JamesKnowles was sitting in his battered leather chair at his rickety, scratched desk in the head office of the Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) Appreciation Society, recently approved in New Orleans. He was chewing the fat over how great Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) was with Zordon and he was one proud associate. Zordon had come 180 degrees in James' opinion and his devotion to Carlosanity was as impressive as it was necessary.

James looked at the framed portrait of Syn which permanently hung from the wall. Syn was smiling with an enormous stamp in one hand, with the other draped across JamesKnowles shoulders. His dedication to the New Orleans business district was legendary and he was a stalwart of the system, something which James respected implicitly.

James split a toothy grin. Zordon copied him, as was appropriate in the Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) Appreciation Society (R_CAS) HQ. It was a place of smiles and laughter. It was a happy place, a glorious place. It was a place where everyone always enjoyed themselves.

James stoped DEAD in his tracks.

"Zordon, I've had a great idea" He announced jumping up from his desk. He kissed the picture of Syn on the wall and Zordon followed, as was customary. He ran out into the Street, Zordon in tow. "LETS BRING THE FUN TO EVERYONE!!" James yelled into the street.

Zordon laughed and quickly went back in the R_CAS HQ and brought out the famous desk of Roberto, where it was said he had once eaten a pasta salad before a big tennis match. He then unfurled the famous tablecloth of Roberto from beneath his arm, which was rumoured to have covered Roberto's Robertos at the annual NORCo toga party.

"That's great Zordon!" James cried "Get everyone together, I'll get the bunting!"

Soon everyone in the whole world was at the party, enjoying it forever. Possibly longer. James started to mingle with the other delighted guests, each being smothered with the loving brace of Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere). James guessed it was the happiest day of any of their lives. He was right.

JamesKnowles brought out some cake for everyone.

Zordon watched as hundreds of citizens came to hear the great tale of how a plucky bunch took on the business district of New Orleans and rose up as one to demand a place to practice their Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) Appreciation.

He turned to James Knowles with whom he had become firm friends through their appreciation of the ‘’Carlos backhand.’’

‘What a glorious day James, I’m so happy that absolutely every one will be here to see this, and I believe you have badges to hand out to people which I’m certain EVERYONE will need?’

James was tucking into his second piece of cake when he saw Zordon turn towards him. The footwork he displayed was breathtaking in that turn, reminiscent of the great man himself on one of his many charges towards the net before a magnificent volley. James was suitably impressed as he listened to Zordon.

"Of course Zordon!" James smiled as he licked some icing off his finger "EVERYONE WHO WOULD LIKE/LEGALLY RQUIRE A BADGE SHOULD CONTACT ME AND THIS WILL BE ARRANGED" James yelled so that everyone heard him. He turned back to Zordon.

"Remember that serve Roberto did, which kicked nearly 120ft into the air?"

Zordon chuckled and shook his head at the thought of the ‘Serve to Space’ as it was affectionately called by everyone who had ever heard of it.

‘Of course I remember James it is one of the famous Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) TRUE facts that I have listed’

Zordon unfurled his long list of Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) TRUE facts and began proclaiming to the masses.

 ‘Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) TRUE fact #1: Roberto Carlos has always been a Consigliere, he came out of the womb ready and waiting with 40 units.’

MichaelLaMotta was strolling through the streets when he noticed a large mass of people chanting something. It sounded like "Robert oooo".

What the fu... is that cake?!

MichaelLaMotta was distracted by the free cake being offered. He thought "What the heck... If they're serving free cake I am definitely down."

Pass the cake this way!

Syn was walking by doing some business and noticed JamesKnowles sitting around his business. He walked over and began to speak but stopped abruptly as he noticed a picture of himself inside.

Hey man, I see the business is going well... Ummmm, why is there a picture of me hanging in your business? Not sure how you got that, I thought I asked that you hang the petition that I had framed for you. It was such a work of cunning devotion. However you maybe misunderstood and put a picture of me up. I guess it's flattering. It's not some voodoo or a shrine or anything creepy right?

He smiled, mimicing the picture that hung in the building. 

Well it was good seeing you my friend. Hope that petition gets up there on the wall.

Zordon motions for MichaelLaMotta to eat the cake with Roberto Carlos' (Consigliere) face on it and continues his proclamation, reading aloud proudly, annunciating each word.

