The Liar takes a sip from his trusty hip flask to steel his nerves, he knows that he is about to discuss the private lives, the very private lives, of two of the most revered members of this secret society, and he's aware of the consequences should they hear of his indescretion. Having mentioned it in passing down the road he had been hounded by dozens of his adoring fans for more details of the salatious relationship between the Godfathers of Philly and New York.

First a little background. It is clear that Diemne is a timid man, afraid to speak in public, let alone raise his voice. Despite this, he has somehow fluked his way into becoming one of the most powerful men in these United States. I say fluked, as clearly talent, effort, ability and connections had nothing to do with it. It is not unusual, or so I am told, for men such as this to harbour some slightly bizarre urges, to say the least.

So when Scipita The Tyrant, as she has been dubbed, started getting to know him, it was only a matter of time before he fell under her spell. Using all her feminine wiles, she manipulated poor Diemne into confiding in her his darkest fantasies.

Upon hearing of Diemne's longing for someone to take complete control of him, if only for a little while, Scipita The Tyrant barely blinked before smiling and pulling out her trusty riding crop. "Well, I may just be able to help you there," she allegedly said.

And so it began. It started out as the occasional meeting in secluded hotels known for their privacy, Diemne would be subjected to ever more degrading levels of humiliation and control, while all the time Scipita The Tyrant established more and more control over him.

Today, Scipita The Tyrant will make Diemne dress in a full gimp suit, ball-gag and all, while he worships at his mistresses feet.

So now you know. The REAL reason NY and Philly haven't faced off in a war. The fact that they are strong cities, well led, and not staffed by retards has nothing to do with it. The idea that both are happy being the heads of their own city and not homicidal maniacs intent on global domination, is as wrong as it is irrelevant.

Diemne could not harm his mistress.

Scipita likes her pet gimp.

It is that simple.

I can't handle the truth. 

Ditto.

Not interested until there's a sex tape.

There are tons of sex tapes. However, Scipita is holding them all as leverage.

He's not on about your regular, vanilla human kind, Mux. He's on about the farmyard sort, all kinds of weird shit with pigs, goats and of course the bovine variety.

Shudders

Anything is better than the tape where Clause tries to be the meat between two buns. Really takes "Burger King" to another level.

shrugs and walks away

You have done a great service to all of us and I'm deeply grateful, The_Liar. I feel wiser after listening to you.

So the real truth finally comes out!

Thank you for enlightening us

Bows

A more likely story than Mr. WoodStein's story indeed..

This coul;dn't possibly be true, I went through all my fathers accounts andf neither the Godfather of NY or the Godmother of Philli ever set foot in his store, much less purchased Gimp Masks, Ball gags, or whips. I believe Don Bovine called in once or twice and he did invite Kates to come and model for him, but mnothing ever came off it.

I demand to see your proof of this, and want to know why the top sex shop in the 8 cities didn't supply the bondage gear if it is true.

Blagger quickly scans down the sales ledger again t make sure he didn't miss anything

Slams his head down on a fork.

I feel.... better.

I have to regularly provide vast amounts of rubber chickens.  when asked for purpose of purchase on the invoice, i'm told it's because 'she has to get on top of something'

true story.

The_Liar, I am a completely devoted fan of your speeches, but this time, I find myself insulted. I myself am a 'staff member' of Philly, as you so put it. Do you find me a retard? I fully expect a smart remark as to that question so I would please ask you not to answer it.

This does not, however, sway my high regard to your intelligence, I do, in fact, hold you in the highest respect.

<em>Curtly nods her head and briskly walks away.</em>

I myself am a 'staff member' of Philly, as you so put it. Do you find me a retard?

Considering that the man said...

The fact that they are strong cities, well led, and not staffed by retards has nothing to do with it.

.. I'd strongly suggest he wasn't trying to suggest that he finds you a retard. However, putting your foot in your mouth in public is always a good first step to changing how people might view you.

As for the matter at hand, I deny everything. Some of the facts are 100% true, but I fear the poor gentleman has somehow managed to mistake my own identity for that of Godmother Kates, the cheeky lil nympho that she is.