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| New Member in the Noble House of Batiatus | Started by: Vodrux on Jan 13, '15 01:11 |
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Greetings to all of you. Greetings to you almighty Dons, Godfathers and other snobbish people. Greetings to you men and women of honour. And finally, greetings to you my fellow low-born associates. It is I, the mighty Vodrux and I have been accepted into the Noble and most Honourable House of Batiatus by my Dominus, Lord Batiatus himself. Let all men bow and pick up the soap for my Lord's pleasure and let seed, olive oil, wine and honey be smeared on the bare backs of all women for my Lord's entertainment. Fear and respect the most Noble and Honourable Batiatus for I, Vodrux, 10% human, 50% psychopathic weapon and 40% sexual predator have sworn upon the honour of my testicles and tommy gun to serve him and bring all his foes to a drawn out and horrific doom by smiting them and casting them into the peachy pits. And thus, I, Vodrux will one day rise from low-born scum to a made man of honour. |
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How does one acquire membership for this Noble House of Batiatus? Do we need to offer up sacrifices? I am eager to join. |
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| Reply by: Ryu at Jan 13, '15 14:23 | |
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I assure you Ryu, being a member of the Noble House of Batiatus is no fun and games. You should be prepared to be part of the floor sweeping, birdshit cleaning, toilet scrubbing individuals. I have experienced this first hand and thankfully with the help of Holy Bearderus, "HAIL BEARDERUS!", and my boss Barry, I have been saved from the maltreatment that comes with being Batiatus' associate. So I warn thee, be careful in joining this Noble House that Vodrux speaks of. |
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| Reply by: Richard_Watterson at Jan 13, '15 15:50 | |
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Tony walks alongside the road taking a pull of his cigar. He looks around and sees a man with a couple of people talking. Tony's interest peaks. He takes a couple steps forward as he is unable to hear everything. He only hears a few words here and there. "....Batiatus....pick up soap........sexual predator.......testicles." Tony laughs as he obviously is not hearing the full conversation. He decides to just walk away from the small group and lightly speaks. "Nah." He walks away smiling wondering what in the hell he just heard. |
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| Reply by: TonyCapazzo at Jan 13, '15 16:33 | |
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News had reached Barry's forehead that one of his promising associates had taken the streets making a declaration of loyalty. This pleased Barry given that he was partial to both declarations of loyalty and street visits. He happened upon Vodrux and the few people he was addressing, somewhere between picking up soap and swearing an oath upon his testicles and Tommy gun. "Hm" Barry mused as he made eye contact with a man making an exit with a grin on his face. He wondered just what it was Batiatus was whispering in his associates ears and vowed to get to the bottom of his distasteful teachings. "Perhaps one day you shall, Vodrux" he added, offering the man a smile for his performance. There was a light smattering of applause and Richard_Watterson muttering something about needing to get back to his duties. Barry decided to continue upon his way. |
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| Reply by: Barry at Jan 13, '15 16:40 | |
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Vodrux turned solemnly to Ryu. "You are welcome to join the Noble and most Honourable House of Batiatus, but given your lowly status of Goomba, you cannot be accepted using an oath on your testicles like I did" he tells him.
"To join, you will need to please my Lord first by picking up the soap for him when you are not expecting it. He enjoys making others scream".......... |
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| Reply by: Vodrux at Jan 13, '15 17:07 | |
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