‘Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) TRUE fact #2: The fedora of Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) holds the meaning of life. Roberto Carlos often laughs to himself that no-one else has figured it out yet and that people will kick themselves when they realise what it is.’

James stuffed more cake into his mouth than everyone thought possible. His mouth became cake. He and the cake were one, just like he was one with his sponsor, Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere).

"I could listen to facts about the great man all evening, Zordon, as you know, we spend most evenings sharing such tales after all!" James and Zordon laughed together. A hearty laugh of camaraderie that can only be achieved by appreciating Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) the appropriate amount. Which is as much as humanly possible.

Whilst the pair were enjoying their enviable laugh, Syn strolled up and James assumed he had been the R_CAS HQ and wondered why it was empty. He was asking James about the picture of himself which hung proudly from the wall of the R_CAS HQ.

"It's not some voodoo or a shrine or anything creepy right?" Syn asked with a smile.

"In his name" said James and Zordon in unison upon seeing Syn break into the holy smile of Robertology, known as "The Giving". They both immediately kissed Syn on the forehead, as was customary upon seeing The Giving. They pressed their lips against his skin, caressing him with their tongues, savouring the taste of the real thing after so many times of licking the glass on his picture. It was what Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) would have wanted.

"No man, nothing creepy." James grinned, 5 minutes after initiating the Kiss of The Giving. "More cake for Michael!" James clapped his hands at nobody. "Fact number 3 please Zordon!"

After completing the right of ‘the giving’ Zordan feels the spirit of Carlosanity flowing through him.

‘Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) TRUE fact #3: Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) Only has but to look at a jail and all guards and inmates drop anything they have and follow him which is why the jails are so empty most of the time.’

While at the local swimming pool, CASHMONEYMILLIONAIRE completed another amazing butterfly stroke of many laps across the great water hole. She hopped out of the pool and looked over at Roksana and Captious3 who were looking quite fabulous. The day was turning out well until Epsilon walked into the area complaining about the streets being boring. Immediately Captious3 turned on him and promptly told him there was a party going on with cake involved.

CAKE.

As soon as CASH said the word she regretted it. The last time she was involved with cake it didn't go so well. Not well at all. She looked over at Epsilon to see his reaction of the cake, he didn't have any reaction. He was soulless. CASH stared at him, if her eyes were also lasers she'd be burning holes into his face, lots of them.

"Do I even want to go to the streets and look at this?"

The fabulous duo of Roksana and Captious3 shook their heads eagerly. They encouraged him to go check it out, have some cake and get a Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) tramp stamp. Captious3 began to tell Epsilon that she didn't have any idea where to put hers so now it is in a very secret place. This wasn't convincing Epsilon of joining them at the party after the pool where they still resided. Actually, just hearing that the party was for Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) seemed to upset him.

"I'm not going."

He claimed. Yup, definitely upset him. Jealousy. Epsilon was green with Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) jealousness. There was only one way to get wash him of this hatred. CASH stood from where she had been sitting on the edge of the pool, she walked over to Epsilon who was becoming a bit less like CASH MONEY green and more sage green.

The symptoms of this Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) jealousy were really taking over Epsilon. Light green, dark green, Asparagus, Hooker's green, Moss green…it was a green strobe light of a man in front of her. If CASH didn't do something about this quickly soon Epsilon would be sitting in a closet with only a single candle hunched over writing his book Shades of Green. CASH tossed him in the pool.

Laughter exploded from the three fabulous women and then they all got out of the pool and headed to the party. To get cake. Epsilon was still in a horrible mood. Worse now that he looked like a wet cat and smelled like a wet dog. CASH thought that maybe they shouldn't show up with Epsilon. That would obviously drop them on the fabulous scale and Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) may like them less, or worse, cast them away and abandon them. What would Captious3 do without her Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere). She would no longer be able to give it to Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere).

CASH decided that she would not care about her friends feelings any longer. She had one direction now and it was too late to apologize. CAKE and a Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) badge. Maybe she'd just skip the CAKE as it was probably just a lie. The badge would be a good enough adventure.

They had all finally arrived at the party. Zordon was just finishing up a Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) true fact when someone started to scream. It was MichaelLaMotta. Who was eating the CAKE and screaming. CASH would be for sure staying away from the CAKE now.

