For Izzy so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten NPC, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting Durdens.

And the admins gave the following commands, to be passed down through the generations and ages of the sons and daughters of Mafia Returns;

-Thou shalt have no other God but Squishy. Maybe enkindle at a push, if Squishy is busy.

-Thou shalt have no other idol but Helpdesk. Helpdesk is a perfectly formed, solid mahogany affair. Bow down and worship it!

-Thou shalt not take the name of the admin almighty in vain. Oh my god is an acceptable alternative.

-Thou shalt remember too book Vday off work, and keep it sacred. Thou shalt remind thou's other half that Vday has nothing to do with romance, but EVERYTHING to do with mafia.

-Respect thy mother or thy father. When they die, do not take to the streets crying like a little girl.

-Thou must always kill. Ideally, thou must also leave a cracking whisper.

-Thou shalt remember that no matter how many times you touch Squishy's leg, he will not commit adultery with you.

-If thou should slip thine hands into mine pockets, thou should accept the risks and not cry like previously mentioned little girl when thou gets thine arse kicked.

-Thou shalt not fake coffee shop logs. I mean, c'mon. If thou wishes to shame a fellow mafiosai, at least mock up a picture of them being rejected by Squishy.

-Thou shalt not complain about what thou has not got or what thou has lost. Thou should rank up and do something about it.

 And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious Reprehension and they shall know that I am the GodFather, when I will lay my vengeance upon them with my gun.

In the beginning Mort created the .org and the streets, One night Izzy spoke to Technical in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on jail breaking, do not be silent - Game is going down for maintenance/backups. We will be back up in approximately 1 minute.

Squishy 24:7

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of 1%, I will fear no gun malfunction: for thou art with me; thy Reserved a Character Name for 3 credits and 200 credits of Bg's Mia's, and timer's thy have saved and bought on a fair price comfort me.

Squishy 69:69

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye not kill a player with the -4; as they may have a better chance at finding a family, and so they don't quit and tell their Friends not to visit us...

Squishy 18:7

Thy final payment for the meet house is due in 2 days, for thou are not able to fully financially secure the house. Thy 2013 Meet is being rescheduled to happen next year. thou refunds will be going out in approximately 1-2 weeks.  Thank tho all those who expressed interest in the meet, thy hope we can re do this next year.

For those still interested in a mini meet at around the same time, contact thy.

And without Ray DiDomenico it is impossible to please the warden, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Therefore, if anyone is in Bubba, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Crewleaders 1:56

And to know the love of Crewleaders, which passeth knowledge, that ye may learn to be the best mobster.

Earners 6:5

And unto the Earners, the Crewleaders declared tax free days, so that ye may tribute handsomely.

War 12:5

When they saw the last Bold fall, they rejoiced, for the war was over.

Rogues 1:1

For thou not a Crewleader that hath rogued; neither shall fakery dwell among the truly authed.

Mario 1:1-10 

"The Beginning"

[1]In the beginning there was nothing but the empty and endless void of the internet.

[2]But on the first day Mario said: "Let there be power!" and the Mafiareturns servers came on-line.

[3]On the second day Mario saw how empty it was and so He said: "Let there be Words!" and words and text flooded the servers.

[4]But on the third day Mario noticed how clumsy it was and so He said: "Let there be order!" and all the words were separated into readable text.

[5]By then it was the fourth day and Mario looked at His work and decided that even now, with Codes and Words, the Order was still too clumsy and user-unfriendly so He looked through the Codes and moved them into Links and Full pages of work.

[6]These links would all lead to just one page of work so that navigating the site would be easier.

[7]On the fifth day He realized that even with His almighty powers he couldn't handle everything by himself if the site was to be a success, so he created FullMetal, and called him First Admin.

[9] And the First Admin FullMetal supported Mario by doing His work in His place, giving Mario time to watch the Links as well as the code more closely.

 [10] On the sixth day Mario saw His work was almost done and he opened the servers so that everyone who knew about MafiaReturns would see the Game and witness His glory.

And the war shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former crews are passed away.

Train up a recruit in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Give taxes in all circumstances, for this is GodFathers will for you in Mafia Returns.

Genesis 1:1.

In the Begining, Squishy Created the Code. NOTE: This game is an original work. None of the code is from the original game.

Tho shalt not worship Bob, Bob is not a rogue.

Remember V-day, as ith the most holy of days

Tho shalt not bear false witness statements against thy neighbour

Tho shalt not steal from thy neighbour, tho shall instead steal the old ladies purse

Psalm 23:4

“Even though I walk through Delaware City, I will fear no evil, for Tyler is a pussy who cant kill anyone."

