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From the Dicks tip (Battle for Dick) Started by: -R-ichard-W-ad on Aug 28, '15 03:56

Standing on the podium Dick looks around at the crowd who looked curious as to what this short but thick mushroom hat donning man had to say.

Hello my fellow citizens of this fine world. As of late I have been getting bet behind closed doors for my presence, "stupid sexual remarks" "stop promoting sexual activity some of us haven't had the chance to experience" "your such a dick" so on and so forth. Hey if that's how some feel then so be it. However tonight I'm not here to Attack those who dislike me, nor will I ever attempt to personally do so at the means in which they do myself. What's the point right?

To be honest I dust it off and use it for motivation. Take a negative, turn it to a positive, because if you focus on the negative then that's generally how it will continue to be. Why waste time on it. No tonight I approach you all with a favor, a favor from each and everyone of my fellow citizens. There is this asshole by the name of TylerDurden who feels safe behind his walls in Delaware. Maybe some of you have heard of him? Well after slandering my mothers name, and stroking Dick to the point of explosion from anger I have managed to lure him from his city. This issue is that he has recruited an army and has sworn to eliminate us all.

Fellow mafiosos, I need you help to bring this tyrant down, and for once Dick can be on top of this feud I have with him to declare who's the bigger...... Well man. So what do you think? Is everyone ready to fend off these gangsters who threaten our homes, our children, and our Dick?

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My body is ready, Mr. Wad. They may take our first experience with sexual activity, but they'll never take our freedom!

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Her eyes widen in befuddlement (That's such a cool word.)

Wait, back up there big boy. You've got me questioning what I heard. The Dick in my ear is saying something about promoting sexual deviancy and promiscuity and how wrong this is? Well I'll be fucked, that's just not right! I didn't realise we were a bunch of uptight little girls who couldn't handle a bit of Dick comedy. I blame your bloodline's absence from our Streets. You were gone too long. The world has been Dickless for so long that they've forgotten how much fun Dick can be.

That being said Dick, you really are a Dick, but I love that kind of Dick. If you were any other kind of Dick I'd walk past you and not even give you a second glance. You're a one of a kind Dick and that's what makes you special. You're the outside Dick every girl deserves.

Keep it stiff, your lip that is, and remember that there are people that love you Dick. Don't change who you are, unless it'll get you or your family cleaned with a pumpkin spice latte colonic.

I shall help you with the Durdens Dick! Never fear! Iris is always here for Dick!

She runs off to pick out which gun with best match her shoes and handbag for the evening.
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I am gonna blow, my wad, all over some drudens

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I'm not sure I can handle something so big. Maybe after a couple of drinks I can get on it.

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I'm gonna shoot, a load into, some durden scum...

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Replying to: From the Dicks tip (Battle for Dick)
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