I walk down the cold damp alley in the middle of the night. I pull out my cigar and it fills with a smokes and I blow it out. I walk to the old abandoned building and I know that a lot of the cities junkies use it to get there high's. I walk in and see the corner's of the building laced with hundreds of needles. "What a shit hole". I walk up the staircase and make my way to the top floor. As I suspected I see a bunch of satanic priests surrounding a pendulum. I take the initiative and pull out my most deadly weapon.  

I approach closely. "NOW BOYS put down the satanic bible and let that poor women out or I will let my assault cat after you." The room remains in silence as three hooded men begin to surround me. I grin as I grab my hat and drop it giving it a shake and then nothing happens.  A few mor eshakes nothing, and then I shake the fuck out of the hat for HoratioPicasso to drop out and land on his paws. He begins to threateningly lick himself making sure he is completely clean before he puts on a smackdown. A minute later he gets up and he walks up to the first guy. YOU should of saw the terror on his eyes! Remarkable!  Horatio starts to sprint towards the man and goes up the man's s pant leg and begins to go in. The screams of the man bekleed through the building and he fell to the ground. Then out pops Horatio ready for more action. He looks at the next man and does his best impression of a crane kick. The two hooded men run away and flee down the stairs. The rest of the satanic priests get the memo and flee down the stairs as well. All that remained was there leader who stood his ground. He dropped his robe too reveal his true form of a tabby cat. 

"So you finally return cousin!" The camera pans to me sitting in a movie seat with a large popcorn and a large drink. "You go this Horatio" I exclaim as I sip on my Coke. After a intense staredown Horatio runs at his cousin and gets smacked across the room. I run up with a towel and begin to coach him. "it's okay kid you go this, it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down it's about the times you get back up that really matter. No go make your Mom proud!" A pumped up Horatio goes back to his cousin ready for another intense round. As soon as Horatio enters he gets uppercutted and falls to the ground unconscious. "SHIT". I yell as I watch from the side. I knew the only way to get out of this situation was a quick retreat as I run down the stairs. "Cats have nine life's your fine!!!!!!!" As I make my descent down the stairs a small pain of regret hits me. But it's just a little gas no big deal. I make my way to the car and then scramble for the keys. 'Where are they?" Then I look up to see Horatio falling from the window and he graciously falls down head first and hits the front of the car. "Horatio are you okay?" No response. 'Wake up! Wake up!" I begin to slap the shit out of him trying to wake him up. BANG "WAKE UP! NO!!!!!!!!!!' Then I hear a small cough and Horatio wakes up in my arms. 

He speaks to me. 'Put me down what are you fucking gay?" I let out a small grin and let him go. "Sorry boss". I grab a smoke and give it to Horatio. I smoke it for him and take a smoke out for me. I ask Horatio "You ready to go?" He looks up at me and tells me to come closer to him I get on my knees and am on the same level as him and I feel his palm go across my face and I shamefully look down. "i'm sorry boss". He looks up at me. 'it's okay kid let's get some ice cream". I crack a smile and ask "With sprinkles?" He looks at me with a intense staredown. "No only winners get sprinkles". 

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Horatio and StreetRatGary went to a nearby café and ordered what they wanted. Surely, people were staring when they sat down facing each other, both of them with the ice cream in front of them. Even though he surely didn't deserve the sprinklers, he allowed himself to put some catnip on top of the sweetness. It made it even better, and he acquiesced in his loss. There was nothing he could have done better in that fight. He was just too strong. 

"What a crazy day," he mumbled to himself and looked up at StreetRatGary. "What's the next thing we're gonna do? Try to defeat my cousin again, or do you have other plans for today? Honestly, I could use some rest before moving on. You know, as a cat I need my 16 hours of sleep a day, and so far I've only gotten 10." Horatio yawned and took another bite of his ice cream. It was still very cold. Why did it have to be so goddamn cold?!

"You know what. I wish they would invent warm ice cream. Like, warm cream. Or just melted ice cream. Or both. Anything that tastes as good but doesn't give me brain freeze all the damn time!"

I cannot even pay attention too the ice cream as my mind begins to wander. What is going to happen with the cousin??????? Why was he pretending too be a human? Why hasen't Horatio told me about this person? Do cats actually have nine lives, well know eight for Horatio but you get the point. But I interrupt the cat within one of his speeches and he was not happy about it. "Well boss we might have to take care of that cousin of yours. BUT I have a hinch on how to get too him. There is a woods a few hundred miles from here which is full of cultists and crazies that worship Satan himself. That must be where his hideout is." He looks at me from his finished ice cream and he tells me "I don't like to humble you but that is a great idea. Let's hit the road and take my cousin down". We leave the booth and walk out to our van. The van is colored white with a lot of dents and dirt all over it. 

