Morgoth walks on the streets, minding his own business, when suddenly he get's a burst of inspiration. He is quick to grab paper and pencil, and writes for several minutes. When he is done he conjures some tape and smugly attaches the paper to a wall. It reads:

I guess I’ll start off with about this thread is going to be updated. Maybe daily, probably weekly, maybe it’s completely random. It’s going to be updated at least.

Now you might be asking, does any man deserve a thread solely centered about that man? The answer to that is no.

Still, I will be writing about a person, but that person is much more than a mere man. Some say he doesn’t wear shoes on Mondays. Rumors persists that he doesn’t trim his toenails.

His name is too holy to be mentioned here, but for the sake of practicality, I will defy the law and say his name aloud.

TepidDelucci.

Some of you might feel like this person is just like any other, in which case you would be wrong. Terribly wrong even.

Tepid knows everything. He knows what is unknown to him. While he has been slacking on his prescience, I am urging him to work on it. It is for the good of all, so please Tepid, no more laziness!

He’s also an extremely accomplished lover. If you do not believe this, you can always check with Amethyst , who  -even if Tepid has only an E.N.C.H (Lols!) below – is more than happy with his abilities. It’s a known fact in IRC Avenue that Tepid is a God. For the sake of decency we will not talk that what he is god of.

As you might have noticed, Tepid recently acquired the permission to establish a crew, which I am a proud part of. I wish Tepid (and myself!) the best of luck in this new adventure. Who wouldn’t want to join a man as godly as Tepid?

Next time in Lukewarm Legends: The long road to Godhood – And what’s with that beard?

MrKuku hammers a better poster over the one that this ... bounder has put up...

MY ONE IS CLEARLY BETTER!!

MrKuku, I found that your one has a awful lack of Tepid! He already is a legend!

Well say your piece, my good man.

After reading the note Morgoth left behind, TinyTina feverishly wrote one of her own. After she was finished she tacked it up below his hoping he'd catch a glimpse of it when he came back to daily update his legend.

Morgoth, I did indeed ask myself, does any man deserve a note tacked up (thread, lolz) for the public to enjoy solely centered about that man?

Of course he does!!! Morgoth, you've been through so much. You lost the love of your life, ChrisPalko. You were mauled by a vampire, Vodquila the vampire, at the wedding you lost the love of your life, ChrisPalko, at. You must be absolutely, insanely distraught as not just a man, but a person. It makes sense that you would dive straight into another man. To stroke him, to pleasure him. Now that Chris is gone, you need to fill that hole.

Tepid is a great choice. He's your crew leader, your boss, your main man. He gave you a home to have, a bed to sleep in, friends to make and a family for support. This is an excellent way to show your undying love for Tepid. Hopefully he doesn't go and marry someone else right in front of you. I'd hate to poke those hot coals. 

Morgoth sees the mixed reaction and responds by handing out yet another pamphlet, one more controversial than the first!

I said I would return to update, and here I am, about two days after the first issue of this series!

I am a man of my word, and thus I will talk about THE BEARD today. Some of you might wonder what importance the beard can possible have?

The beard is EVERYTHING. Well not really, but it has a large role in the wonderful being that is TepidDelucci.

The beard is independent of mind, which means it can think and make decisions for itself. The beard is very wise. The beard is also a lovely home to a nest of happy young birds (and some lice!). To shave the beard would be an act of utter sacrilige!

But I most definitely don't think the beard is all-important, not at all!

While there is no way to prove it, I think Tepid's persona consist out of three individual entities, each independent yet connected with the others!

• The Beard - Wisest of all, knows everthing, even before it happens.
• The Eyes - They see everything, nothing escapes their sight.
• The Mouth - Educates the masses, spreads love and delights all around.

With that said, I must admit that I do not think Tepid is a full god yet. He still has unfortunate habits which reminds me of a mortal being, but with proper training and enough time this can be corrected, yes sir!

To achieve full Godhood, my lovely Tepid will have to complete quite a checklist!

• Get a crew
• Get a personal donkey
• Get a lover
• Get two lovers
• Get lots of units
• Become Godfather
• Jihad

Getting Godfather is no mean feat, but I am sure my lovely Tepid can reach that, no problem at all!

The last part might be tricky however. Will Tepid get enough followers to fulfill his destiny and flood the world with his holy Jihad? We've yet to find out.

Until next time!

(Which will be a bit about Amethyst too!)

*TINA CLAPS LOUDLY AND CHEERFULLY AT THE NEW INSTALLMENT IN MORGOTH'S DEDICATION TOWARDS HIS CREW LEADER. A MAJESTIC PIECE.*

Morgoth hands out a rather short pamphlet. Short yet VERY important!

As promised, another update!

Like I said, I will talk about Tepid’s faithful partner today! Some call her Amethyst, some call her Lush, but I just call her awesome.  There are only a few people I would willingly become a personal donkey to, and Amethyst is one of those people!

She also reached 365 days or 1 year of age today! Hooray!

When Tepid is not around I often find myself mailing nonsense and gibberish to Amethyst instead, which she doesn’t mind at all. Sometimes she even send nonsense back! Bonus points for that.

Thus I think Amethyst is one of Tepid’s ‘’engines’’.  She keeps him running, she is there when he needs her. A bit like me, but female? I would look good in a dress too , really!

This however, brings us to a tricky question: What is Amethyst? If Tepid is a god or demi-god, surely Amethyst must be one too? Surely a deity would not cuddle and snuggle with a mere mortal? I therefore add Amethyst to the Tepidian pantheon, as half-god and/or angelic being.  You’re special, Amethyst, whatever you might say otherwise >:D

Now the basis for a full-blown religion for the great Tepid has been laid, and it must be expanded! So…

 

Coming soon:  Tepidism and you!