EMERGENCY INSTALLMENT OF THE LIFE AND TIMES OF FEARLESSJ

FearlessJ pulls up his pants, as he has just gotten off the porcelain thrown, taking the dump of his life. 

FearlessJ peaks around the corner, only to see the masses have already began arriving for his second installment of the award winning "The Life and Times of FearlessJ"

FearlessJ is clearly dressed much nicer this time around, as the money hes garnered from his fame has already taken full effect. 

FearlessJ has an urgent look on his face, one of seriousness, you can see the steam rising from his skin.  

FearlessJ begins his speech. 

Today, I come to you under very peculiar circumstances.  Yesterday, life was lost, and I am here to offer you a look from my own perspective. 

04:47 a.m.:  FearlessJ was finally winding down from a long drunken night at the strip bar.  I had gotten laid for the first time in hours, as I was slumping.  I took off my rolex, and versace everything and gator boots also.

04:49 a.m.: I received a phone call, i picked up the phone, and the voice was that of LarryLongNeck.  He indicated that I call him back on a pay phone.  I was a bit pissed off, because I had just taken off all my shit, and he was not requesting that I get dressed.  I decided it wasn't very urgent, and went to sleep for a few hours.

08:34 a.m.:  Ah, I had woken up from my deep sleep.  I woke up with my typical morning wood, as its always that way.  I am full of testosterone, and have been contemplating getting medicated for my overabundance of this.  Well I decide against it every fucking time, because I love the feeling of aggressiveness.  Anyway, I took a shower at this time, because I still reeked of women from the long night :).

10:46 a.m.:  Ah, I just got out of the shower, and my muscles are glistening in the wetness and shine of the lights.  I had a surprise occurrence in the shower, and decided to give pleasure to the ANACONDA.  I got dressed at this time, so I could go see what LarryLongNeck was bitching about?

11:54 a.m.: I made my way to a pay phone at this time, I am a little later than anticipated because I had to eat breakfast at the local diner.  I had a 7 egg omelette, 12 strips of bacon and a cup of coffee.  For desert I had a protein shake to satisfy my muscularity.  Ah, the phone call.  I called LarryLongNeck and he indicated that I make my way over to the HQ, he seemed aggravated for whatever reason, but its hard to read him because he always seems agitated and hungry.  Obese little shit.  I assured him I was on my way. 

01:21 p.m.:  I decided to take a slight detour, as a club I was familiar with had just opened the doors.  It doesnt hurt that one of my favorite dancers was present.  I didnt stay long, because I knew the boss would get angry with me AGAIN.  So i stayed about 3 hours or so and then made my way over to the HQ to see what all the whining was about.

04:12 p.m.:  I arrived at the HQ at this time, it was a little early I must admit, as usually I arrive much later.  With the urgency in Larry's voice, I decided to arrive earlier.  When I arrived, I first person I saw was Nikki_Swango, she looked at me and rolled her eyes.  Then I saw TheBestNameEver, he too rolled his eyes.  Nobody had spoken a word to me.

04:23 p.m.:  Finally, at this point someone addressing me, they all seemed so bitchy and agitated like a bunch of drama fucks.  NickyMouth asked me if I could help him fix his bicycle.  I said well, of course?

04:35 p.m.: Well, at this point I had just wrapped up fixing NickyMouth's bicycle.  Apparently on his way to the HQ this morning, he popped a tire trying to do a jump.  Needless to say NickyMouth is a fat little shit. 

04:53 p.m.: LarryLongNeck makes his presence known, and enters the HQ and into the bar area.  He gazes on me.  He walked in with TheMadHatter who ran up to me and hugged the shit out of me.  I shrugged her off, she persisted so I punched her god damn face.  TheMadHatter is hopelessly in love with me, but I was not having that shit.  I was too irritated with the gaze of LarryLongNeck.

05:18 p.m.: I walk over to LarryLongNeck after a few drinks.  I asked the boss what was so urgent, and if i could do anything?  He rolled his eyes in dissatisfaction, which really disappointed me.  I lunged at him, but his emaciated bodyguards jumped me (only because they had numbers). 

06:24 p.m.:  I walked into the restroom to get cleaned up.  I had a few pints of blood from the fighting of his BGs, but as always I came out on top.  NickyMouth appeared in there, which somewhat startled me, but he was only cleaning toilets.  Coral was helping him, scraping shit from toilet bowl. 

06:49 p.m.:  LarryLongNeck summons me to his shitty little office space, and I am given a stern talking to.  He asks me where the FUCK i had been this whole day, and why I didnt come straight to the HQ.  I had no real explanation.  I just nodded in agreement to get his ass off my back.

07:37 p.m.:  After the stern talking to at this time, I asked the boss if there was anything I could do?  He told me to go fuck myself.

08:45 p.m.: I was a bit disappointed with the way LarryLongNeck talked to one of his Capo's.  I really still couldnt understand why he was so angry.  I mean angry for what?  Arrogant shit.  Anyway, at this point I started drinking the night away.

