I'd prefer not to share the stuff that I'm about to share, but I'm just keeping it real, it's nothing to be proud of, I know that, but I just hope someone can maybe learn something from it and understand why I have reservations about people pretending to be bad ass.

The School Dance

Man, this is hard. But I guess it all started around 25 years ago, that was a crazy year. There was a school disco, and we were maybe 12 or 13 but decided to get drunk. This is painful to recall, so I'm sorry if it upsets anyone. I'm just keeping it real, it's nothing to be proud of, I know that.

I got a bottle of Merrydown cider, it cost about $4. That was serious money in those days. I drank all of it and some Martini. Man, it was a crazy scene - none of you will have ever seen anything like it, but I'm not trying to act the big man. It was like Hell on earth. People were being sick, lots of kissing was going on. I was badly sick, so sick that some other kid snitched one me to the feds/teachers. They helped me walk into the assistant principle's office, a real hardass called Dr Murray, and had a bucket for me to throw up into. I didn't tell them ANYTHING, I respected OMERTA. My mum came to collect me and I said I was going to kill them all and we left.

They wanted to 86 my ass for that one, but my mom had my back - she said the local newspaper would be interested in how so many young bloods got so WASTED and they locked me up for 90 minute's detention and I had to write an apology letter to every teacher I insulted or threatened.

I'm just keeping it real, it's nothing to be proud of, I know that. I hope someone can learn something from this and maybe understand why I play this text based mafia game the way I do.

SHIT GETS REAL

This is where it gets real big boy shit, man, I wish I didn't have to being all of this up. My homies and me were really into rave music, and we really wanted to score some pills.  That shit was like $12 a pill, but we eventually got some. One thing led to another, and we really liked it and wanted more. I had the connection, and that dude would hit me up 10 for $90 - I squared my homies up, but still made a good $10 or $20 per score. This was really getting outta control - sometimes I'd buy up to 50 at a time. Some weeks, I'd make double my wages as a part-time crew member at McDonald's. I'm just keeping it real, it's nothing to be proud of, I know that. It's just important that you all know this.

My First Pinch

This is hard, man, this is really hard. We were really outta control by this stage in our gangster lives. We'd go gangster tripping in my man Stu's mum's car. What a ride! A Ford, that thing could move. We'd get our groove on, drinking Gin n Juice, smoking, taking pills and drive around suburban streets, not really very fast, but dude, what a trip. We once raced another guy down a leafy suburban street. Another time we tried to do a handbrake turn and reversed into a hedge. Crazy days. Don't be like this, I'm not bragging, it isn't clever.

Anyway, everyone was SHOCKED when we eventually crashed the car, it was a writeoff. I cut my knuckles up trying to punch out a windshield, and we all managed to get out the back window which had broken. Stu broke his finger and we were bruised, but we were tough kids. The feds quickly knew what time it was though, they got hardass on us, asking us this and that. Stu and me, we were tight, we denied everything, but this guy Mike broke, he confessed and started crying, so eventually I broke too. Man, that was bad. I'm not bragging, it isn't clever. I hope somebody learns from my mistakes.

We all got warned by the polis - and the school was told. Hardass Dr Murray called up in and shouted at us.

I don't think I can write much more, this is tough. Man, maybe I'll continue another day. But this is why I play a text based mafia game the way I do, and it's why I sometimes complain. I'm not bragging, I'm definitely not bragging. I'd much rather people didn't know about this side of me - that's why I'm telling everyone.