I nudged the body with the toe of my boot.

"Well, he's dead."

"You sure, Pool?  We ain't got the time for you to be wrong.  The cops'll be here any minute," Alfredo asked.  He was a hulking man with fists like boulders and arms like tree trunks.  Alfredo was a marvelous enforcer.

I looked at him and shrugged, then stepped back and kicked the body in the ribs, hard.  There was the sickening crunch of bone breaking.

"Yeah.  Dead.  I can check again if you want."

"No... no, that's alright.  Who done it?"

"I don't know, Alfredo, let me ask him."  I kneeled beside the corpse and turned his head toward me.  "Who killed you, Pete?"  I grabbed his jaw and moved his mouth, changing my voice.  "I don't know, Deadpool, but you're the greatest guy I know.  Handsome and strong, I don't know how the ladies resist you."  I looked up at Alfredo as he nervously turned away.

"You're a sick fuck, Deadpool, you know that?  Pete was a friend of mine."

"Pete was an asshole and you know it.  Hell, I remember when you broke his jaw.  Isn't that right Pete?"  I nodded his head.

"It don't matter.  You don't speak ill of the dead."

"Awww, don't worry.  He'll never hear about it."

"Why the fuck are we still here?  Let's go."

I turned Pete's head to the left and right, looking it over.  There was a small hole beside his ear where a small calibur bullet had entered his skull.   I reached into his pocket and took his wallet.

"Bastard.  He owed me forty-seven dollars from a poker game, but he kept telling me he didn't have the cash.  There's two c-notes here."

"You're stealing a dead guy's wallet.  What the hell?"

"Hey, he owed me.  Asshole."  I stood and kicked him again.  Alfredo glared at me.  "What?  Just making sure."

We left his body in the alley and headed back to meet the boss.  Odd had informed us earlier of the location of our late comrade and asked us to look into the matter.  We sat in his plush office, in front of his desk.  He stood, smoking a cigar and looking out his window.

"So, what's the deal?"

"Pete's dead.  Someone thought that his head needed an airhole, so they added one behind his ear.  Small calibur, probably a .22.  That made it easier to conceal the noise.  Usually, pro's don't use such a tiny gun, but that shot behind the ear severed the brainstem.  He died instantly.  So, either a ameteur with good luck or a pro with a tiny piece."  I laughed and Odd turned to look at me.  "Sorry, boss.  It's just that I said "tiny piece."

Odd and Alfredo shook their heads in unison.  "What?  Pete was an asshole, we all know it."

Odd gave a little half-smile.  "You're right, he was an asshole.  But he was my asshole."

I snorted, trying to refrain from laughing.

"You know what I mean.  Damn it!  Get out of here and find who killed him!"

"Well, you think we're at war, Pool?"

"Nah, someone probably killed him for being himself.  Just pissed off the wrong person, I'd guess.  I mean, if we were at war, what would be the point of killing Pete?" 

"Then why does the Oddfather care?  Pete's on the bottom of the food chain."

"Food chain?  Why, Alfredo, you've been reading again, haven't you?"  He shrugged, slightly embarrassed.  "Alfredo, Pete was married to one of Odd's cousins.  That's the only reason he had a place in the family.  I'm sure that Odd has to put on a show for his cousin."

We got into the car and Alfredo drove us to Pete's home.  A black sedan was parked outside.

"What the hell?  That's Linguine's car.  What the hell is he doing here?"

Salvatore Linguine was one of Odd's worst enemies.  They had been fighting over the same stretch of turf since the beginning of time.  I knew his car by sight, as it had tried to run me down at least twice.

We got out of our car and I pulled a knife from my belt, then stabbed the rear tires of the sedan.  Alfredo scowled at me.

"What?  I'm taking precautions, in case we have to split in a hurry."

We walked up to the porch and I knocked on the door.  Salvatore Linguine himself answered.  I kicked him squarely in the balls. 

He doubled over and I shoved him back.  One of his goons was sitting on the couch, I drew a .45 from its holster and threw it at his head, knocking him out cold.  Another henchman came out of the kitchen with a sandwich, but I was on him with an uppercut before he could react.  Linguine writhed in the floor, trying to catch his breath.  Pete's widow sat in an armchair, speechless.

"So, um, Mrs. Pete, I was wondering if maybe you could explain what these guys are doing here?  Oh, and my condolences on the loss of your husband.  He was a lovely man."  I smiled to make sure she believed it.

"He was an asshole.  You're all assholes, but he was a bigger asshole than any of you.  These assholes are here because he was making book for them while he was making book for my cousin.  Ripping off Odd.  He was posting bets for Linguine after he got the results of the races, so that it looked like Linguine's people were winning.  Linguine is here to collect on a bet.  Evidently, Pete died owing him a million bucks."  She stood up and walked to Linguine, who was still trying to get to his feet.  She kicked him in the balls again.

"Does it look like I have a million bucks, asshole?  Does it?"

Linguine tried to talk.  He only managed to squeak.  I looked at Alfredo, shrugged, and walked to the couch to pick up my gun.  I walked back to Linguine, kneeled down, and shoved the gun in his face. 

"Listen.  You and your sleeping friends are going to vacate the premises, post haste.  That means you're getting the hell out.  If you come back, or drive by, or even think about this house again, I'm coming for you."

Alfredo walked up behind me, drew his gun, and shot Linguine in the face.  He turned and shot the unconscious henchman on the couch, then the unconscious henchman by the kitchen.  I stood, stunned by his sudden bloodlust.  He grinned, then hit me in the face with his gun.

I woke up on the couch, next to the corpse of Pete's widow.  Her throat had been cut ear to ear.  I could hear someone in the house, ransacking another room.  My hands were bound behind me.  Alfredo came back into the living room and looked down at me.

"Sorry 'bout this, Pool, but that asshole had a million bucks here.  I couldn't get him to talk, so I wacked him, hoping his old lady would run with the cash.  Linguine knew he had the million somewhere, must've tried to find it, too.  Turns out the bitch didn't know much."  He grinned again.  "I worked on her for five minutes or so before I got tired and wacked her."

"Now what, Alfredo?  If you find the million and kill me, Odd's coming for you.  Leave me alive and you're the most hunted man in the country.  You're screwed."

"Not quite.  You see, I'm going to shoot you, plant the gun that killed Pete and the gun that killed Linguine and company on you.  Then, I'll hand you that sword that you used to kill Mrs. Pete and shoot you.  I'll say I caught you in the act."

"Nice one, Alfredo.  You just forgot one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm afraid of clowns."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look over there!"  I pointed to the window, having stalled long enough to free my hands.  He looked, I grabbed the sword and hit the ground.  He swung around to fire his pistol at me, as I stood, bringing the blade upward, severing his gun hand.  He screamed and I ran the sword through his chest, silencing him, permanently.  

Later, I reported back to Odd.

"Did you find the million dollars, Pool?"

"Yeah, he invested it in stocks.  Some company called Coca-Cola.  Supposed to be a health drink.  Here's the shares he bought."  I handed him a leather attaché full of Coca-Cola stock certificates.

"Shit," he said.  "Throw 'em in the garbage on your way out the door.  What a waste of a million bucks."

You always entertain us Pool good Job !

Nicely done. Loved the ending.

agree with solvent

that was very good it was a real enjoyable story. should be a scene in a movie or somethin.

nice one well worth reading

I agree.. Very well written and very much so worth reading..

Great stuff Deadpool.