As expected, Achilles does something dramatic to grab the crowds attention. Immediately people begin to gather around waiting to hear what he has to say.

So, recently Refresher came out here and made an interesting proposal. I noticed that it was quite a lucrative bit of business and would work well if these geniuses didn't decide to renew the hit 3 times a day. Silly Sally's. Still, despite this being a place where you'd expect people to have a tougher skin, there are mobsters (I use this term loosely, like Heel's mum) still shedding tears into their morning cereal over what I said a couple weeks ago. Due to this the hit on my beautiful head remains there, a nice round figure (also like Heel's mum) of $200,000,000. Were it not for the current powers that be, I have no doubt that I'd be as dead as Kukunt and the rest of his family and for this I thank them. But I won't stand here and pretend that the sole reason for my living is down to me being so lovable. I understand I'm a real hoot, I mean all the guys in my HQ say so (if they didn't I'd probably shoot them), but I'm aware there is a bigger picture here. It would seem that despite all our Godly creator has done for us within this thing of ours, it would appear that the friction between the mob of CEO's currently running things and our Squishy of Squishington manner has increased. Strange decisions are being made with no real explanation and it would appear the desperation to have me pew'd is becoming stronger by the day. If only he got to know me a little better, I feel we could be great friends, I'd even let him in my crew (providing he tributed of course). I'd have to knock back a few people since the demand to join is super duper high, but I'd give him a spot, no fucken problem.

Anyways, back to the hit. So it's been over 2 weeks now and I'm still alive, again thanks to the powers that be. Some of these people have helped me out a great deal, more than I could have ever expected or asked for. I'm aware that there have been others who have been quite concerned about the hit that has been placed on me and so I had a thought late last night (yes I have those from time to time). It would seem on one side we have Squishy and his supporters lurking behind this anonymous tag, they will continue to renew the hit but lack the balls to actually carry out the task sadly. On the other side we have a few faces unhappy with the way things have been handled by Squishington and although the current set of Godfathers have allowed me to keep going in life, there are others who have fought my corner and have shown me that we share a common opinion in that the Gods should not interfere with the politics of this place.

I could never in 400,000,000 years imagine to raise this money (you see what I did there?) to wipe the hit but after thinking about Squishy and his own supporters I thought what if those who disagree with the Gods came together to make their own statement? What if we could get rid of this hit?

So what do I propose? Well it's quite simple really. To anyone willing to donate any amount towards getting this hit off my head, they will get 30 minutes with Heel's mother. Now there can be extra's included, which can be a little pricey tbh but they are well worth it. Adding to this we run a discreet business here that guarantees complete satisfaction (she's decent tbf) and anonymity.

So don't wait around, donate to this great cause and spend 30 minutes with the woman of your dreams.

Extra's included subject to terms and conditions.

Aware of his friend's situation Curtis heard his voice in the streets and walked over to listen. Chuckling sympathetically at the exhaustion of Heel's poor mother and her increasingly tarnished reputation, he listened to the rest of the speech and stepped over to a phone booth. After a short call he walked across to Achilles and clapped him on the back.

"My friend, I agree this has gone on quite long enough. And, as with the over use and abuse of Heel's mum's virtue, it needs to come to an end. Poor woman has had enough challenges to overcome in her life, let alone enduring raising that lad. Anyway, I digress, here's a note from my accountant. When you get back to your office make sure to give him a call and confirm the funds have been moved into your account."

Your accountant makes note that $5,000,000 has been wired to Achilles from your account.

The note "Buy off that ridiculous hit." was included.

That moment when someone reinforces why they find themselves in a predicament.

so this is what it has come to? someone being hitlisted for not apologising to someone and they decide to beg for people to basically buy off their hit for them? if enough people cared about you achilles you wouldnt have to come to the streets shaking a tin can looking for "donations" or "handouts".

your above apologizing but not above begging, i guess the hit nailed you spot on. ill tell you this, i have 110m ill donate to your cause if you can sell me on why i should "donate" to someone who doesnt act like a crewleader who cares about their members and district's lives and acts before speaking

