So you find your self standing around and you see a gangster with a name like this; Space-Pole, what the fuck, I know you’re all thinking it. Out of the gathering crowd you here;

What kind of name is that, good god man didn’t your parents like you were you an incestuous birth, one born out of sibling wed lock. Well my good man on reflection I don’t think it’s that bad, the crowd looked on ever so puzzled. Ok if you have the time let me explain a few things to you.

Ok so ill begin; let’s start by breaking this monstrosity down,  

 Spatium, Spati, neuter -> Space, these are the Latin words for space. I can see that neuter is in there, well that’s what my parents did to me at birth. A snigger comes from the back of the crowd. Well ok so not a great start bet hell things can only get better right.

Well my friends I was wrong pole doesn’t even exist in the Latin dictionary. In S.P. in minds eye he is starting to sweat and panic, maybe my parents didn’t like me, no I will not have this surely my name stands for something good. Ok so ill try again, POLE, ok well you can whack some one with a pole, who needs a gun hey, erm….. Ladies dance around poles that can only be a good thing right. Each ends of the world have a pole that makes me legendary in my eyes.

Ok SPACE well that’s a pretty huge mass of nothingness, hmmmmm way to go big guy, S.P. can here from the back of his mind. No let me finish, its an unexplored land, nobody knows what’s out there. That’s pretty awesome right. So lets put both words together Space-Pole~ a pretty awesome neuter of nothingness. Once again a loud raw of laughter escalades.

Well the last thing I will say on this subject is, well it could be a euphemism for an extremely large piece of my man hood that reaches space. Ok so in closing my name is not that great, my parets were siblings who had me as a love child, but hey no ones perfect right.

Um, thanks for the story...I guess?  A very interesting tale about name origins, and disturbing to say the least.  The mental images it invokes are frightening.   But I have to say, that story is much more interesting than where my name came from, so at least you have that going for you.  Good luck with that name.  A name we have grown to appreciate here in New York.

As Toby is walking through the streets he hear loud laughing and decides to check it out.

Well S.P. that is quite the tale you have there. Everyone was given a name for a reason, so hopefully you will figure out yours eventually.

As Toby begins to walk away he can't help but start laughing.

Unless your parents really didn't like you.

Toby starts laughing uncontrollably and has to walk away.

As the laughter carries on behind S.P. he turns arounds and shouts,

Toby you can mock all you like, you wont get a go on pole, when you wake up one morning and your gun is no were to be seen dont come crying into my office asking if you can use my pole to whack for you. Plus i no you will be jeleous when you see all the lovley ladies dancing around me it has happend once before,(true story) and it is bound to happen once again.#

Hmmm Mr Paxton surley you cant complain about the images come on man look at my effing name ill swop you. Just think of all the fun you could have getting mocked by are fellow workers. On the other hand im very gratefull New York have let me enter their city with this name.

With that S.P. bows his head and walks his sorry ass and his very long arms(yes another trait my inbread familly gave me) back down the alley he crawled form.

Feeling sorry for mocking S.P. he hands him a box

I got you a double wide box, so your arms aren't bunched together. Atleast now you can stay warm in your alley. As for using your pole, I think I'll have to pass on that one.

I'm sure nobody wants to hear the story of MY name... :(

Acctuly, yeah i do.