Is still waiting for a funnier joke to be told than his own. So far, no one had come close.

BeastVixen slowly meandered through the club, listening to the jokes, sometimes quietly chuckling to herself, sometimes just mischievously rolling her eyes.  She let a handsome gentleman buy her a drink and looked around for a seat.  When one came available in the crowded room, she gracefully sat down, and settled back to enjoy the rest of the jokes.  This is just the entertainment a new girl in town is looking for!

Although I feel this would be better suited in the Business District... Let's have a go.

A man walks in to a bar, he says... "OUCH!"

Baaaaaaahahahahahahhaa.

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." - My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."    

MasterMind feels there haven't been a lot of nice jokes told recently so he decided to add some fun to the Party and goes to the stage and grabs the microphone saying: The First Three who will tell jokes after I come off the stage will receive a cash gift from Me, 100,000 Dollars, 75,000 Dollars and 50,000 Dollars. Who Has got a Joke? Come on Guys, I will be sitting on my table waiting for the first three. Cheers.

"You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well I don't even own a car" 

Okay, she had listened long enough, thinking she'd shock the boys a little, she walked up to the stage...

What do tits and toys have in common?

(crickets chirping in the audience)

They were both made for kids, but daddies usually play with them more!

BeastVixen walked off the stage and collected the first of many free drinks from the gentlemen...

MasterMind smiles to the courage of JJJ To come up on the stage and tell a joke, it was not really a joke but the guy tried, so MasterMind walks to the Stage with a bag that have 100,000 Dollars and hand it to JJJ and says:

First One On Stage was JJJ

Congratulations

100,000 Dollars for JJJ

Who Will Come on The Stage Next?

MasterMind was about to come off the stage when BeastVixen came on board and told her Joke, He smiled to her joke and then pointed to one of his guards to bring another bag full of cash and he hands it over to her and says:

Let Us Congratulate BeastVixen, 2nd one on Stage

75,000 Dollars Prize for Her.

Who will be Our 3rd Joker and The Last Winner for today?

Anyone?

Bespoke sits sandwiched between a blonde and a brunette on a large leather couch that was a Vivid barbie pink colour. He casually uncoils his arms from over the girls shoulders and lights up a cigarette. 

"What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?......

.......full up!"

"What is a blonde's definition of safe sex?......

......a padded head-board!!!"

"What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning?......

.....goes home!"

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?......

......Pregnant!!!"

Bespoke repositions his arms over his female companions and notices that the girls had prepared a line of Charlie. Without hesitation Bespoke leans over and goes about snorting the lines of Charlie off each of their neck-lines. The girls help enthusiastically by holding a tightly rolled fifty dollar bill to Bespoke's nostrils while also puffing their chests up so he doesn't crank his neck too much. Finishing Bespole leans back and closes his eyes for a minute pondering on other jokes. 

Jai heard there was a joke party going on, not to miss he he rushed in to have his turn. Jai approached the mic, hands sweating. After taking a gulp Jai was ready.

"I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel."

"So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray"

"Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

Jai stands silent for a moment preparing himself for this final joke. After a slight pause Jai is ready mic in hand Jai delivers his final joke.

"A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.

"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.

"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.

"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.

"Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider"

Jai feels delighted with the way he has delivered his jokes and with that drops the mic and takes his seat with the others.

MasterMind walks to the stage for one more time to award the third Joker Bespoke, He took a bag full of cash worth 50,000 dollars and went on the stage and said: Our Third Winner is not only a joke teller but also a fine suit maker, let us congratulate Bespoke for being the 3rd person to tell a joke after my announcement.

He then hand him the bag and asks the crowd to give him a round of applause.

Bespoke smiles, waves and bows his head in acknowledgement.  He then straightens himself up and shakes his hand from side to side, "Thank you very much MasterMind, appreciated!" The Tailor smiles "I'm not finished yet" he says after taking a slug of his peaty whiskey.  Clearing his throat he throws out a few more funnies to the crowd.

"What do you call a Scottish snooker player?......

.....Chalk McCue!"

"What do you call a Chinese Snooker Player?.....

.....Wang Onein!"

"What do you call a Russian Snooker Player?.....

.....Inoff Thered!"

"What do you call a dog with no ears?....

....It does't matter what you call him....He ain't gonna come to you!"

"What do you call nuts on a wall?.....

.....Walnuts!"

"What do you call nuts on a chest?....

....Chestnuts!"

"What do you call nuts on a chin....

....a blowjob!"

Pausing for a second Bespoke takes a second slug finishing off about 3 fingers worth of his Whiskey which clears the glass.

"What are the tiny bumps around a woman's nipple?....

.....It's Braille for suck me!"

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?....

....Cliff!"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus?.....

You Pokomon!"

"How do you make a woman orgasm?....

.....Who cares!"

Bespoke cringes a bit a some of his own jokes but is frankly too fucked off his head to care.  He slumps back and starts having a threeway snog.

"I was looking inside my computer yesterday and I burnt my finger on my processor....

.....It Mhz."

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?....

......said my late wife."

"Update the force, Luke......

.....said Adobe Wan Kenobi."

"Cilla Black arrived at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter said....

.....What's your name and where do you come from?"

"Whats worse than finding a hole in your condom?....

....Finding a condom in your hole!"

Bespoke takes a long breath....


 

while walking the streets after a dinner party Ryda comes across a flyer for a party.

Why not? he thinks.

Could be fun and maybe he will find a nice lady to spend some time with and have a few drinks.

Stepping into the room the laughter and chuckles are everywhere. finding a waiter he requests a glass of gin.

While he sipped his drink, thinking it was watered down he reaches into is coat and adds his own.

Might just like this he thinks as he hears some of the worst pick up lines.

It was so obvious that this competition was fixed that it was painful. Clearly, my joke was the best and the funniest one of them all. Yes, I'm just that funny, ladies and gentlemen.

While Senza was chilling in her appartment a pigeon appeared at her window. This little pigeon had a tiny box attached on a leather collar around its neck. Senza opened her window and opened the little box.There was a  letter from MasterMind. It reads:

"Dear Don Senza,

Currently I am doing some business elsewhere. Could you please let people know that I will announce the winners tomorrow for the competition I held.

Yours truly,

MasterMind"

Senza takes the note with her and takes a cab towards the location where the Jokes party is held.
She sticks the note firmly at the door after peeking inside. Se notices there are quite some people around. She then turns around and gets into the cab to head back home to her appartment.
 

THUD!

Bespoke head hit the table as he has drunk himself into a slumber despite all the stims he has consumed tonight.  Both girl kiss him on the head simultaneously, then get up a leave.  Soon a rhythmic, quite snore can be heard emanating from the inebriated gangster.

MasterMind's Car Stops in front of his house and he gets out of it fast and heads directly to the stage and grabs the microphone and speaks to his guests saying: I'm Really Sorry for the Delay in announcing the winners. I was quite busy with Important Matters.

Winners Will be Announced Today.

MasterMind Gets on Stage for one last time in this party to announce winners, he grabs the Microphone and starts talking to the crowd:

Hello My Dear Guests,

Apologies for the Delay, I will Make It Short.

Winner Of Mafia Jokes: No One.

Winner of Blondes Jokes: Leu.

Winner of Adult Jokes: Senza

Winner of Worst Joke: ThomasPSurgeon

Winner of Highest Number of Jokes: Bespoke

3rd Place: Dope

2nd Place: KingAluCard

& The Winner of in 1st Place is: Apathy.

Please Note That Some Participants were Disqualified for not actually telling Jokes.

Congratulations to the Winners.

Hope to See You In Future Parties.

Good Night