are all drunk and really welcoming as I make it to the front of the residence I see a plaque stating it's the Halsey residence. Well time to get to work. After knocking back a few drinks and making small talk I dance with a few broads, cop a feel with a stunning looker and then excuse myself to the restroom. I notice from the corner of my eye that Luigi is having a raucous good time and really enjoying the company of one particular girl who looks like a drop dead bombshell.

In the restroom I pull out my leather gloves and hairpins, after taking a nice relaxing #1 I'm reading the newspaper while enjoying the music emanating in from the ballroom trying to look the part in case someone walks in. These huge estates have all types of crawlspaces and I notice one at the bottom right corner of this spacious restroom. I head out and motion for Luigi to come over. I tell him my plan and then we get to work. With my little screwdriver I undo the crawlspace cover and wedge my way into the 3x3 wormhole. Luigi sticks the cover back on and pulls a potted plant in front so it doesn't fall over.

I crawl thru the dank dusty space and stop when I hear a conversation at one room. Something about getting a Federal loan to buyout some banker and screw over the middle class in Detroit so that they can bring the hubcap business to The Bronx. Hmmm duly noted. I keep crawling then I hear some moaning and grunting coming from another room..... ok no time to dabble too long in front of that grate I keep going until I get to another room that looks very nice and is real quiet. I kick open the grate and make my way down into the room. Looking around it looks like I made a mistake the room obviously belongs to some little girl, but it's a rich little girl, and amazingly there is a cage against one wall with 4 fluffy white and gray rabbits in it. Well if I don't get any jewels I can at least give Luigi his rabbits and head back to the party to try to get some action. 

As I make my way thru the room searching for valuables I feel the walls and *click *click find a a secret panel with a pull back wall. Bingo here's the score. Behind the pull back wall is a large Morris safe, oh shit I ain't got the skill for this stuff. Should've invited the Don Enaento or looking more closely at the features of this safe it probably would have to have been Desmand..... oh well moving along...... I continue thru the room and find some jewelry drawers and rings. Looks like real gold and wooohooo look at that must be a ruby. I grab the rings and grate the pearl necklace on my teeth to prove to myself it's real and stuff my pockets. Before I leave the room I grab the two cutest rabbits and stuff them in my coat pockets along with all the loot.

I open the bedroom door from the inside and make it thru the hallway back to the main ballroom. There I grab the first cup of champagne a server passes in front of my face and head to the backyard to check on the puppies. They're making two girls seem like they're on acid with all the face licking and puppy kissing going on and I slip thru the backyard fence door to Dominos car. I put my coat with all the loot down in the back seat and head back to the party.

I grab Luigi's attention and tell him about the heist and we go back into the backyard and go for the puppies. The broads are like butter now and we talk them up and head out of the party with one on each arm direction Queens New York. I could get into all the details about how we treated and wined and dines the ladies when we got back to Luigis neighborhood but I'm sure you can imagine how that went....heheheeh good times}

After three days and non stop partying the cash I got from the jewels was all spent the puppies were whimpering and I can't even begin to explain how the backseat of Dominos car looked between the rabbit pellets spent latex and random things piled on top of each other. I headed back to HQ in Chicago with one hell of a headache and plenty of stories. I was sure Domino would know that headache clear out of my brain and snatch her puppies back - not sure how I would explain the backseat to her - I'll probably need to pull double duty for a long while and buy her a new car.......oh well it was worth it!!!