A man with a funny walk after last evening with JohnnyBGoode aka "The Dirty Boy Next Door," approached the podium. Great what does this fucker want now?

"Yeah I brought Wiggle back. After my recent success in my public appearance with nothing but positive feedback (those Wiggle fans you know) it's only made me want to return for more love. After all, after a good love making, silence is expected followed by the highly anticipated cigarette. Anyhow I am here yes, hate me or love me I shall not shone myself into hiding due to opinions. I like cookies, and ain't shit can be done about it. It's an addiction, CA (Cookies Anonymous) has yet to be established or maybe that would be an option. So being I'm feining for some attention outside of my secret obsession with cookies I shall make an effort. This appearance is for my favorite Wiggle fans. The one's who say to stick it where the light don't shine. After all, the G-spot can be found in unexpected places, which is motivation for any attention whore."

Turning his back Wiggle discreetly takes a nibble of a cookie and continues. 

"So with the negativity I have received last week I decided to bring an inspiring message to the world. Be yourself regardless of who the hell says not too. Granted there are lines that cannot be crossed, hell I could have even flirted with them myself and if I had then I apologize out of the kindness of my cookie loving heart. However, it's not going to keep me from making public appearances. It's what I do, it's how I like my bread. Kneaded, battered and abused. I can take it, it's the repercussion I expect from being, well different. My concern isn't for my own well being emotionally, but for those who may be a little off such as myself."

"Whether you want to believe it or not I do what I do in hopes to pull more "odd characters" out of hiding. To show them there is no shame in making an appearance. Surely, we all enjoy the same appearances such as contests, issues that have been addressed so often it beats enough dead horses to even scare the toughest of cowboys. As you can see, whether you like it or not, speeches still go unnoticed or addressed on a daily basis. Those who push the borderline of crazy seem to well, appear a bit more interesting then others. It was something that was noticed as my grandfather once did, and it seems beneficial to this day."

"People will always try to discredit or degrade something they don't understand. History proves it, whether it comes to race, religion, sex preference or whether you like the occasional spanking now and again."

Pausing to think of something, he nibbles on the cookie a bit more and continues. 

"Now I can't blame anyone for their opinions or fear of the unknown. Hell I can't even sleep in darkness for fear that I'm going to be violated by a one legged homeless man. We all have our concerns, yet you will not find me attacking said approaches. Those who do, well they follow the same pattern time after time and fail to change direction, possibly opening their minds to change. They have the right to do just that. It doesn't make them bad people, they are just uninformed. Should this keep you from being you? Absolutely not. I encourage those who are maybe afraid to speak their minds, afraid to make an appearance for who they are to do so. It will always have negative feedback yes. However, the reward on the positive end makes it all worth it. You can view my appearance and the ass whooping I took with it as a negative. However, behind the scenes I promise you it's nothing to be afraid of. Even the hardest of criminals like a little strange from time to time. Whether they admit it or not."

"Without further Ado, I bring to you "Twisted And Socially Awkward Regime." Yes that's right. I'm the only member and I'm sure it will remain that way, but it's here."

How to Join:

* Approach TokyoZombi and ask for her number. When she goes to right it down, simply say "Nevermind I have had enough dead lays."

* Ask Absolute to have your babies. When he says yes, which he always does, celebrate with LSD. 

* Do something illegal, like asking jailbait for private pictures. 

* Tell Corky to put a Cork in it, then apologize by baking cookies.  

* Plant flowers with Cray. 

* Go swimming with Samus.

* Ask Sexecutioner for his "wild night" special. If you can walk the next day your in. 

"As shown, joining a club of this caliber is not an easy task. But, it's well worth it in the end result. That I can say from personal experience. Basically, don't shone people from making an appearance, try and get along. The streets are like a Box of Chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. Hmmmm, maybe I should patent that saying?" 

Mr/Misses WiggleButt, I don't know if you are well, different. I'm sure lots of people have wiggle butts. Are they a bad thing? That's probably just an opinion. But if you keep eating those cookies I'm sure they go straight past your "kind" "heart" and to your butt. Do not pass go or collect $100. 