I put the gear into reverse and move back and take a right turn onto the street. We zoom down the street and onto the six hour trip to the haunted woods of the cult. We started off having a good time humming too some of our favorite songs that come on the radio. But it all takes a wrong turn around the second hour. I was becoming a little tired and I started to yawn so I wasn't paying attention too the speed.  I went over the limit by at least ten and I hear the sound of sirens beheind us. "What did you do you idiot", Horatio yells at me when he wakes up from his slumber. I pull over on the dirt road and I put the gear into park. But as soon as I see the cop exit from his car they look diffrent from any normal cop. He has no skin and is in fact a skeleton. 

Horatio and are eyes lock in shock. "Is he a skeleton?" i say as I look back from using my rear mirror. Horatio gulps down on air and answers "Indeed it is". As soon as Horatio stops talking the cop pulls up to me with his flashlight pointed into my face. He beings to speak "Now boy did you realize that you were going a little fast there?" I quickly answer "No I didn't officer my bad I am just a little tired". He brings out a notepad writes something down and looks back up at me. "Can you get out of the car for me?" I look at Horatio and he looks away from me. I regrettably leave the van and close the door beheind me. As soon as I get out I grab the back of his skull and slam him into the van. His head slams into the door and he falls to the ground unconscious. His partner opens up the door and goes beheind it. He pulls out his pistol and fires upon us. I move too the front of the van and yell at Horatio. "Stop licking yourself and help me damn it"!

Horatio sighed and considered his options. He wasn't capable of holding a gun properly, so he thought it was better to distract the skeleton officer's partner rather than attempt something he had never even done before. 

He pushed the door open and jumped out to see what was going on. Like the first one, his skin was missing, and all you could see was white bones covered in a blue suit. The guy was aiming his gun towards StreetRatGary's head, ready to fire it, and then his attention was drawn towards the cat approaching him. It almost seemed as if his mouth cracked into a smile, but it was hard to tell. Like Horatio had predicted, he lowered his gun a little and nearly bent down to pet him a little, but he quickly found out it was a bad idea. Another bullet flew through the air and hit the skeleton right between the eyes, and it was as if the whole body collapsed with nothing left to hold it together.

For a few seconds they just stood there in silence. Behind them, the other officer started gasping for air, and both Horatio and Gary turned around to see him get back on his feet. Luckily, Gary was quick with his gun, and soon after he was just another puzzle of bones.

"I wonder what the hell that was all about," he said and pushed the bones away from the van so they could move on.

I grab Horatio and throw him into the van. I start to drive down the road and we continue our road trip down the old long dirt road. We don't seem to have any tails and I continue to look behind me from time to time. Something is wrong with HoratioPicasso as his body becomes to spasm and I begin to worry. "Boss are you okay?" I look over and he stops his tweaking and he becomes completely motionless on the seat. His eyes slowly close and I realize he just died on me. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I pull the van over and it skids to a complete stop. I grab his body and begin to give him CPR.

"Wake up you bastard wake up!" I shed a small tear and then realize there is nothing i can do. I bury him behind a tall old oak tree and it's a legend that it's the tallest and healthiest oak tree in the country now. I know that Horatio would want me to continue and take down his cousin so that's exactly what I tend to do. I continue for four hours before I pull up to the forest. In front of me I see a sign that reads: TURN BACK. But I drive down the right path and do not listen to the sign. I come up to a small group of tents that are off the side of the road. I pull the van into a group of bushes and turn off the engine. I grab my revolver from under the seat and load the chamber with some rounds. I'm half cocked and ready to go!

I walk from behind the cultists and they are seeming to having a good time. They are passing some sort of contraption that when used blows water and then smoke comes out of your mouth. In the center of two of them is some sort of spirit board and he is talking in a language that is unknown to me. I walk around the side and hide behind a tree. I see a cultist a few yards away from me at another tree taking a piss. I sneak behind him and step on a few sticks giving away my sneak attack and alerting myself to him. He turns around in shock screams and he pisses all over me, from my face and down to my feet. I cover my face thankfully but I still get pissed on. He runs at me and I use my revolver pistol whipping him in the side of his temple. I undress the man and put my clothes on. I walk over to the fire and sit down on his chair. They continue to play with the board and pass it over to me. "Brother Gordon it's your turn to ask it something". I nod my head up and down, grab the board and ask it a question.

"Tell me a secret". The rest of the cultists wait for an answer along with me and the camp is silent except for the fire that continues to burn. Then the piece begins to move and moves to read "You're Gay". The whole camp erupts in laughter and my face begins to go completely red. "That's not true this thing obviously is broken. I look over and the board goes from the letter H to A multiple times as the spirit is laughing at me. I pick up the board and throw it into the fire in anger. The cultists begin to look angry and I might of just blew my cover. The man to my right stands up and I pull my revolver and land a shot that pierces his torso causing instant death as he faceplants on the dirt below him. The other two charge at me and two shots hit them, causing them to slump over dead. I look around hoping nobody heard anything and I dispose there bodies into the fire. I walk farther up the hill through the forest area and over a large rock. In front of my eyes is a large compound guards all around the place. I realize I might need some backup for this one.

ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GHOST CATCHERS.......

​​​​​​​Gary gets help from a group of his freinds to battle Horatio's evil cousin and stop his evil plans. Can they succeed or will they die like Horatio? Who knows!

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