ChrisPalko, excited as ever, grasps his old moldy decrepit and sticky ringpop while smiling wide. Today was finally the day somebody would take that stinking thing off his hands. It was the day of the wedding, the entire loop and several other key mobsters were to attend.

BloodySpikeS was there, urinating at the reception, and sticking his tongue out at every motherfucking thing he found amusing. Chris thought back about the brown spot on the lawn of his grandfather's white house and shook his head.

Jeddy of course was standing at the door, attempting to tax and extort all of the poor people that entered the church, and of course get some free sushi at the reception

Chris continued to look around and marvel at all these friends (or would-be assassins it's always hard to tell). Bunny and EricNorthman were in the back making out, Cantillon and JohnnyNoName were getting drunk and making what they called 'goat noises' it was terribly disturbing and sounded slightly sexual, Jono of course was outside stealing every hub cap off the cars in the parking lot (which I said was okay because he let me use a monkey as a ringbearer) obviously @Draven was there acting as lookout.

Chris and his Man of Honor Mako were in a back room of the church, smoking a joint obviously look who we're talking about here. 

Thank you so much mako, I couldn't have done this without you. Chris Says.

Mako turns to him, eyes redder than the fucking devil and says:

I get to bang the maid of honor, right?

Yeah buddy, of course you do.

Finally it was the time he had been waiting for, for years now! There TinyTina stood with her maid of honor JudasPriest as Chris stood with a high but now extremely angry Makofather, as he stared at his date for the wedding.

Kyubey was behind the altar and titled his head, "Would you like to make a contract?" 

ChrisPalko and TinyTina smiled and nodded as Kyubey began to speak:

Do you Chris, take Tina the Tiny Terror, Tyrant of The Teenie Tittie Committee to have and to resent, forever and ever?

I do! Chris Exclaimed

And do you Tina, take Chris the Corny Criminal, Conveyor of Chlamydia? 

The crowd awaited TinyTina's answer with bated breath

Morgoth rudely interrupted the wedding, bursting into the room and slicing some poor sod's throat, splattering blood everywhere. When he became he got some weird looks and the majority of the guests were ignoring him, he retreated and looked for some new potential sacrifices.

Morgoth the Goomba sacrifice occurs during the reception you should know this. You now owe your soul to Kyubey. And Jeddy isn't allowed to tax it.

I have no objections to Kyubey owning my soul. He can have it, I don't need it. Makes me feel less guilty about all those sacrifices <3

Also, I object to this wedding. I want to marry ChrisPalko.

TinyTina and her wedding entourage were in the other back room getting ready. JudasPriest was fussing over her peach pink dress and making sure there was enough cleavage for days. TinyTina’s angel Kelly_Kapowski was fixing and fussing over Tina’s vail as Tina stared into the mirror. She was beautiful, it was really a miracle. A knock came at the door and they were all told it was time for the walk. Tina was the last to leave the room, she let all her brides maids go first. 

JudasPriest walked with Makofather. After they were half way down the aisle, Curtis and Zephyra took their spots at the top of the aisle, Curtis offer his arm to Zephyra and Zephyra turning up her nose at him and walked a few steps ahead of him. Good thing there was a couple of true love birds next. Deadpool and PamelaIsley walked arm and arm down the runway as if they were the ones getting married. Finally, it was TinaTina’s turn. She met her father figure TheDude at the top of the walkway and he gave her a kiss on her forehead. 

As they walked down the aisle, Tina noticed friendly faces in the crowd. She was happy to see that BoxCutterPazzy was there, though it didn’t look like he had showered after his last kill. His suit was splattered with blood. Vodquila the vampire was lurking in the shadows while PantiesBeDroppin was sitting between four female wedding guests. Tina rolled her eyes as each woman looked like she was about to fall head over hears for Panties and start throwing their panties at him. Visas sat in front of them, her dress was absolutely fabulous. Even Desmand and Genocide were there. They must have had the day off from selling puppies with Enaento and Domino. 

