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The City of Brotherly Revans Started by: Ted on Oct 31, '14 20:04

Ted, after a few hours of watching what he assumed to be two squirrels making sweet, sweet love decides to stand up from the chair he fashioned out of sticks and berries and walks over to a magical place. A long winding road going up and down every which way, where people, usually mobsters; decide to stand up and say their piece about whatever the hell it is they care about. Murder or something.

Being an unruly rabble rousing mobster himself, he decides to stand up and be heard. Something which he had never thought he would do in all of his time in this place he calls his weird ass home. Standing atop a fallen down and broken up telephone booth he clears his throat and speaks up to the masses.

"Mobsters and lady-mobsters, lend me your gun. Ha ha. It's a mob joke, not that we're in the mob, because announcing that for all to hear would be silly, mind you not that it is a silly profession. I am sure there are loads of sweet mobsters out there who care for the community and all that good stuff. I mean not confirming anything, but if we were mobsters then this is something you'd want to hear. Although, like I said, definitely not. No. The mafia is dangerous and I do not condone it at all."

Attempting to wink, he smiles at the small amount of people who have crowded around him and begins the more meaty part of his speech, clearing his throat one last time in an almost annoying-fashion he gets back to it...

"So, as I was saying. Today I would like to talk about the state of Philadelphia, no haha you sillies, I know Philly isn't a State, but I meant it in the other way... I think. Wait, is Philadelphia a State?"

He motions for an Owl which lands onto his shoulder and whispers in his ear, after a few minutes of discussion the owl flies away and Ted flashes yet another grin. He pulls a tiny knife out of his pocket and attempts a few tricks before dropping it into one of the broken parts of the telephone booth, after a few moments of unsuccessfully retrieving the weapon he jumps back up and pretends as if nothing had just occurred.

"Damn... that's what you get for a little showmanship, eh? Anywhooo. Yes, I've been informed that Philly is in fact not a State and I had used the term correctly. Now back to the story! One day long ago there was a man named Revan, a glorious man with a glorious plan. The man cavorted his days away with the animals of the now ruined city of Philadelphia and only he was able to keep it sane, but sadly there have been others who have decided they can take the mantle."

His mouth, now agape, mutters a single "NO." as he shakes his head and a feeling of melancholy befalls the entire now-extremely large and obviously entertained crowd. 

"These people need to know one thing and one thing only. It ain't easy being a King, and this sad attempt at attention should be washed away and never tried again; unless of course by the great one himself, the one who is most deserving of the spot at the top of the city we all call Philly - the great and always cordial Revan."

Jumping down from the telephone booth he high fives a few of the crowd as he walks through them, knowing he had made his point as wonderfully and awe-inspiring as possible. Picking up a can of paint, Ted sighs and begins walking towards the cemetery with a clear goal in his mind.

"Now if you'll all excuse me, there is a certain stone of time that I need to fix."

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