*Epsilon was walking through the streets when he heard his name being mentioned, this was not an uncommon occurence but being a bit of a narcissist he could not help but check it out. The crowd was huddled around Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) proud sponsor of JamesKnowles; filling their faces with what seemed to be a cheap store bought cake, of the chocolate variety. Epsilon walked in amidst the masses waiting in vain for someone to greet him, all seemed completely besotted with Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) proud sponsorof JamesKnowles*

*Epsilon stopped to consider for a moment why this could be happening, he was standing there, and no one was paying attention to him, something was clearly wrong here... The only rational conclusion could be JamesKnowles was actually the cunning recruiter of a Cult whose only purpose was to dedicate their lives to the service of Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) - Proud sponsor of JamesKnowles*

*Epsilon continued to walk around examining everyones behaviour they seemed drunk on something, they had no doubt been drugged... CASHMONEYMILLIONAIRE was sitting in the corner rubbing her earlobes talking about how great Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) proud sponsor of JamesKnowles is... Captious3 was asleep on the floor holding onto Roberto_Carlos (Consigliere) proud sponsor of JamesKnowles legs mumbling something about "I'll never let you go"*

*Epsilon concluded that the situation was dire and someone clearly needed to intervene to stop this cult before things spiraled desperately out of control. Something drastic needed to be done. Epsilon was far too lazy to be the person to intervene, Epsilon paused for a final moment looking at the group shaking his head slowly from side to side... He opened his mouth and said*

Screw you guys, I am going home.

*Epsilon turned around slowly and faded into the darkness*

CASHMONEYMILIONAIRE woke up from her haze for just a moment. The moment was long enough to see Epsilon walking away from her. Her lips slipped into a frown and a single tear fell down her cheek.

Roberto shut the door on the Nissan micra taxi that had dropped him outside the NO branch of the R_CAS, affectionately known as the shit stain. Roberto was glistening with sweat and his odour could only be compared to an elderly male yak during mating season. He had been giving tennis lessons to the local orphanage. Those fuckers sure ran him ragged. 

As he approached the front door, he noticed something. Something he never thought would be possible. Could it be? How? When? Why were his y-fronts getting tighter? He was reading a sign. A sign that read "Roberto_Carlos Appreciation Society - OPEN FOR BUSINESS" His damp upper lip suddenly contacted his succulent bottom lip to form a smile. 

James, you old dog!

Roberto tried to find James but heard a commotion round the corner. There were people flocking to the corner like wilderbeasts charging across the Serengeti. "What is this?" He thought to himself. Roberto often thought to himself. He thought about James alot. His curves. His straw like hair. The way the Boyle on his back pulsated when he was excited. What a guy. 

Roberto turned the corner to find crowds as far as the eye could see. This was a street party. There was banners. There was people. There was CAKE. He noticed a deshelvelled man in the corner crying to himself. His puny frame accompanied with grey hair. It could only be Epsilon. 

Hi guy. How are you man, you seem sad?

There was no reply other than the odd grunt. The smell of Epsilon's nut sack was now making Roberto's eye sting so he made his way towards the crowd. He knew people here. Captious, CASHMONEYMILLIONAIRE, Mike, his childhood drunk friend Zordon, and James. JamesKnowles. The crowd all looked towards RC (as he was affectionately called by his few peers) and the questions began flowing. 

Guys, what is this?!

Zordon, stops talking in mid sentance and looks up as the greatest sponsor that ever lived approaches.

'Quick, everyone shower Roberto Carlos (Consigliere) in cress. It's a well known TRUE fact that he wishes for cress, he can never get enough free cress!'

Zordon runs to his stash that he had hidden away, and begins throwing the herb all over the great one. Proud that he had completed ''The cress drenching ceremony''

Luigi quietly takes place abit distanced from the others and watch the spectacle.

Gambit1 joins the festivities and gathers to celebrate the greatness that is Sir Mister Roberto_Carlos Sir the greatest man who ever lived!

Gambit1 want some CAKE?

CASHMONEYMILLIONAIRE had been handed a piece of CAKE, probably from that Zordon who was passing the CAKE out like it was an STD he needed to get rid of as soon as possible for his hot date that night. Which gave her even more reason to assume the CAKE was bad news.

Gambittttt

She said, pushing the piece of CAKE in his face.

Take the CAKE.

Gambit1 backs away scared of the clearly std infested cake......

Gambit1 nervously approaches his hero Sir Mister Roberto_Carlos Sir and asks for his autograph!