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The Kevin Owens show Started by: KevinOwens on Aug 25, '15 18:48

As dusk settles in for the night, a fat, grumpy looking bearded guy throws his bag to the floor, gets out his wooden crate, proceeds to step onto it and begins to play an annoying gameshow type tune on his harmonica...

Howdy again folks! Welcome to the Kevin Owens show, a place where fabulous prizes can be won!

Presses the nozzle on his foghorn and it's deafening sound drags more people in, wondering what the fuck is making all that racket

I come to you today not to debate any issues, more to encourage others do the same. We have some extremely intelligent people here who can interest others at the snap of their fingers and I'm looking to expose those people to the world with a little bit more incentive. The Gods give us small perks for when we decide to flex our vocal chords and I'm of the belief that those of us who enjoy being out here and wish to see the streets flourish should find our own ways to encourage people to speak also.

Holy cow! Someone attempting to do something positive in this world of grime and crime? Yes Kevin, it's real indeed! Wait, why am I talking to myself? I should be talking to these guys! You bore me! 

Pop-up powerbombs himself (yes, I can do that!)

Therefore, from 00:00 tonight until the forseeable future, I will be running a rewards scheme for those who decide to grace us with their own presence, thoughts and ideas. I have absolutely no idea how much this is going to cost me so I may have to alter the rewards as we get further down the line but to start with, the rewards will be as follows...

Before continuing, a sentence is spewed out really fast, it sounded something like...

Please note that any auth/congratulations/here's my new family speeches will not be rewarded!

Welcome to the big bad world.

*A new speech will gain that person $100,000.

Someone wants to listen at least...

*When said speech gains 10 replies, the author/narrator will receive $250,000.

Hmmm, maybe this guy/girl has something important to say?

*When said speech gains 25 replies, the author/narrator will receive $500,000.

Holy shit! Why was this not brought up before?

*When said speech gains 50 replies, the author/narrator will receive $1,000,000.

OMFG YOU'RE A GENIUS GUY! Or insane...

*When said speech gains 100 replies, the author/narrator will receive $5,000,000.

So, there are the rewards! For those of you who are already active street speakers, this is a chance to gain some much needed funds. For those not so active, I hope this helps to encourage you to come visit.

Rules you ask? Eh... I don't have any set in stone rules. If any speech is just 1 line drivel in the replies, I'm not paying you a dime. There has to be SOME substance to it, but that's about it.

Well, I've laid out the plans for my show and I look forward to any and all serious contributions. That's all we have time for tonight though folks, so it's goodbye from the wooden crate...

Jumps on the crate to break it to pieces...

Goodbye to my harmonica...

Throws his harmonica at a small child just a few feet away, the child cries...

And goodbye from me...

BAI!

Disappears off into the night chugging down a bottle of Faygo on the way.

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She listens to the show and watches him run off into the night.  This was a great idea, she rather liked it.  Maybe it would encourage some more worthwhile street speeches, or even some new faces.  Although it might bring out some of those crazies too.  But why not give incentive to those who dare to brave the streets and share their opinions. 

She strolled down the street, thinking about some interesting topics to speak about.  She did love to speak, just didn't have the time.  Not to mention it was difficult to come up with a topic that hadn't been overdone.  And while she would gladly come to the streets without incentive, a little extra cash was always nice. 

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Camulus was amused at the theatrics that actually ended in an really cool idea.  He also realized that it had worked because here he was, about to introduce himself and and express a thought or two thay he previously had no intention of doing.  Realizing that this was his first public speech, and as such didnt even own a soap box yet, he looked around trying to improvise.  He then saw the perfect prop, it was an unmarked beer truck that he knew belonged to fellow businessman he knew.  Looking to his friend and silently asking permission, he climbed to the roof of the truck and cleared his throat.    Greetings to everyone,  My name is Camulus and some have probably seen me around, and maybe even frequented your establishment.  I am new to this thing of ours and that is partly why I never intended to speak so publicly.  I may not have been publicly vocal, but I have been paying close attention to a couple themes and something has occured to me.   I have heard several people express the idea that "I would sweat blood for my family members, but i dont have to be polite to anyone else from any other family, especialy if they are not same rank as me".  After expressing that belief, they then go on to downgrade others around them.  I may be new. but I also know that words and actions reflect to some extent on their whole family, so it is hypocritical to say we will protect our family, then turn around and damage their reputation. I fully recognize that not everyone acts like that, I for one have been treated well by mafioso from other familys and some outranked me..but when this happens it smacks of hypocrasy.     well I know this has hardly been the highpoint of anyones day, so Im going to turn soap box or beer truck over to someone else   thanks for your time in hearing me out.

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A crackling can be heard from someone with a radio trying to find a station to listen to. The crackling stops and a voice can be heard...

WMOB 69.69FM brings you the latest update from KevinOwens regarding his recent gameshow;

Howdy folks! 

Just thought I would update you on the progress being made by all our contestants so far. It seems like our dear friends over in Chicago are snapping up the extra cash on offer with much delight!

Aug 26, 06:53:21    You sent CH>KL a $100,000 tip. 
Aug 26, 06:53:43    You sent CH>-R-ichard-W-ad a $100,000 tip. 
Aug 26, 21:39:49    You sent CH>Dope a $100,000 tip.
Aug 26, 22:19:34    You sent LV>Jaysanity a $100,000 tip. 
Aug 27, 06:57:05    You sent CH>Scratchy a $100,000 tip. 
Aug 27, 07:43:58    You sent CH>Tom_Shelby a $100,000 tip.

A couple of those are due to hit the 250k mark sometime soon with a bit of luck on their part. Get yourself involved for this easy chance to win fabulous prizes!

Static again begins to interfere with the reception until the owner gives up and rolls the radio out of the window.

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She sits beside her radio her ears only met by the sound of white noise lulling her into a trance when her cat rubs up against her leg and startles her.

Oh morty! You bad kitty! What do you want?

She looks around and notices an empty food dish and half eaten plant.

Ahhhh, food. You want food. I swear if you make me miss anything I'll use you to dust the house with! I almost miss the days of old when music filled the air and WMOB was the source.

She gets up to feed her beloved morty leaving the static to encourage her plants to grow.

One day morty, one day there will be music on the Streets again. Hopefully. Until then you're my source of entertainment!

She looks fondly upon her cat and smiles as he runs into a corner at the sight of a spider.

You're just a big pussy morty!
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Just a quick one today folks.

To keep up to date with our rewards scheme, you can view it here from now on. As you can see, there has been plenty given away so far, so don't be afraid to get out and converse with your fellow mobsters.

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At 00:00 tonight, the reward scheme will be shutting down. All speeches matching the criteria made before this time will still be paid out in full.

As much of a pleasureable experience as it is seeing new faces out here trying their hand at speeches the financial side of it has become too much of a burden to carry.

Thanks to all who participated.

KO shuffles off down the street hoping to find an old lady down a deserted alley to steal from....

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