Location: The Continental United States
Date: The Roaring Twenties

Prohibition in the United States! The Noble experiment.

Under substantial pressure from the temperance movement and various shady religious organizations lead by Father Pat McGroin, the United States Senate proposed the Eighteenth Amendment. Having been approved by 36 states, the 18th Amendment was ratified on January 16, 1919 and effected on January 16, 1920. Some state legislatures had already enacted statewide prohibition prior to the ratification of the 18th Amendment.

The "Volstead Act", the popular name for the National Prohibition Act, passed through Congress over President Woodrow Wilson's veto on October 28, 1919 and established the legal definition of Lint as 'fine ravellings of cotton or linen fibers'. Though the Volstead Act prohibited the sale, manufacture and transportation of Lint, it did little to enforce the law. By 1925, in New York City alone, there were anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 Lint smugglers transporting Lint around the city and the larger tri-state area.

Upon becoming president in 1929 President Herbert Hoover charged Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon with bringing down The Lint Smugglers. The Federal Government approached the problem by attacking Lint organizations on two fronts. The first front was mounted by criminal investigators of the Treasury's Bureau of Internal Revenue, who would examine the financial records of any one suspected of Lint smuggling and their subordinates to see if they could be prosecuted for tax evasion. This unit of IRS agents was headed by Frank J. Wilson under the close supervision of Elmer Irey.

The second front would consist of a special unit of the Bureau of Prohibition, then a branch of the Department of Justice, who would attack the Lint Smugler's empires by raiding bellybuttons, the parts of shoes that contain your toes, and, particularly, pockets. Former 'Agency' man, Robert McCall' was chosen to head this elite squad.

Raids against bellybuttons and pockets began immediately, and within six months McCall claimed to have seized Lint and related profits worth over one million dollars. Simply reaching into suspects pockets was the main tactic for the raids. Never before has the term 'The long arm of the Law' refered to an agent's ability to search a man's pockets.

Because corruption is endemic amongst law enforcement officials, McCall was forced to go through extensive searches in order to locate men that could form a reliable team. This legendary team of law enforcement individuals is nicknamed 'The Unlintables' on account of the cleanliness of their pockets, bellybuttons and interior receases of their shoes.

The New York Times recently caught up with McCall and managed to get this small interview:

NYT: Mr. McCall, how do you respond to the charges that petty crime such as Lint Smuggling is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?

McCall: People can come up with statistics to prove anything, Sir.
Forfty percent of all people know that.

NYT: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group
has been picking pockets more than it's been preventing crime?

McCall: [amused] Oh, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't
committing crimes.

It appears that you have few rights should the Bureau of Prohibition decide to search you.

1) You can carry a special 'disclaimer' from the Supreme Court declaring that you are beyond reproach and your pockets are not to be searched.
2) You have the right to a reciept for the search, although for security reasons the searcher's name may be withheld.
3) You have the right, if your defenses are strong enough, to fine the searcher in lieu of beating him up.

Apparently this is all the guarentees you have following the 18th Ammendment to the constitution. Lint Smugglers of America beware, your pockets might be next!

BazookaTooth reaches into his pocket making sure his precious lint is still there

So you are the ones who have been digging through my pockets all of these years. You'd think after all of that groping at least one of you would have the decency to buy me dinner...I'm starting to feel a little used.

I think I should get my hands on one of those disclaimers, but I've never been one for government protections.

BazookaTooth fondles his lint lovingly making all around him just slightly uncomfortable

McCall laughs and pulls out his notepad, flipping through the notes he produces a reciept he acquired last month.

Jun 24, '10 08:36 You PICKPOCKETED! BazookaTooth but walked away with nothing.

Quickly he strokes out PICKPOCKETED! and replaces it with SEARCHED!

Well Bazookatooth, you may want people to think you are a bigshot Lint smuggler, but this here proves that you are just another member of Joe Public. Quite clearly your pockets were empty at the time my agents searched you, there was no trace that you had ever smuggled Lint.

Hmm, I do remember that search, it was quite gentle. I never claimed to be a big-shot lint smuggler. No, I'm just a small time lint enthusiast...a man who enjoys lint to the point that his neighbors stare at him and whisper when he walks by.

BazookaTooth picks up his briefcase and begins to make his way to the office

Hal sets up on the streetcorner, just in sight of Bazooka and McCall, unfolds his table and chair, then sits down.

This is for you two. 

He puts his foot on the table, takes off his shoe and sock and placed his foot back on the table.

All that lint between the toes.  All yours.  Have at it. 

McCall goes to take a step towards Hal but notices small rodents nearby choking and passing out. thinking better off it, he steps back.

That's ok Hal, your mixture of toe-jam and what you euphemistically call Lint is not covered under the Volstead act. That is neither Coton or Linen, and is obviously a man made fibre, possibly Rayon or Acetate. So feel free to keep your synthetic Lint.