I honestly didn't really listen to anything you just said, but I have gathered that your club (is it in a treehouse?) is an anti diet? If you want to be a wigglebutt these are the things you must do to be in the club? (No girls allowed treehouse club?). Is Mr. JohnnyBGoode aka "The Dirty Boy Next Door" in this club? Is he the one that butters your cookies for you? And by butters I do mean bake. Please answer my questions, I have more. 

(is it in a treehouse?)

"Yes because treehouse's kick ass."

 is an anti diet?

"No, I have high metabolism so the cookies aren't a threat."

 wigglebutt these are the things you must do to be in the club?

"Yes."

 (No girls allowed treehouse club?)

"Where would the fun in that be?"

 Is Mr. JohnnyBGoode aka "The Dirty Boy Next Door" in this club?

"No. he's not a fan of awkward unless we are role playing in the bedroom."

 Is he the one that butters your cookies for you?

"No, I butter my own biscuits." 

That's all disappointing. I hope you can answer my next questions better.

Nobody puts a Cork in Corky in the Corner. Do you agree with this statement? How do you feel about being mugged? Is it worse when people steal your money or your cookies? If it's not the cookies that make your butt wiggle, then what does?

Nobody puts a Cork in Corky in the Corner. Do you agree with this statement?

"Not unless she can Dirty Dance."

 How do you feel about being mugged?

"Depends, is there a reach around involved?"

 Is it worse when people steal your money or your cookies?

"Cookies of course, not only are they delicious, but I spent money on them delicious pastries. So it's pretty much both in one blow."

 If it's not the cookies that make your butt wiggle, then what does?

"Anything that excites me." 

Tokyo grabbed a pigeon out of the air and took a munch on it's neck. 

Want some?

She didn't wait for him to answer, she took another bite.

So what you're saying is Cory is a dirty dance? Are her and JohnnyBGoode related? Have you checked out that Remy guy, he'll find any street corner to recite love letters he's written to himself pretending they are written from others, but honestly, do you take that guy seriously?

Another bite.

I hope you know you are missing out on this lovely bird. I don't know why you waste your time with cookies. 

So what you're saying is Corky is a dirty dance?

"Ummm, sure?"

 Are her and JohnnyBGoode related?

"Not to my knowledge, no."

Have you checked out that Remy guy, he'll find any street corner to recite love letters he's written to himself pretending they are written from others, but honestly, do you take that guy seriously? 

"Sure I do, love comes from the heart. Even if it means odd poems. Plus he's wonderful in the bed." 

Samus walks by seeing a crow gathering she slowly makes her way through the crowd and she see's her name on this list of the Twisted  And socially Awkard and shouts out...

* Go swimming with Samus.

She takes a flask out and starts to drink......... 

Samus, you'll have to drink a lot more than that if you're going to make it through this night. 

Tokyo gives her a wink. 

"Hey now, nothing wrong with a little Wiggle in your life. Even in the the swimming pool. it makes waves and that shit's fun."

Tokyo looks at WiggleButt.

Not so fast...butt. You've still got some questions to answer. 

She sits on a pile of newspapers and gets to asking.

Were you saying something about the streets not being a good place for you? Or was it you not being a good place for the streets? Is speaking in the streets not good for your health? If you've got something to say and worried about those who are would rather abuse you than love you Lulu will take what you'd like to say and say it for you. Do you think you'll be approaching her for her services? 

Were you saying something about the streets not being a good place for you?

"No not at all. I love the streets, here you can find pimps, hoes, cookie makers, and all sort of interesting characters. You just have to have a keen eye and you can spot out some very interesting things."

 Or was it you not being a good place for the streets?

"Some may say that yeah."

 Is speaking in the streets not good for your health?

"Sure it is. It works out the lungs."

 If you've got something to say and worried about those who are would rather abuse you than love you Lulu will take what you'd like to say and say it for you. Do you think you'll be approaching her for her services? 

"I don't do the approaching. If anyone wants to offer me services they can drop me a line."

After answering the recent set of questions, Wiggle looks confused.

"When the hell did this turn into an interview? Do you work for the papers?" 