09:47 p.m.: I wondered back into the bosses office at this time, he still had a shit mug look on his face as I i did something wrong.  I didnt understand, and at this point I talked to him again.  I asked him what the fuck was so urgent, and why was he so FUCKING pissed?  Larry was not happy with me, I could see it in his shriveled up old prune face.  He said, we had a few guys go rogue you dumb little shit.  I said DUMB LITTLE SHIT?  the Bodyguards stepped out in front of him, so I wouldnt squash his ass like a ant :S.  How was I supposed to fucking know?  Where the FUCK are these FUCKS, I will deal with them.  I am crews enforcer, which should not come as a surprise.  I not a great shot, but I have these deadly hands.  I SAID GIVE ME A LOCATION YOU LITTLE SHIT AND I WILL DEAL WITH THEM.  YOU GUYS CAN NOT DO FUCK ALL WITHOUT ME.  

09:51 p.m.: After I had said my piece, Larry gazed on me with hate.  I hate that fucking gaze, I want to smash his fucking face i said to myself (or in my head i guess?).  Larry says, the rogue is already dead you dumb fat shit.  Everything has been handled you no good son of a bitch.  I released a big sigh, and asked if everyone was okay.  He stated everyone had made it out, a part of me wanted Romance to die, but that sly little fuck made it. 

10:10 p.m.: I entered the bar area of the HQ, where celebration had already began without me, I nodded my head at ††TheBibel and he said absolutely nothing like always. 

10:34 p.m.: I had a few shots in me, so I began to have a little bit of swagger again.  I walk over to lonestar and kick him square in the balls.  He apologizes to me. 

10:58 p.m.: ††xMakavelliSw1tchCruz enters the room, obviously drunken and throws a bar stool across the HQ like a man possessed.  I ask him what is wrong, to see if I could be of assistance, he indicated he had been hitlisted for no apparent reason.  Ah, I notice I had a hit on my head as well.  We both did not give a fuck, and we drank to it.   

11:01 p.m.: Larry wanders into the bar area, and looks like shit, more than usual.  He looks exhausted, as he is just being dramatic IMO.  I get him a drink, he states he just wants a glass of water, to which i laugh and walk the fuck off. 

11:22 p.m.: Menace walks into the bar HQ, and orders a Shirley temple.  I laugh at him and offer to fight him for the fuck of it.  He declines smartly. 

11:37 p.m.: LucaGiordano graces us with his presence, looking exhausted from a day in writing novels.  I buy the son of a bitch a drink.

11:48 p.m.:  It is damn near midnight at this point, and I feel exhausted.  TheMadHatter has been very persistent in trying to get me to go back to her slum shithole apartment.  Last time I went it was a damn mess, rat shit everywhere.  I denied her yet again.

11:59 p.m.: The day is done, tacocat was the lucky enough to go home with me tonight.  I was exhausted and ready to be serviced.  TheMadHatter has left 12 voice messages on my answering service, none of which will be acknowledged :S. 

Ah, there you have it folks, a day in the life of FearlessJ.  For those of you hoping to one day reach the rank of Capo, please keep in mind my day in hell.  Without my hard work and efforts though, my family would have been eliminated.  

It is because of me, that my family breathes to live another day.  With rank comes great responsibility.  Keep that in mind, before your big promotion, do you really want to go through all this shit?  

Well, as always I hope you enjoyed.  My life of stress and turmoil.  I have dedicated my life to this thing of ours, and the above shows that when called upon I will FUCKING embrace responsibility.  When bloodshed arises, I will be the first to mop blood with my COCK. 

Indeed.  Until next time.

FearlessJ tips his hat

P.S. Part 1 of 69 was such a brilliant success, that I expedited this SPECIAL EDITION!!!! Just for you, the people. 

Donations: b482e8e1d6b10b94752d98bf03e6ae55

TheMadHatter didn't know who was more mad. Her or fearlessj for ever thinking she would ever touch him let alone acknowledge his presence. So delusional

Insulting your own crew members FearlessJ is not gonna win you any lollipops. Please behave yourself or we will need to talk. By talk it'll be the usual dumping head in fucking toilet and making ur tongue taste a feces blend of 25 crewm8s. Behave stupid boy.

Bows

I'm a 'worthless piece of shit rogue' who likes to mock others and point out the flaws in their stupid logic.

But even I think this is pretty messed up. I don't know what your aim was with this, whether it to be humorous or serious but you have failed remarkably.

If I get the chance the next time we're plotting and scheming, i'll make sure to do you and everyone else here a favor and include your name on our list.

FearlessJ when insulting someone why don't you consider not mocking their physical appearance? I'm sure many would agree with me when I say that comments such as that are in very, very poor taste.

Bows 

Insidious despite fearlessj being an ass at times he is still family and threatening family will get you shot repeatedly. Please be careful how you speak to them. 

FearlessJ when insulting someone why don't you consider not mocking their physical appearance?

-@NickyMouth

Nicky, maybe you should follow your own advice first before passing it along to others. In other words, why don't you consider not being a dumb idiot.  

"Insidious despite fearlessj being an ass at times he is still family and threatening family will get you shot repeatedly. Please be careful how you speak to them."

Haha, my sincerest apologies, I don't know what came over me. I guess I just witnessed the current overlords threatening and murdering guilty and innocent people alike and figured it would be something we could all do. My Bad.

"In other words, why don't you consider not being a dumb idiot."

This made me laugh till I snorted.

Insidious, please, not another fucking word out of your piss face

Haha, don't beg. It's embarassing.

fearlessJ

great story (ok I wont lie I didn't read it ALL (or any of it)... but I am sure its great