Mick busts down the door to the bar where he had called this meeting and hopped hisself up on the countertop where he could see the world. 

Ladies and gentleman may I have your attention please!? I gather you all here do discuss something very important to our way of life. That thing....is Oberta. What is Oberta you ask? Why, that's just a silly question isn't it? If you don't know what Oberta is, you have no right to call yourself a true gangster. It is several things, really. It's a province in Canada. Oberta, Canada. I hear it's quite lovely there this time of year, I recommend we all visit and take in the sights and learn what is is to be true gangsters! We can drink maple syrup from moose horns and listen to the delightful sounds of leaves rubbing against one another. Perhaps even go to a hockey game! I do believe once we do this, we will become much wiser in the ways of ruling and becoming great gangsters. 

Now I know you're thinking to yourself, "Mick why should we follow Oberta?" Well my friends I tell you it is because if you don't, you will be taken off of this planet we know and love as mother earth. Oberta is our way of life! It is our honor, our dignity and our pride. To disrespect Oberta, is to disrespect each and every one of your family members. Even your mother, dear old Roberta. Don't disappoint Roberta.

Now, if you have any questions on Oberta, please do ask. I will answer them all to the best of my abilities.

Dubliner stands up from his corner booth and climbs onto his table.

We must never betray the trust of our crews by breaking the law of Oberta. It's our lifeblood as mobsters, as businessmen, as humans. As we all know, The first rule of Oberta is: You do not talk about Oberta. The second rule of Oberta is: You do not talk about Oberta! Third Rule of Oberta: Someone yells Oberta, goes Oberta, or taps your aunt Roberta, their life is forfeit. Fourth rule: only two guys to a Roberta.

It's Oberta, people. A very important tenant in this thing of ours! Show it some respect and keep it faithful.

Henri had caught wind of an interesting topic. Making his way through shady side-alleys to the small group, Henri walked up to the conversation. He kept reaching into a satchel of beef jerky, scarfing down pieces at a rate that would have made you think they were laced with cocaine. Which they MAY HAVE BEEN YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Ahhh, Oberta.

Good ol' Oberta, what can I say? She's savory and she's sweet, she's intoxicating meat. Oberta, beef jerky of the champions.

Someone taps Henri on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear.

Oh. Right, the other Oberta! The code by which we all adhere to, or should anyway. It's an excellent code, really, just the best. However I can't expand on it, as that's against the rules. Actually, I think we're all breaking the rules of Oberta here. What a shame.

Henri mumbles to himself and nibbles on more beef jerky, disappearing into the background once more.

East_Side_Tacos waddles in, smoking his cigar and nods in agreement to Dub

Oberta is the most important thing in this life of ours, it's something we live by. One of the most important rules. And yet, we're not allowed to talk about Oberta. Such a same. A sacred shame.

Husky sat in the corner quietly drinking his whiskey. Some men, powerful men, respected men, foolish men spoke about Oberta and the impact it had on our way of life in the mafia. Shaking his head in disappointment he thought to himself, "If more of our people spent half as much time educating themselves as they did killing every obstacle, he would never have witnessed the day when a group of mafiosos mispronounced one of their basic tenets."

He raised a glass to toast their core principle of Omerta in the most appropriate fashion, silently.

Husky, have you not been informed about the new cult following that is Oberta? Please do not presume we are mispronouncing anything, most of us are well spoken and quite intelligent individuals. That you have not heard of our wonderful somewhat newfound tradition, is okay with us. We respect both Oberta and Omerta, and we know the difference. Don't confuse us with idiots, we're just a little high on our own supply at the moment.

Dub stopped his celebration to Oberta for a moment as a mobster from Detroit said something about the small group mispronouncing, what Dub understood was a word Omerta? Husky had mumbled it, so Dub couldn't tell if that was what he said or not...

Aye, HuskyRadhe, Oberta. Drink to that, am I right? Just remember, Husky, if someone taps Roberta, their life is forfeit... But there are two guys to Roberta... There's a gray area. 

It's important that your CL and others in leadership throughout the country understand that you fully grasp the code of Oberta and what it means to this thing of ours... Oberta is the true code of us mobsters... It's the only thing that keeps us better than barbarian savages.

Husky, as HenriDucard said, we don't mind if you fancy Omerta's more than Oberta's... It's all in personal preference. But I feel I must continue to reiterate that the man that taps Roberta dies, but there are two men to Roberta... Remember that always.

Turning to his side he saw two men anxiously scratching themselves, their pupils dilated . "More victim of the white poison." Husky thought to himself and sighed.

"In that case, do accept my apologies signores. It would appear it is I who is the foolish one." he said without sincerity as he tipped his hat and went back to his drink.

Roberta's Oberta is a grey area. But Oberta is not grey. In fact, it has no color, as technically it exists but doesn't. Is shadowy a color? If so, Oberta is a shade of shadowy. Unlike Roberta's Oberta, which discussed before, is grey. Unless 3 touch Roberta, then we should all assume she would be red. From the blood of the third, or perhaps fourth, depending on how many drinks were served that evening.

In closing, we should all respect Oberta, but not necessarily Roberta, unless you are third. That is all.

It was the lice. The dosh garn Body Lice! Husky was catching onto Dub... He had to do something, Stat!

Dub ran behind the counter and grabbed a pint of ale. He quickly poured it over the top of his head to try to mask the little creatures.

The room grew silent as the attention was now on Dub. He lifted up his hands in the form of literal Hand Guns and turned around the room.

"Oberta." he said while pointing at the bystanders. He gave a side smile. 

Husky chuckled to himself. He had to admit, watching capos indulge in buffoonery like high school kids drinking their first beer , was somewhat amusing. 

Deciding to play along he raised his arms to the side in mock surrender resisting the urge to smile.

Careful Mick, 'following' things and talking about them publicly is the sort of petty shit that got your father killed. I'd hate to see them have an excuse to do the same to you. Ha.