Tina was very happy at all those who showed up for such a memorable day. As TheDude led her down, Tina smiled at her husband to be, ChrisPalko. She was honestly the luckiest little lady ever. How she had won such a prize. Tina was convinced her angle, Kelly, had sent him to her. They were quite happy. Just as Tina was losing herself in the joy of her big day a rude voice called objection. The wedding hadn’t even started! Tina whipped around to look at who was speaking. Morgoth. She glared at him.

You are so rude! I will kill you. Get the fuck out of my wedding!!!

She screamed at him rather loudly. Tina turned back around and joined Chris at the alter. 

“And do you, Tina, take Chris the Corny Criminal, Conveyor of Chlamydia?”

Kyubey asked her and she bit her lip. This was it. This was her prince charming and her ever after. He had awoken her after she took a bite of a poisonous apple. He had kissed her awake after a deep sleep of a cursed spindle of a spinning wheel. ChrisPalko was dreamy. He had eyes she wanted to look into all day and a face she wanted to burn with acid think about all day.
 

I.....

BoxCutterPazzy had been cleaning his gun in peace when he heard a slight pause in his good friends speech. Unshaven and unclean as was normal , BCP stood up and cleared his throat.

Excuse me. Sorry Tina. But I have a few words to say.

Nodding to Tina and the groom. SCP makes his way to the alter. Pushing the cat thing away from the mic, BCP checks it.

Testing! TESTING! Ok, seems to be working.

Taking another gun from his coat pock, he begins to strip it down and begins cleaning it. Not even looking up. BCP begins to speak.

Thank you all for coming. I know I did not give her away, but I feel I must speak on her behalf. I noticed that the drowery is not proper yet. She was at least worth 5 cows. I only see 2 outside. He father and I will talk about that in the near future. One must give the proper amount to be considered accurate. Also, the booze here at the bar. Come on, 4 bottles of whiskey! Thats it! We mustfix this at once so I took it upon myself to get that fixed.

grabbing a smoke and liting it, BCP makes himself comfy.

Now theres the single sluts avaible. No No i don't mean the guests. Geez, I mean the sluts for us all attending that want a good time. Come on Tina, look at the guests, you know some of them can not contain themselfs. You really should have thought about us on your big day.

points at his empty glass and grabs his flask, wipes his face with a napkin and conts.

Now! Where is the donkey? Does anyone see a donley here? I didn't think so. And midgets. WTF! no midgets, no donkeys. I'm disappointed. And no strippers. Geez, I'm your friend but i have boxes here, make it worth my wild. Is there anyone who disagrees..... I didn't think so.

BCP puts his gun away and looks at the crowd.

Anyone else wanna talk  cause I can go on before she can say I DO!

JudasPriest reluctantly walked down the isle with Mako, the constant hand grabbing and bum groping confused him in a way he didn't want to be confused. Luckily TinyTina had a slim fitting pink dress so JudasPriest kept checking out her behind and her large amount of cleavage which assured him he was still on the straight track. He knew anyway because he shacked up with TinyTina in the back room a few moments earlier, she said "She wanted something to remember before living the long life with one person" and he couldn't agree more. 

They wedding seemed to be going off without a hitch, except for some dude running around the back of the church throwing people to the ground, pouring tomato ketchup over them and shouting "SACRUFICE".

JudasPriest continued to stand beside TinyTina waiting for the priest to continue the ceremony. 

TinyTina looked at BoxCutterPazzy. Watched as he pushed Kyubey out of the way and took the alter for himself. He was right about the dowry. She was worth at least 5 cows, probably more like 8, but who was really counting. Tina didn't even know what to say about the...sluts. That was until the church doors opened and Gravity walked in. Maybe if she were able to say what she wanted to say then everyone would get to the after party and stop interrupting her big day.

I.....