"I Love you wiggle!"

Fydora twirls with a wiggle in her steps, like a fan girl with a coke habit before continuing,

"Sometimes people say things and people don't like it. It happens. Not everyone can be friends with everyone or life wouldn't be very interesting. But, to say you're not loved would be a lie and I really do hope to see your wiggle for a long while. Keep rocking on with your shaking self"

Fydora tips her fedora to the Wigglebutt and walks off into the night.

​Hands Fydora a Handkerchief in case she gets nauseous after twirling in circles

"Well thank you Mam'. It's highly appreciated. I love you too, and your baked goods!"

Ahh....no comment.

Tokyo gets up from her chair of papers and walks around WiggleButt, keeping her distance so the man/woman can't touch her. 

A wigglebutt fan has joined us! Did you realize you had fans? To me it seemed you had more enemies than fans. Does this surprise you? Speaking of fans, is it hot in here or is just me?

She laughed to herself, at herself, it was all good and fun. For her. WiggleButt didn't look like he/she was having fun. Maybe it were the people passing by. Checking out their conversation. Tokyo saw a few faces in the crowd she knew, didn't like and occasionally saw but didn't know personally.

Who's got you festering over there old chap? 

Did you realize you had fans?

"No not until you sent me a message about the arrangement you wanted to set up this evening. I'm all for it but you must be warned, Sexecutioner watches through peep holes."

 To me it seemed you had more enemies than fans. Does this surprise you? 

"As much as your request. Which wasn't very surprising at all. I knew you had an eye out for me."

 Speaking of fans, is it hot in here or is just me?

"I don't know but it will be this evening."

 Who's got you festering over there old chap? 

"No one is, it's just the anticipation for this evening." 

Tokyo clenched her teeth. She would not bit the person touching her. She would not bite the person touching her. He won't even taste good. Wasn't worth it. She would resist. Tokyo brushed off her shoulder and WiggleButt's hand that had rested on it. 

If you'd like to keep that hand you'll keep it to yourself. 

She smiled gingerly at him.

Speaking of hands, we've already discussed mugging. Well, I guess, discussed it as much as a WiggleButt can discuss anything. How about pick pocketing in general? Do you feel like it's a violation of your personal space? Oh who am I kidding, you look like a person who throws themselves at anyone. Though, I'll allow you to answer the question anyway. 

Also, I'd like to here your opinion on the new trend of criminal crews picking up fresh faces. Do you like that just off the boat kids now have to do "jobs" to earn their way into our world?

How about pick pocketing in general? Do you feel like it's a violation of your personal space?

"Not at all. Hands in the pockets are always a pleasant event. Some make take it as a personal attack of privacy or maybe a violate of their personal space but I do not. I just ask for a little heads up is all so I know who's hands they are." 

Also, I'd like to hear your opinion on the new trend of criminal crews picking up fresh faces. Do you like that just off the boat kids now have to do "jobs" to earn their way into our world?

"Absolutely. I am a firm believer in making a name for yourself, what better ways to do that then to get your hands dirty and showing yourself off for the Families? Not so much in a literal sense, because that will just get you thrown in jail. Don't want the rep of a streaker, or else you'd be like Remy."

Make take.

Tokyo half rolls her eyes. Really, she was trying to help WiggleButt out here. His speech was, well, not that good. Was there anything to honestly take from it? Maybe. Maybe a Make Take from it, whatever the hell that was suppose to be. She had thrown him at least eight bones and felt like there was progress, now only if he'd stop munching down on cookies. 

Next up. What is your gender?

And also, I've heard talks in the coffee shops about there being too many crews. This has always been a thing. Too many crews, too many bold suits, too many slanty lined suits. Fashion these days, anyway, we've got generations returning and new faces, but are there too many options for them? 

we've got generations returning and new faces, but are there too many options for them? 

"Options in surplus is not a bad thing. It can be rewarding to some. Take this for example, you had many options in the streets but you chose this speech. Also, there is nothing wrong with a good boning from time to time. So thank you for that."

 What is your gender?

"Whatever you want it to be."