*From the entry of the church a black casket that holds the recently deceased can be seen. And though it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dim light, you see a woman in a black veil place a white rose on the casket. You watch as she wipes a tear from her eye. She lights a candle in remembrance of the deceased and walks down the aisle wiping the tears that are now cascading down her cheeks.

The only light inside the church is from the flickering candles on the altar. The candlelight casts an eerie glow across the priest's face. He hangs his head as he starts to read...*

"Friends, we are gathered here today to pay our final respects to our friend, Calpain. May they rest in peace. Those wishing to pay their respects may do so at this time."

RIP! you horny bastard 😭

RIP Calpain. I'm not crying, I'm just cutting onions at your funeral for some strange reason. Hell of a run.

P..S. A little birdie told me the microwaves in heaven have buttons.

Rest in Peace my son! <3

RIP Calpain. Very sad to see you here...

Hope your kin reaches out.

Rest in peace, my favorite ex-Chinese woman friend. I'll see you in scammer heaven.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Falls to the floor in front of the casket, being extra dramatic. 

You were supposed to live forever.....

Rest in peace. 🫶🏻

Rest in peace Calpain. sorry to see you here but glad the kink is over now.