She choked again. Tina looked at JudasPriest in desperation. What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man. Maybe BoxCutterPazzy could fill the space again. She turned to him.

Do you have anything else you'd like to say?

BCP clears his throat.

First off. Whoever shoots that dude running around with tomatos will get $5000 from my pocket tonight. Secondly, I feel that our dear pastor insulted our bride with the itty bittie titty committe and demand 1 extra cow from his church to Tina and her groom. Third, where the hell is the fucking ring pop. Chris, what have you done. She must have a ring pop. I am highly disappointed.

Finishes his flask and grabs a bottle!

Ok thats a good start folks. I can't be the only one here with things to say. Surely someon else wants to get up here andsay some things before i take this damn church over and gets the midgets whoring in here.

At the offer of $5000 to anyone who could take out Morgoth, Tina noticed Vodquila, the vampire, move swiftly from the shadows and over take Morgoth. A lot of noises were coming from that side of the church now. Some of them sent a chill through Tina, others turned her on. A blood curdle scream here, a deep moan there. Tina couldn't tell which one was having a better time, Vodquila the Vampire or Morgoth the Dark Lord. Then, Tina saw it, Vodquila plunge his fangs into Morgoth. 

Morgoth actually didn't mind being assaulted by a vampire, but he was slightly affronted his head was on the hit list. However, the thought of having kinky pleasures with Vodquila the Vampire made up for it.

wonders into a wedding uninvited just to see the Tiny dancer I mean Tiny Tina getting married and sits at the back of the church spots Mako grabbing at JudusPriest's bottom, smirks while thinking about how Mako will  either shoot or explain he was confused by the amount of peach cloth in the morning. should we all wonder about that ? and then begins to wonder how Judus has such fabulous hair  what shampoo does Judus use ? who cares it is the Tiny dancer's I mean Tiny Tina's day! hides away hoping not to get shot or knifed !

ChrisPalko claps twice and the doors of the church swing open.

In walks 6 cows carrying kegs of beer, followed by a monkey wearing a cowboy hat, with a little pillow that has a ringpop on top. Chris nods and gestures to BCP as his eyes light up.

The little monkey walks up to the altar and gives Chris the ringpop. Chris looks over at his blushing bride and takes her hand to put the ring on...

Well, Tina?

Ciro had no idea what to make of the scene unfolding before his very eyes. This was the first wedding he had ever attended in America and it really made him nostalgic for his home in Palermo, Sicily.

The Church was beautiful and everyone was dressed to the 9's. Many Dons, Made Men and Godfathers were in attendance and there was a pair of cows outside as well as a vampire and some really enthralled Dark Lord tossing and turning on the floor next to the pews. There were maids of honor and their dates and a guy dressed in priest clothing. It was all amazing to witness. Ciro placed the large gift and envelope of money that Enaento had given him next to all the other gifts at the table and stepped over several bodies strewn with tomato sauce, he thought what a shame how many Strombolis and delicious Pizzas could have been made with all that juicy tomato goodness. Ciro sat quietly at the pew and listened to the priest marry the bride and groom.

He was on the edge of his seat waiting for the reply from the soon to be bride, Ms.TinyTina..........

gasps from my hiding place "six cows with beer AND a monkey wearing a cowboy hat! gathers myself quickly and mutters how the blazes can she turn that down !

"I DO NOT APPROVE!" Draven looked horridly at the ring pop and shook her head as she watched TinyTina. "What the.." She paused as she noticed Vodquila feeding frantically on the parties at the wedding.

"Vodquila.. Really.. uggg.." She had turned away from the couple and then stormed off to Vodquila. "I can't take you fucking anywhere can I?"

She abrubtly grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him off his victim. Blood spewed from where his teach had ripped a large pieve of flesh off and she sighed as the chuck protruded from his mouth as she looked at him. The ooze had began to seep to the her shoes and she sighed at the mess everywhere. 