Credit Balance: 219.36

oh okay so he came to the streets to mock the hit that has been put on him? thats a smart move (notice my saying is tongue-in-cheek)

the amount of support hes getting is ridiculous i guess they think of a 200m hit on his head as good publicity...or they dont wanna waster their cash on his lazy ass

he understands the hierarchial structure? hmmmm...okay so that being said he doesnt think to think before he acts as it could possibly make his Godfather look bad. so now not only does it look like he doesnt care about making his godfather look bad he makes it look like his godfather has promoted a sarcastic mocking moron to the streets who basically taunts people about the hit on his head

arrogance breeds ignorance i suppose, and if they really true support him i dare them to post their transfer logs in the streets and show their support, cause in my book supporting in ther shadows means their scared to show support for their crew leader which means they basically agree with the hit

here lets spice things up a bit shall we ?

anyone who reads this now has a chance to have a part of the 110m offer i made to donate to help get the hit off his head since his RHM mocked me im willing to offer a cash incentive.

if you can bring Bodyguards: Insanely Well Protected down to its lowest tier i will divide the 110m to those who send in WS screen shots

all responses will be kept in secret so i encourage anyone even his GF to take part in a venture where you can anonymously earn a part in 110m to bring a cocky captain to his knee's

• Slightly Protected: 1 - 10 BGs
• Protected: 11 - 25 BGs
• Well Protected: 26 - 50 BGs
• Very Well Protected: 51 - 75 BGs
• Extremely Well Protected: 76 - 100 BGs
• Obscenely Well Protected: 101 - 135 BGs
• Insanely Well Protected: 136+ BGs

 see what im doing here? im making the reply by achille's heel the reason you should take out his bodyguards, cause we all know achilles weakspot is his heel

800k per dead bg up for grabs

enjoy :D

if you send the WS from the hit ill keep posting a new hit on his bg's until hes unprotected

to show im serious:

If only Achilles was as unpopular with the people who actually matter as he is with the rich Thugs of the world, he might actually be in danger. 

just remember achilles the enemy you know is better than the enemy you dont. and with only 51 kills needed to have a max stealth BG gun ill let the public take out your bg's before i quit waiting and do it myself :)

Yes Yamcha, 51 kills needed to max a stealth gun, he is a Don CL.. So make that 150 kills roughly over max..

150 kills for 800k?

I don't think the public will kill his bodyguards, nor will you.

challenge accepted

The great bloodline of Assassin everyone.

He will most certainly show me up and kill Achilles! ..Or whatever he threatened to do.

I didn't bother to listen to the words of a challenged thug.

*Tetley wanders out in to streets and hears a civilian talking paying to have a Don's bodyguards killed*

"Hmmm, seems like the pissants are pissed off."

*A gunshot echoes through the streets*

"I guess he wasn't man enough to face the consequences of threatening a Don, what a peasant."

I could of used that 800k though. He says with a sigh

I'll send you 100mil in a few days no problemo lad! But what's to stop our dear friends from just making up another 200mil from nowhere to replace said hit. It's like my eating habits I am unhappy because I eat and I eat because I'm unhappy. It's a viscous circle!

He slumps off to find a wall to hit his head on repeatedly to pass the time.

Spraker heard a loud noise and immediately saw a crowd near a dead body of a young man in the corner of the street.

Oh well it's not the first time I saw a dead body but this man made a very poor decision to end his own life.

Spraker walks away to continue his job.

If I didnt agree with the God's before, I certainly do after this little charade. Nothing but continued mockery from this guy.

Heel watched as BoootyPatrol expressed his feelings over Achilles' 'little charade'. He was deeply saddened to discover BoootyPatrol's stance as he knew Achilles had spent many a night in HQ dreaming of doing a ride along on one of his infamous patrols. It didn't seem like it would happen now. 

With a sigh Heel drew out his notebook and flicked through the many important pages of tasks he had been assigned...hitlist watcher, no....rota for sticking it to the little guy, no...ah here we are:

Achilles' Christmas Card List

• Heel
• Authed
• Whatersname (x2)
• Everyone Made Man+
• BoootyPatrol
• Other lowly ranked pissants
• Yamcha's Widow 
• The-Mountain (from Dad)

 Heel reluctantly drew a line through BoootyPatrol's name. Looks like there wouldn't be much holiday cheer going out from The Myrmidons HQ this year.