Tho shalt check the recent deaths before loggin in, just incase

Once one's self has made it to top row of 60 second list, they may call themselves a success.

The Gospel According to Cantona; Chapter 23. The death of the Messiah as told unto Cantona.

23:1  And lo, the multitudes of them arose, and did lead Joseph Zerilli unto enkindle, the provincial governer.

23:2  And all those there began to accuse Him saying of him 'We found this man perverting our thing and not giving praise to the Godfathers, and proclaiming he himself as the one true Godfather and Messiah

23:3  And enkindle asked Him 'Are you? Are you King of the Godfathers, the Messiah Returned?' And so He did answer enkindle 'Yes, it is as thou sayest.'

23:4  And then said enkindle to the High Rankers and those assembled 'I see no fault in this man'

23:5  And they were all the more fierce! Saying 'He stirreth up the people, throughout all of our thing; starting in Delaware and now ending here in this place!'

23:6  When enkindle heard of Delaware, sayeth he 'Is this man a Delawarian?'

23:7  And as soon as he knew Joseph was of Delaware and None's jurisdiction, he sent him to None himself who was in St. Louis at the time.

23:8  And when None saw Joseph Zerilli he was exceedingly glad, for he was desirous to see him of a long season, because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle wack done by him.

23:9  Then he questioned with him in many mobmails; but Zerilli answered him nothing.

23:10 And the High Rankers and speech makers stood by and vehemently accused Him

23:11 And None and his men of war set him at nought; and mocked him and arranged him in a gorgeous robe before He returned to enkindle

23:12 And at the same day None and enkindle were made friends together: for they had previously been at emnity

23:13 And enkindle, when he had called together the High Rankers, the rulers and the people

23:14 Said unto them 'Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people: and, behold, I, having examined him before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him: '

23:15 No, nor yet None: for I sent you to him; and, lo, nothing worthy of death is done unto him.

23:16 I will therefore chastise him, and release him

23:17 (For it was known he must release one of them unto the feast)

23:18 And cried the crowd out at once 'No! no! Away with this man! And release unto us Rogue'

23:19 (Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.)

23:20 enkindle therefore, willing to release JosephZerilli, spake again to them.

23:21 But they cried, saying, Wack him, wack him!

23:22 And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let him go.

23:23 And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be wacked. And the voices of them and of the high rankers prevailed.

23:24 And Pilate gave sentence that it should be as they required.

23:25 And he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison, whom they had desired; but he delivered Durden to their will.

23:26 And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Hymie Weiss, a Chicagoan, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear it after Joseph.

23:27 And there followed him a great company of people, and of pickpocketers, which also bewailed and lamented him.

23:28 But Joseph turning unto them said, 'Pickpocketers of Mafia, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children.

23:29 For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are those who attack every hour and yet never shoot

23:30 Then shall they begin to say to the prowackers, fail on us; and to the locas, Cover us.

23:31 For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?

23:32 And there were also two other, random wackers, led with him to be put to death.

23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called The Hitlist, there they wacked him, and the randomers, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.

23:34 Then said Joseph: Squishy, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his pinstripe suit, and rolled dice. 

23:35 And the people stood beholding. And the rulers  and high rankers also with them derided him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he be Joseph Zerilli, the chosen of Squishy.

23:36 And the made men also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him credits

23:37 And saying, If thou be the king of the Mafia, save thyself!

23:38 And a superscription also was written over him in letters of English, and Faux Italian, and 1337 that sayeth, THIS IS THE KING OF THE MAFIA.

23:39 And one of the random wackers which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be the Messiah, save thyself and us.

23:40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear  Squishy, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

23:41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

23:42 And he said unto Joseph Zerilli: Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. 

23:43 And Joseph said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

23:44 And it was about the 4th hour, and there was a darkness over all the Mafia world for 3 minutes

23:45 And the sun was darkened, and pages of the world were blank

23:46 And when Joseph had cried with a loud voice, he said: Squishy into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

Forgive the shitty English and grammar; I've naturally wanted to echo the fact that the bible is extremely poorly written. For our next competition, might I suggest a contest rewarding the best portrayal of the Prophet Mohammed in a profile picture?

returns 1:24: And Lo! squishy spoke unto the void, and thusly he spake: "let there be enkindle, that he may scribe into being the book of the code, and that as code be such as is falure, that the enkindle may createth in them a perfect code. but be it that no man may know of the perfect code. for as any man shalt know the perfect code, he shalt surely perish, and be cast unto the fires of the dishonerable discharge, where there wilt be weeping and gnashing of keyboards."

Tiggiviticus 18:22: Thou shall not speak in Cancer, as one would in Divinelunacy. It is an abomination.