"The homeless Vodquila.. just the damned homeless. Christ man how much do you eat." She watched as the chunk of flesh fell from his mouth and hit the floor. 

"Tina erm.. I'm ermm.. kinda sorry?" She shrugged as she looked back at Vodquila that had now started to squirm from her grip. 

Draven scowled at him and tightened her grip more. "The fucking homeless.. damn.." She shook him a bit as she repeated it. She understood he had to eat and she didn't mind the grizzly way he consumed his prey but she couldn't have it being just anyone. No one would miss a person or two a night from the homeless that wondered aimlessly around but this was a different story. 

She walked over to TinyTina and placed a few hundred dollars in her pocket. Looking at Vodquila, whom she still held tightly to keep him from preying on others, she sighed a bit and then spoke. "Here at least maybe later will be better with that. Enjoy."

walks into the crowd and drinks whiskey watching everyone.He was here to search a vampire.He hates these kinds of stuff,he never go to parties or weddings if not needed or if there is no job.He was waiting for the wedding part to end the party starts so he can find the vampire easily and kill it without notice.John plays poker with other ppl and drinks whiskey while waiting the wedding to end

MissPinky followed some cows into a church where she saw some people being married by a strange looking rabbit.

SCORE.

She turned to someone in a pew.

is there an open bar?

While The_Dutchman walks down the steets after a long day, he could hear a noise as if a big crowd was near. It appeared to be coming from that church over there... Hmm better check out what's going on? It might be important...

As soon as he reaches the entrance, he notices it must be some kind of gathering, most likely a wedding? Ow, how fun! The_Dutchman always felt some kind of joy for these kinds of things, however he himself never had the honor... Ahwell, take a quick look? Who cares!"

So, The_Dutchman steps into the church, and if there was any security or guards at the entrance, he isn't noticed anyway. He heads for the room where the main event is. There appears to be some kind of vampire-monster-murdering orgy going on..? Hmm.

"Now that's a kind of wedding i've never seen, heheh!" He speaks out loud accidentally. People around him laugh shortly.
"Well, i know this has already been quite a hectic wedding, so let me just say that i for one, hope there will be 2 times Yes, and as a detail i would like to note that i'm a Lawyer, and an expert on eh... Crime cases and such. Not sincerely unnatural stuff... But ok heheh."

Because he doesn't want to draw attention TOO much, The_Dutchman heads for a bar and asks for a light liquor drink. Right after that he remains to the main crowd but stays in the back, far away from these vampires and such. What did he walk into this time... Oww, that curious mind of mine... Hmm.

Tina the Tiny Terror, Tyrant of the The Teenie Tittie Committee, stood at the alter with her love, Chris the Corny Criminal, Conveyor of Chlamydia. She had still not said I do. Or I don’t. She hadn’t said anything for a long time, she just watched as the mayhem unfolded itself at her special day. TinyTina watched Draven drag Vodquila the Vampire off of Morgoth. The two seemed to have been enjoying themselves as Vodquila wanted to go back to biting and Morgoth wanted to go back to getting bitten. 

Liar entered the church looking a bit jealous of Mako grabbing @JudusPriest’s behind. CiroAntonino dropped off a gift at the gift table and then stepped over the bodies that had been shot to death with tomato juice before taking his seat. Someone had yelled about six cows and a monkey and then Tina saw the cows. After the cows came MissPinky looking for the booze. Of course. 

After the cows a man TinyTina didn’t know, but knew his name The_Dutchman, walked in and started talking about being a lawyer and something about criminal cases. She hoped he didn’t notice that the tomato killer had strikes again or that Morgoth was bleeding out in the back. Tina averted her eyes from him and over to BoxCutterPazzy who now looked even more bloody. Had he killed someone too? She asked herself. This wedding was become less of a wedding and more of a blood bath as each minute went by. 

I do! 

She screamed and tossed her bouquet of flowers at the priest/cat/thing.

Now get up and finish our ceremony!!