A couple of days of quite and cleaning had started to settle the madness that preceded it. Curtis had noticed the streets flooded with new arrivals. Most of then next generation mobsters flooding in to take their parent's places and carry on their family line. The country saw an almost frenetic level of recruitment and work related introductions taking place. 

He'd had several conversations with young petty thieves and thugs attempting to get work in his family. This made him wonder how much attention any of them really paid to what they were doing. He drank some more absinthe and wrote a list before deciding to make himself heard. Heading down to the docks he pasted it up on the wall next to the immigration offices. 

"Hello! I'm sure you've all had the relentless spam invitations and doubtless you will want to make your own decision about which family you want to join. Who wouldn't? Well, at the risk of stating the bloody obvious, here are a few pointers that may help you get into the family you have your little heart set on."

•  Do your homework 

This was actually the point that started me off on this. More than one person asked to join my family when it is clearly full. Don't fail before you start. If you want to join a family at least look at the basics. Have they got any space? Are they recruiting? Have they represented themselves in public anywhere that you may benefit from reading? What can you find out about them? You have ample time when you get here, do your research. 

• Be polite

​This can't be underestimated. I don't mean take a running lunge at your target and ram your unwanted nose right up their unprepared arse. No one likes a brown noser. Don't be a cocky twat either, the people that will employ you know you aren't doing them a favor. Just be polite, not pushy or pissy.

• Speak clearly

A clearly worded conversation is so vital. Age old classics like 'can i join ur cru plz?' will only ever work on people you really don't want to work for. Other enticements can also fail if it sounds like its coming from some verbal epileptic who has no grasp of the language.

'Let meh in an i givz u sex :P' might seem like a worthy offer of service but spoken that way its unlikely to work. However 'If you give me a home I will furnish you with the kind of sex your wife refuses to deliver' may be just as grossly inappropriate but will probably illicit a much more favorable reply. Likewise, saying something like 'If you give me the opportunity I will be a great earner for the family and contribute all I can' will yield a much better results than 'I haz puuure $£$ 2 giv for ur cru'. In a world where all we have is words, how you say something is so very, very important!

• Pay attention 

​This works both ways. Firstly its very important to pay close attention when your potential employer is speaking to you. Listen carefully and consider your responses. Jumping to conclusions and running off at the mouth isn't wise. I have often asked unorthodox questions to see if the person I was speaking to was paying attention. The other side of this is finding out about the people you are going to work for. If you listen carefully to them you might find out that they are not the super-slick superstars you thought and you might not want to give your life for them. Lord knows there are enough feckless morons around in Crew Leader clothes these days. Its a mine-field, be careful. Pay attention.

•  Jazz Hands

​Be interesting. The last thing you want to do is bore the tits off the mobster taking the time to talk to you. You have a personality, you have attributes and qualities, make them show. Do something to illustrate the fact you are not a hopeless gimp and you may make a good impression.

​

"There are innumerable imbeciles, drips and goons out there going for work. The amount of plant life the average family leader has to wade through to find one or two decent people is horrendous. If you take the time to speak surely and clearly, it will make all the difference. Instead of being a cash donkey to make up the numbers you could show potential and be nurtured, trusted and groomed for a pivotal role in your family's future. All from well chosen words.

Likewise you can also do yourself a big favor and use the same skills to avoid the plethora of blanket clutchers who have fluked a position of power in this thing."

Glancing around at the faces he takes a sip of the absinthe in his flask. Damn stuff was addictive and in abundant supply. Spike's untimely demise left him with a huge regular shipment and nothing to do but drink it. Looking past the hallucinogenic haze he decided it probably best to close up. 

"One of my ancestor's favorite sayings was 'Your words are all we have to judge you by, choose them carefully', I have found that to ring true through the generations. Use your heads and good luck to you."

Taking a seat nearby Curtis resolved to drink the rest of his flask before moving along with his day.

Achilles does something dramatic before responding to Curtis. He catches the eye of a few ladies and hip thrusts in their direction.

What annoys the shit out of me is the fact that this speech has been needed. I have seen people openly offer new faces substantial amounts of cash in order to join their family. It's fucking ridiculous. I understand every new member might be a good investment but it just doesn't make sense to me. Leaders begging thugs to join their family to the point where they feel the need to offer them $100,000 or more if they join.

It's a shame that these are the standards that are now set and who would really turn down an offer of that sort? Free cash to get some extra protection? Ye I can see why people do it. On the flip side though Curtis's speech is very important to those new faces around our shores. You need to think about where you want to invest your own time, effort and money before committing to a family for the rest of your life. It may be the difference between a long and short one.

The idea of the young thug these days is, what can you do for me.

Achilles, you are spot on with the standards slipping of the sort. And I'm afraid its going to be like that for awhile now. The thought of people no contributing to the bigger of things, and just focusing on themselves, is NOT what this "things of ours" is about. One thing is mention though is that some leaders allowing member whoring. Or better yet, their sponsors will send out invites without truly speaking to someone.